Discworld Monthly - Issue 48: April 2001

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 48. We have received quite a lot of feedback regarding availability of the Discworld computer games. Many people have suggested looking on eBay www.eBay.co.uk (although prices can be quite high, apparently).

Most branches of Electronic's Boutique in the UK has Discworld Noir for 9.99GBP.

I have been contacted recently by a company called Target Media that have original CD's of Discworld 2 but no manuals. They are willing to sell these to Discworld Monthly readers for 7GBP plus VAT. www.targetmedia.co.uk

In the Netherlands Discworld Noir is available as a special edition for EUR 13,60. (about 8GBP). More information should be available from the publishers web site (in Dutch and French) at ~~www.nl.infogrames.com~~

Terry will be doing a signing tour in May for The Thief Of Time. We didn't have enough space to include details of it in this month's issue but promise to include all the dates in Issue 49.

--
Jason Anthony (Editor) info@discworldmonthly.co.uk
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Alumnus)

2. News

News from Colin Smythe, Terry's agent.

SFX magazine's readers' awards for 2000 (in the Spring 2001 issue) make impressive reading for Terry.

Under Best Original SF/Fantasy Novel, votes for Terry's books were split between The Truth (17%) and The Fifth Elephant (10.1%), amounting to 27.1% of those who voted. (The winner, Iain M. Banks' Look to Windward polled 18.5%)

Nearly a quarter (23.7%) of SFX's readers who voted thought Terry was 2000's Best SF/Fantasy Author. No. 2 was Iain M. Banks, with 12% of the vote.

Terry's been queried about the services to bookselling bit of his Nibby [set last month's news section -Ed]. When you think of the masses of books he's sold - I'd guess in the region of 22 million worldwide - and how he's helped booksellers survive as a result. And publishers too, for that matter. An email I received recently from one in Eastern Europe implied that if Terry didn't exist, neither would his publishing house. (And I can think of a number of Irish authors' books that wouldn't have been published either.)

As a footnote: I've wondered what the letters JCB - "Jekub" (belonging to the Blackbury Sand and Gravel PLC) in 'Diggers' stood for, and no one I asked was able to tell me - obviously I asked the wrong people. Today's obituary page in the Daily Telegraph gave me the answer - J. C. Bamford, whose initials became the dictionary definition of an excavator, started his business after WW2, paying fifty shillings for welding equipment, and starting with steel from disused air raid shelters, the first named JCB being marketed in 1953.

Artists UK have just obtained copies of a rare limited edition of Josh Kirby's painting 'Insurrection' that was published in the USA in 1990. The image is 23" x 26" on a textured board of around 300gsm. The total edition was 565 with 65 proof copies (a bit more than the 10% admittedly but not too far over). The ones they have are signed and numbered to 500 limited edition. Each comes with a certificate of authenticity signed and dated by AUTHOR SERVICES for the Gallery who published it. It was painted in 1983 for a promotional calendar with the theme of L Ron Hubbard's 'Battlefield Earth' and also has the title 'Battlefield Earth' in Josh's book 'Cosmic Cornucopia' (page 37). The Limited Edition print is supplied unmounted due to its size but priced at just 35GBP. They are available from them now on a first-come-first-served-basis (although they will reserve a copy pending a cheque arriving). They also have copies of Josh's books in stock as well as the full range of Discworld Limited Editions and standard prints. For more information about this print visit:

www.artistsuk.net/acatalog/
ARTISTS_UK__DISCWORLD_LIMITED_EDITION_FINE_ART_PRINTS_12.html (the above address should be entered as a single line on your web browser) or contact Artists UK at 106 Melbreck, Ashurst, Skelmersdale, Lancashire, WN8 6SZ, United Kingdom

Tel: 01695 55 88 33 FAX: 01695 55 88 45 Email: info@artistsuk.net

The stage on which John Lennon and Paul McCartney first played together will be performed on for the last time. The St. Peter's stage in Woolton hosts a production of Wyrd Sisters, before the hall is redeveloped. Wyrd Sisters has a three night run from Thursday 5th to Saturday 7th April, 7.30pm. Tickets are 3GBP, 2GBP for OAPs and under 14s, available on the door. St. Peter's Church Hall is on Church Road in Woolton. For further information please contact Zoran Blackie on 0151 707 0862 or 07977562314, or you can email on zoranbl@hotmail.com for details.

