Discworld Monthly - Issue 54: October 2001

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 54. We've received review copies of both The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents (a children's book set on the Discworld) and The Last Hero (the next Discworld novel). We will include full reviews in next month's issue to tie in with their November world wide releases.

The Last Hero is a joint Terry Pratchett and Paul Kidby illustrated novel staring Cohen the Barbarian. We know that it will be released in two versions: the standard will have a card cover and the deluxe will have a cloth cover. More information about the deluxe version is in the news section.

You can already pre-order all these books from many online retailers. We have included links to some of the most popular. Although there are many more around these are the ones I have found personally reliable.

Please note: The links below are affiliate links which means we will get a small percentage of the profit from any purchases you make. This doesn't affect the price you pay but if you would prefer to visit the sites direct please feel free.

- The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385601239/87
www.whsmith.co.uk/whs/go.asp?menu=Books&shop=22545&isbn=0385601239&DB=220
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060012331/87

- The Last Hero (Standard card cover)
www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/057506885X/87
www.whsmith.co.uk/whs/go.asp?menu=Books&shop=22545&isbn=057506885X&DB=220
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0061040967/87

- The Last Hero (Deluxe cloth cover)
www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575073705/87
www.whsmith.co.uk/whs/go.asp?menu=Books&shop=22545&isbn=0575073705&DB=220

If you use a hotmail account with spam filtering enabled and keep losing Discworld Monthly there is a way around the problem. If you customize your settings you can add the address discworldmonthy@yahoogroups.com to the groups setting and you should not lose Discworld Monthly again.

--
Jason Anthony (Editor) info@discworldmonthly.co.uk
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Fishmonger)

2. News

We have recently added a new section to our web site to show some of the excellent artwork of Jay Hurst. Jay produced the artwork for the cool Mort mousemat that The Collectors Guild sell. Jay still has the originals of two of the pictures for sale.

Moving Pictures - acrylic / airbrush on Gessoerd Hardboard - picture size 70 x 40 cm, mounted and framed size 81 x 50cm, the price including frame and UK delivery is 850GBP.

Emissaries To Malastare - originally commissioned by Dark Horse Comics as a cover for the Trade Paperback edition of the Comic Strip, acrylic / airbrush - picture size 54 x 34 cm. Mounted and framed size 70 x 55 cm, the price including frame and UK delivery is 1090GBP.

For more information visit: ~~link removed as no longer valid~~

Prints of Jay's work should soon be available to order online from ~~www.komixworld.com~~

Stephen Briggs has recently been in contact to remind us that he has exclusive ranges of quality merchandise for the Discworld connoisseur. For more information contact Stephen at sbriggs@cix.co.uk or PO Box 147, Oxford, OX2 8YT.

The Students in the Drama Dept of the University of Bristol are producing Wyrd Sisters on the 5th and 6th October at the Wickham Theatre, Department of Drama, University of Bristol, Cantocks Close, Woodland Road, Bristol, BS8 1UP. Bookings can be made on 0117 987 7877. Tickets cost 5 GBP and concessions cost 4GBP.

Poppy writes: The Room 3B messageboard community has had to move again due to problems with the board hosts and we are now back where we started (possibly due to elvish interference) at ~~boards.eesite.com/board.cgi?boardset=room3b~~. We'd love to hear from anyone we lost along the way and from lots of new people as well. We're a very friendly bunch who chat about all things Discworld so please come and join us.

The Discworld Convention 2002 is delighted to announce that its second Prize Draw is now open. After the success of their first Draw held earlier this year, which raised 620 GBP for the Orangutan Foundation, they have decided to run another competition - with even more impressive prizes. This time you have a chance to win a UK bound proof of The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents or a US bound proof of The Last Hero, among many other prizes.

The proceeds from this draw will be divided equally between The Orangutan Foundation and Diabetes UK. The closing date is October 10th, so don't delay in buying your tickets, which cost 2.50 GBP each.

You can enter at the Website www.dwcon.org/ and follow the 'Prize Draw' link or alternatively, send payment (UK cheque/postal order payable to "Discworld Convention 2002") to: The Discworld Convention 2002, PO Box 2002, Romford RM7 7DQ. Please enclose your name, address and contact details with payment.

NOTE: There is no restriction on the number of times you enter or the number of tickets you purchase, as long as you do so before the closing date!

According to Transworld's web site Terry should be doing a talk in the Town Hall, Cheltenham at 11:30 at the Cheltenham Festival on Sunday 21st October.