Carpe Jugulum will be performed at the Erith Playhouse, 38-40 Erith High Street, Erith, Kent from 9th-14th April. Tickets cost 5 GBP and performances start at 8pm. For more information call Mrs Betty Bailey at the box office on 01322 350345 between 10am and noon and 5pm and 7pm (not Sundays). All the details are on www.playhouse.org and their new site, www.angelfire.com/scifi/etgcarpe which has photos and a production diary of our efforts to stage the show (Igors, fangs, Oggs, etc!)

Linda Dowdall's recent production of Wyrd Sisters have announced the winner of their raffle for the Clarecraft model of Detritus as Stephen Manley of Sudbury. Also pictures of the production can now be found at their web site ~~www.geocities.com/lindadowdall~~

Esso Music and Drama Group are performing Wyrd Sisters at the Waterside Theatre, Fawley, near Southampton on May 3rd, 4th and 5th. Tickets are available now from 023 8084 1533 or via jen@de-tech.co.uk

Manukau Performing Arts are putting on Wyrd sisters at the Spotlight Theatre in Aukland, New Zealand from 5th to 11th April. For information email mpa@maul4u.co.nz or phone 0-9-278 1456.

Biggleswade Amateur Theatrical Society (BATS) are performing Maskerade at 7.45pm on the 18th and 19th May. The performance will take place at Stratton Upper School in Biggleswade, Bedfordshire. Fore details contact Caroline on caroline.aldridge@ntlworld.com

The Elf Fantasy Fair takes place in Holland on April 7th & 8th, at the Archeon in Alphen aan de Rijn. Entry fees are Fl 29,50. There will apparently be Orc, Troll and Goblin villages. The Guild of Thiefs and the Guild of Adventurers will also be there. For more information visit ~~wwww.discworld.nl~~

Harpercollings Publishers USA are about to launch an new website located at www.terrypratchettbooks.com and www.thiefoftime.net to coincide with the release of The Thief Of Time. The sites will, apparently, include an interesting mix of Discworld facts, special intro messages from Terry, excerpts from all of his books released in the USA and chances to win Thief Of Time.

Ian F. Braidwood diri.gini@virgin.net has recently discovered pc1.klmsz.sulinet.hu/gabo/daw/DAW0.HTM which includes many cover illustrations Josh Kirby did for DAW books in the seventies.

Ian asks that you all visit his "entirely wonderful Brian Stableford" web site at ~~freespace.virgin.net/diri.gini/brian.htm~~ :-)

A new Discworld Forum has popped up on the web called HEX. Hex is located at http://www.coolboard.com/boardshow.cfm?mb=69557186209617

Small Ads....

Anna Novitzky ( dragonkeeper76@hotmail.com ) has volunteered to list as many translations as she can work out armed with a Latin dictionary to anyone who writes and asks. She sadly has very little to do in the evenings. Anna would also be interested in getting in touch with any fans, male or female, 15-19 who are into music and don't like Buffy.

Kirsty Anderson ( banderson@6benyon.freeserve.co.uk ) has completed both Discworld I and II and doesn't really have much need to complete them for the fourth time. She would be willing to sell both (as a set or individually), along with a guide to completing D1 and a free walkthrough of D2 that her brother found years ago.

Trevor Pearce-Jones ( trevpj@globalnet.co.uk ) has Discworld 1 and Discworld 2 for the PC available for sale.

Ditte Deenfeldt ( dittedeenfeldt@hotmail.com ) is hoping there are Discworld fans in Denmark, preferably in the Aarhus-area who would be interested in a Discworld role-playing group.

Adam Harvey ( dragonlover63@hotmail.com ) says: There are rules to Cripple Mr Onion at jump.to/cmo

Rincewind ( rincewind837@yahoo.com ) has created a Discworld Desktop Themes website. So if you want Discworld all over your desktop visit ~~members.nbci.com/rincewind77/dscfront.html~~

Claudia Seppen ( cseppen@hotmail.com ) is a third year English Lit major and is planning to write her thesis on Terry Pratchett and the Discworld. Since Tolkien is hardly considered literature she is expecting some trouble. Has anyone had any experience in bribing or coercing tutors into accepting the Discworld for a subject? Any suggestions or whatnot are welcome.

DWM replies: You could point out that Terry got an OBE for services to Literature.

Paul Taylor ( paul_anthony_taylor@yahoo.co.uk ) is looking for Discworld fans in Birmingham aged 16-18.

Zoe ( jjacob@modemss.brisnet.org.au ) writes: I am hoping that out there on the wonderful world of the Internet that somebody can help me. I would like to buy Wyrd Sisters and Soul Music on DVD but don't know where to start. I have checked at the ABC Shop but they don't have it on their lists. Somebody who lives in Brisbane can you help me please?! I don't want to order it from the Internet or from overseas if I don't have to.

John McaPherson ( gusmac32@emirates.net.ae ) has a problem with his copy of the first PC game. The floppy setup disc is faulty and he now cannot play the game. He would like to know if someone would email him the files from the floppy disc.

Emily Freeman ( emily.freeman@cynghordy.co.uk ) would like to know if there are any school age Discworld fans anywhere in Wales. She would like to talk with anyone about Discworld or anything.

Siobhan ( siobhan_moyes@hotmail.com ) is a Biological sciences student studying at the University of Brighton, England and writes: As I'm entering my final year I've decided that I need a valid distraction from all the hard work (!!!???) that I'm doing and was looking for someone to chat to about, well, life, the universe and everything really. So if there is anyone out there that is suitably bored enough to want to send a complete stranger an e-mail then that would be great. In order for you to know what you're letting yourself in for I'll give you the low-down. I'm 23, female (just in case you couldn't tell by the name), English, although I obviously have a good sense of humour if I love TP and as you can tell I can talk the hind legs of a donkey. I would welcome any responses. Thanks.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email info@discworldmonthly.co.uk

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters, not that anyone's likely to notice.

Each month the writer of the month's best letter will receive two Discworld badges with PTerry quotes on them from Snapdragon Gifts. You can contact Snapdragon Gifts at witsend@ix.netcom.com or www.snapdragongifts.com. Please mention DWM in any correspondence.

*
* From: "Helen Burgess" ( wallace.gromit@ntlworld.com )
*
There are so many references in Terry Pratchett novels that are not just British, but regional. I would be interested to hear from non- UK fans if there was anything they were baffled by when they read the first one. Morris dancing, pantomime or real ale references perhaps?

*
* From: "Shirley McGhee" ( Shirls@shirley100.freeserve.co.uk )
*
I wish Terry would write a sequel to "Equal Rites". It would be interesting to know how Granny Weatherwax guides the little girl wizard as she grows up.

*
* From: "Sam Stokes" ( sam.stokes@dial.pipex.com )
*
In reply to Alwyn Thomas' letter in DWM47, here are some of the Latin mottos from 'The Streets of Ankh-Morpork' - sadly time pressure did not permit a thorough search of every novel :)

Vetinari: "Si non confectus, non reficiat" - If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Fools' Guild: "Dico dico dico" - guessed correctly by Catherine Lamin as 'I say I say I say'.

Merchants' Guild: "Vilis ad bis pretii" - Cheap at twice the price.

Alchemists' Guild: "Omnis qui coruscat est or" - All that glisters is gold (optimism obviously).

Assassins' Guild: "Nil mortifii sine lucre" - (this is a guess) No killing without payment.

Thieves' Guild: "Acutus id verberat" - (another guess) Beat it sharp.

Unseen University: "Nunc id vides/Nunc ne vides" - Now you see it, now you don't.

DWM replies: Sam gets this month's Letter Of The Month.

*
* From: "Yuri Grmov" ( dann@chat.ru )
*
I'm a subscriber to your Discworld Issues mailing. I live in Russia and I have read only 2 books of Terry Pratchett but it made me mad of it. We don't have English versions of his books at all, only in Russian. I'd like to know can you advise where to find electronic versions his books. Any of it will be great. Or maybe someone have them.

DWM replies: The closet you'll get is to order the books through an online bookseller.

*
* From: "Bindu Nayar" ( bnayar@hotmail.com )
*
A minor gripe, but I wondered if any other readers had run into this problem, and what they did about it. My copy of Wyrd Sisters is missing its end. In other words, after page 288, they've got pages 241 through 288 all over again!! It's driving me insane! (Or more insane...) It's a clean copy--was bought new and is illustrated by Josh Kirby. Now I have to go buy another one, and that is no easy task, given that I live in Belgium. Thanks for letting me vent!

*
* From: "Jeroen Kok" ( jdfkok@hotmail.com )
*
I also think that Mr Pin and Mr Tulip have a resemblance with Jules and Vincent from Pulp Fiction, not only because of the -ing swearing, but also because of the comment Mr. Slant makes about Wuffles, the missing dog of the Patrician. He says: "dogs have personality, personality goes a long way" or something similar, which is a quote from Pulp Fiction.

*
* From: "Tom Hauville" ( hauv@one.net.au )
*
I've been reading "The Science of Discworld" and have been pleasantly surprised to the utmost.

Furthermore, it seems that the lies-to-children idea has an extension that is utilised in the book, but not given a name. This extension could be called lies-to-adults. There are so many things in there that -- for want of a better expression -- give us the real 'Truth' about science. To put it another way, the gloss is taken away and we can see what is there, not just the things that science (and its formidable sometimes-partner, the Media) choose to point out.

In my opinion, this book is a definite Must-Read, and I have already got people who know little or nothing about Pratchett & Discworld intrigued in reading it. Besides which, Rincewind is a champion (although admittedly, not a champion of very much).

*
* From: "Luke Goaman-Dodson" ( belzub@btinternet.com )
*
In response to Ben Pobjie's letter of issue 47. On the remark that the Discworld is moving towards modernity, I really don't think that's true. In the first few books (TCOM to Eric, say) we had a vaguely mediaeval world (although strangely lacking in kings and knights and the like, not that that's a bad thing), with incompetent wizards, the occasional dragon, and buckets of magic. In the earlier books magic was magic - but now it has been reduced to a mere replacement for science.

Nowadays the Discworld is a very messed-up world - the Opera House is Victorian, The Dysk is Elizabethan, the Watch is somewhere between a modern police force and a mediaeval city guard, and so on. This will apparently all be sorted out in The Thief of Time. Hopefully the result will be recognisable.

I would also like to ask why Mr. Pobjie believes modernity is inevitable.

Anyway, that's my rant over, best wishes to Mr. Pobjie and all readers of DWM.

*
* From: Elaine Windus ( slyph_2000@yahoo.co.uk )
*
I am writing to you that the U.K Reader's Digest site (www.readersdigest.co.uk) is currently asking for questions to put to the man himself. Not only do you get the chance to have your question answered by Terry, but you could also be given 50GBP if your question is one of those chosen.

DWM replies: We should mention that we've tried this ourselves in the past and 50% of the questions were "When is the next book out?" and the other 50% were "When are you doing a signing tour where I live?". Although seeing as they are offering a cash incentive maybe they'll be lucky.

*
* From: "Annabella Annabella" ( zuppy93@hotmail.com )
*
I can't decide whether to buy 'The Truth' or not. I know it's been slated, but it does have good ol' Ridcully the Brown in it (who is the best character Pratchett's ever written about, in my opinion). Oh, decisions, decisions.

DWM replies: What're you nuts? Buy it! Although if you are not sure wait for the paperback.

*
* From: "Doyle" ( sdoyle@ace-net.com.au )
*
In response to a letter last issue, (47) from SemJoby@aol.com

Wrong wrong wrong. From The Truth: It's the two thugs one of whom believes as long as you've got your potato when you die everything will be okay. And wears it on a string around his neck. (And that's without racking my brain for their names.)

*
* From: Simon Spencer ( simonspencer_2000@yahoo.co.uk )
*
With regards to Stevie's claim that there are now more people alive than there are dead; This is, in fact, totally and utterly wrong. This belief relies on the fact that the population has been increasing at a steady rate since the human race began, but it has not - it has been increasing much more slowly for much of its time. There are many many more dead people than there are live people at the moment.

*
* From: "Eugenia Andino" ( eugenia_andino@hotmail.com )
*
I hope somebody can help me with this. I have read all Discworld books except about four, but I haven't read them in the right order, and I'm confused about the Bursar of Unseen University. I _think_ he acted like a normal person up to a certain moment, and then, he went mad. Am I right? If so, when and why did he go mad?

WB replies: As far as we remember, the Bursar goes a bit strange as a result of Ridcully becoming Archchancellor.

*
* From: KeAahrII@aol.com
*
I am a very big Pratchett fan, and have been since finding Sourcery on the shelves at my local bookstore (I only missed moving pictures since, something I will regret till I can get a copy). I have recently been watching a wonderful British show being shown on TLC (the Learning Channel) Called Junkyard Wars [It is called Scrapheap Challenge in the UK - Ed]. Twice now, during its third season, one of the two teams has made reference to PTerry!! The first was to name a vehicle "The Great A'tuin" The second was the naming of a Boat "Binky 2" after Death's horse. I had wondered if anyone else had noticed these (or other) mentions of Terry's books? During the boat episode, the person naming it explained about Death's horse and everything, the host looked at her as though she was crazy. Interesting thought, heehee, she probably reads this very newsletter, and if she doesn't someone needs to let her know about it.

*
* From: "Nathan Clissold" ( ncliss@penrithcity.nsw.gov.au )
*
Well I've been getting a great response to the Discworld Casting Couch from Discworld Monthly and Wossname with regard to all the different actors (male and female) to play characters. Thanks heaps guys :-)

However there is one fact we're not seeing. WHICH BOOK!

So as part of the site we now have a poll to see which book should be made into a movie.

~~www.geocities.com/SoHo/Village/4108/discworld_the_movie.htm~~

is the addy for the site so drop by and have a vote for the book or let us know which character should be whom.

*
* From: "Elliot Fry" ( elliotfry@hotmail.com )
*
I am a new member of this so I don't know if it has been put to you before but in Lords and Ladies on the subject of knarly ground, and the other magically distorted areas, I believe some of them would look remarkably like M Escher's works. Does anyone else agree?

4. DiscTriva

Just some simple :) questions for you this month.

--
Simon Greener ( sgreener@uk.packardbell.org )

1) Where does Havelock Vetinari's aunt live?

2) What is Constable Visit's full name? (For bonus point - what is the name of his leaflet-wielding partner in religion?)

3) What was Brutha's novice master called?

4) What was written on Igneous Cutwell's door plaque?

5) What name does Sgt Colon think suits Death?

5. Article & Competition: The Clarecraft Event 2001

by Elton Murphy ( Elton@discworldshop.com )

Well, it doesn't seem like five minutes since we staged the last one, but now is the time that we're starting to sell tickets for the 2001 event, which is taking place on the weekend 3rd-5th August.

The theme this year is "Moving Pictures", so you'll need to bear that in mind if taking part in the Maskerade.

Ticket sales will be limited again and, at just 5 GBP for anyone 12 and over, they're bound to be snapped up quickly.

So, if you fancy joining Terry Pratchett, Stephen Briggs and a host of other Discworld celebrities for a weekend of merriment, please book your tickets online at https://secure.keme.net/miuk/clarecraft/c01-form.html

We'll start sending them out in May and will provide more event details on our site as and when plans develop.

--
Elton
www.discworldshop.com

* Competition *

Clarecraft have agreed to give away one of their new Vimes figurines to the lucky winner of our new competition. To enter simply email info@discworldmonthly.co.uk with the answer to the following question by the 20th April 2001. The winner will be randomly selected from the correct entries and will be announced in next month's issue.

Q. The new Vimes figurine from Clarecraft is holding something under his arm... what is it? (Answers on The Collectors' Guild site at www.discworldshop.com)

Even if you're not the lucky winner Clarecraft have a huge range of Discworld figurines and their web site is well worth visiting. It now includes a revamped forum for sharing information with other Discworld fans.

If you decide to purchase anything from Clarecraft's web site please consider using our affiliates link. Any purchases you make this way will earn Discworld Monthly a small commission. ~~www.clarecraft.co.uk/cgi-binr/web_store.cgi?refid=dwmoook~~

6. Review: Guards! Guards! The Graphic novel

Adapted by Stephen Briggs and art by Graham Higgins
Reviewed by Rosa Morley Souter ( Rozi53@hotmail.com )

Like many, I am a wannabe Discworld artist; I love the works of Paul Kidby and Josh Kirby. I was extremely excited to hear about the Guards! Guards! Graphic novel drawn by Graham Higgins; his Mort big comic adaptation was what got me into Discworld in the first place. I like his style of pretty average comic book art. It's the kind of style that I am working on - it doesn't possess the realism of Kidby that we all know and love, and it hasn't got the extreme surrealism of Kirby (both of which I love!) so it balances out nicely.

First off, the depiction of the characters: Vimes. He is the cynical, street worn, drunk, Clint Eastwood of the Disc. He has stubble, a tendency to carry weapons (does a dragon count?) and smoke a cigar. If you hadn't heard of Discworld and read this comic and saw Vimes it would instantly make you want to read the real book. I couldn't believe how Graham had seemed to reach into my imagination (which scarily resembles a comic book) and stick it on paper! He has had a little influence from Kidby, but then: who the hell hasn't? Great!

Nobby and Colon are firm favourites of a lot of City Watch fans - Colon won't fail to raise a smile. What I found strange was how Colon resembled one of my old PE teachers! Nobby looks a bit like a cross between Baldrick from Blackadder and that nasty little thing that haunted the space under your bed. He steals the most laughs in the story such as when the dragon blows up the old Watch tower, as it speeds away he quickly shows what he really thinks of the dragon: Bleep Off!

Now on to Carrot. He is one of my favourite characters so I was a little worried what to expect. Five words: Too good to be true! I think that he has King stamped across his forehead, it isn't hard to imagine what Carrot should look like but it is possible to get him wrong (as I have found out!), but again Higgins doesn't disappoint. Far from it. I couldn't have got it better even if I took ages. The scale and build are remarkable, well done!

Last, but by no means least, is the Patrician. Lord Vetinari, please step forward... in the form of Stephan Briggs, again. I have not heard of many artists / model makers who haven't based their Patricians on Briggs because he IS Vetinari! But looking at this drawing it seems that Graham has taken the biscuit. I'm prepared to bet that Graham got Stephen to pose for him so he could get the face right, either that or the resemblance is too uncanny for words...

All in all, a bloody excellent work. Ten out of ten, five star gold, A+ or whatever. I can only hope that Graham does another Watch book like Men at Arms, Feet of Clay or Fifth Elephant! Watch out for lil' Errol!

You can order Guards! Guards! from Amazon.co.uk at: 0575063025 or WH Smiths on-line at (with 40% off): www.whsmith.co.uk/whs/go.asp?menu=Books&shop=22545&isbn=0575063025&DB=220

7. Review: The Truth - ISIS Audio Book

Recently ISIS very kindly sent me their latest Discworld audio book, The Truth, to review. This is the second Discworld book to be read by Stephen Briggs [I would have thought he would have read all the books by now - WB] the first being The Fifth Elephant which I reviewed recently.

Once again Stephen brings the story alive with his well spoken and easy-to-listen-to voice. The Truth comes over very well in spoken form an I often found myself laughing out loud in my car on the way to work, which isn't a ---ing bad way to start the day.

Stephen has obviously put a lot of thought into how each character should sound. With his booming Mr Tulip, mid-European Otto Chriek, well spoken William de Worde and Welsh Dwarves he appears to have all characters well covered. I did notice at one point that one of the Dwarves had for a couple of sentences what sounded like a Scottish accent but this soon reverted back.

I, unlike some, really enjoyed the Truth when I first read it and also found it very enjoyable the second time round. The new characters are great and many of the things said about the press that produced the Ankh Morpork Times ring true for me: the press that is Discworld Monthly, which is not quite so big a monster, is constantly waiting to be fed!

The audio version of the Truth fits on eight cassettes (two less than the mammoth Fifth Elephant) which puts it back into the normal ISIS price range of 24.99GBP.

For more information about ISIS audio books contact Peter Johnson on Peter.Johnson@isis-publishing.co.uk or visit their web site at www.isis-publishing.co.uk

8. Review: The Thief Of Time

The Thief of Time is the latest Discworld novel, due out in the UK in May. It concerns the construction of a clock so accurate that it threatens time itself - can't be sure exactly why this is, but there you go. Sort of 'traps' time, or something.

The story focuses on Lu-Tze, the history monk from Small Gods, and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd, a young foundling raised by the Thieves' Guild. The monks of history are able to 'slice' time, effectively moving through it far more rapidly than normal people. Lobsang possesses an incredible talent for time slicing, which suggests there's more to him than meets the eye. The two monks set out to prevent the clock's construction and thereby save history!

The clock is being built in Ankh-Morpork by the most skilful clockmaker in the city, a social misfit called Jeremy. Assisted by Igor, Jeremy has been commissioned by a mysterious, beautiful woman called Lady LeJean. Igor quickly notices several odd things about Lady LeJean, including the way her feet don't touch the ground and her ability to vanish into thin air.

Finally, Susan Sto-Helit, Death's granddaughter, is drawn in to the fight to stop the clock being completed. Death warns Susan that the clock will cause the end of time (curiously) and asks her to take care of it. The exact reason why he can't do this himself is pretty thin: it's because of the 'rules' that govern his role, apparently.

This is one of the unsatisfying things about TToT. The whole plot seems rather contrived. Stories dealing with the mechanics of time (or more often, time travel) often have this problem because the author can effectively say anything. There are no hard and fast rules governing manipulation of time (because it's impossible) so the reader has to accept whatever the writer says as gospel, and the rules the writer chooses for time in his particular universe can seem very arbitrary.

Susan's part in the story is pretty ill-defined too. She pops up right at the start teaching at an infants' school in Ankh-Morpork. After that she has very little part to play until the climax of the book, when her role is mainly to be supercilious to the other characters. Fortunately the schoolroom scenes are some of the best in the book, although Susan herself is too superior to be particularly likeable as a character.

Lobsang, by contrast, has too little character to be dislikeable - he's terribly bland. Events are usually out of his control and he's accompanied by someone else who knows the score much more thoroughly, which makes Lobsang seem altogether a bit useless. I think part of the problem I have with the characters in TToT is that they spend too much of the time bantering. If they're only around to make smart remarks or set up a line for another character, you can't really get involved with them.

My major issue with TToT, though, is that it's another apocalyptic scenario. I tend to enjoy the stories about local crises, like The Truth and The Fifth Elephant. With the world-threatening disasters, first time through is rather spoiled by - well, by the world-threatening disaster, I suppose. I don't come to the Discworld for a load of grief, I come to it for a light-weight laugh.

TToT is one of the novels that I've had to read twice to really appreciate it (although I find that's true of nearly all of Pratchett's books - once they're familiar I'm much happier with them). Funniest parts include: Pratchett's brilliant depiction of young kids at school, particularly their written work; practical difficulties of reincarnation; stereotypical mad doctors' habits in Uberwald; probably Mrs War, too. Best line, and the only bit that made me laugh out loud, features the Death of Rats and Henry the Hamster's demise... but I'll leave you to find it for yourselves.

One final point: special mention has to be made of three members of Susan's class... we'll let you decide which three.

9. The End

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* Trivia Answers *

1) Where does Havelock Vetinari's aunt live?
- Pseudopolis {Guards! Guards!}

2) What is Constable Visit's full name? (For bonus point - what is the name of his leaflet-wielding partner in religion?)
- Visit-The-Infidel-With-Explanatory-Pamphlets {Feet Of Clay}
*Bonus* - Smite-The-Unbeliever-With-Cunning-Arguments

3) What was Brutha's novice master called?
- Brother Nhumrod {Small Gods}

4) What was written on Igneous Cutwell's door plaque?
- Using his spelling; {Mort}

Igneous Cutwell, DM [Unseen], Marster of the Infinit, Illuminartus, Wyzard to Princes, Gardian of the Sacred Portalls, If Out leave Maile with Mrs Nugent Next Door

5) What name does Sgt Colon think suits Death?
- Leonard {Soul Music}

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Discworld Monthly - Issue 48: April 2001

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