Caversham Park Theatre will be performing Maskerade from the 6th to 8th December. The shows start at 8pm and the tickets cost 4GBP for under 16's, 5GBP for pensioners and concessions and 6GBP for adults. The Caversham Park Theatre is located in Northbrook Road, Reading, Berkshire. For more information visit ~~www.cavparktheatre.org.uk~~, tel 0118-948-1377 or email Boxoffice@cavparktheatre.org.uk

Expect to see the DWM team there incognito.

Out of the Hat Ltd have all four of the Terry / Josh Discworld jigsaw puzzles available at their online store. Each jigsaw is available separately or all four can be purchased together at a reduced rate. For more information visit www.awin1.com/tclick.php?id=10984&mid=90

News from Colin Smtyhe ( CPSmythe@aol.com ):

BookTrack (the electronic system that records every book we purchase) has just produced its 300th weekly chart and there were only 44 titles that have appeared in the top 5,000 chart every week during this period. The titles range from Birdsong (Sebastian Faulks, Vintage), to Long Walk to Freedom (Nelson Mandela, Abacus) to The Very Hungry Caterpillar (Eric Carle, Hamish Hamiton/Puffin). Twelve of Terry's books are in this list and include: The Colour of Magic, Equal Rites, Guards! Guards!, Interesting Times, The Light Fantastic, Men at Arms, Mort, Pyramids, Reaper Man, Soul Music, Sourcery and Wyrd Sisters.

This is the description of the special edition of The Last Hero from Gollancz: full black cloth, end papers as the regular edition, no dust jacket, gold blocking to spine and front (with outline image of Cohen), head and tailbands, ribbon marker, individually shrinkwrapped with barcode/price stickered to shrinkwrap.

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Rang_bell_dog_ate_food@hotmail.com would like to ask people a couple of questions for her English coursework!

Which characters would people call weak and which characters would people call strong from the Discworld?
Do people think that male and female characters are portrayed differently in the Discworld books through description and dialogue?

Thelma Johnson ( Economy1819@hotmail.com ) writes: I would like to know if there are any Pratchett fans over the age of 50 out there who'd have time to write a little old Nova Scotian lady who can find no-one local who has ever heard of him? Strangely enough, the books do disappear off the bookstore shelves like snow in May, so the fans must just be keeping their heads down.

Wayne Bass ( waynebass@yahoo.com ) writes: I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but I am a 25 year old, male, citizen of the US and pretty big Pratchett fan who has just finished his graduate school education and is going to embark on a bit of the obligatory European tour to find myself, experience other world cultures, and put off working for a bit (Boy, that was a long sentence). Anyway I was wondering if you could put out the message for interesting things to see or do while there (I have no specific itinerary, so suggestions from all over the Europe are appreciated) especially worthwhile things not to be found in any guidebooks. Plus, I wouldn't mind meeting with anyone for a drink and talk, about the Discworld, of course (again, my plans are loose, so I'm not really sure when I'll be where). Please email with a preferred subject of "European trip/discworld monthly".

Vicki Pimlott ( veek@cwcom.net ) is looking for Discworld fans in the Manchester area to write and possibly meet up with eventually. She is 18 and female and her other interests include Winnie the Pooh, football, music and basically anything you want to chat about.

Ben ( theyokel@yahoo.com ) was wondering if anyone has a copy of the Discworld Calendar (specifically the picture of Death playing the guitar). Ben would like them to scan the picture at full size and send it to him as he has the calendar but no access to a scanner. Ben needs the file because he plans to have it made into a tattoo.

Ross Lastname ( rmsand@home.com ) is looking for anyone in the Philadelphia area who would be interested in playing a Discworld RPG, using either GURPS or Dungeons & Dragons rules. Ross will be moving to Philadelphia in October, and would love to meet any interested parties.

Heathwitch ( heather@longdendale.com ) says: I am about to enter the final year of my English degree and I'm writing a thesis on the representation of Witches in Literature, and how that's affected society's view. My primary Discworld text is "Wyrd Sisters" (of course comparing it to "Macbeth") but I would love to hear from anyone with advice, hints, tips, offers of alcohol ... If anyone can recommend anything for the writing of this paper to go a bit more smoothly, I'd appreciate it. Many thanks!

Yusufi Rahimbaccus ( kenza007@yahoo.com ) is a 22 year old from Mauritius and writes: It is very unfortunate that there are only 5-6 TP books in the municipal library (and I have read all of them, of course!!), and that's all of TP that can be found in my country. I am actually going to France, Poitier to be more specific, and I would like to know if there are any fans from there!!? I am also going to Northampton and I would be very pleased if any fans from there or any fans that know about the place could mail me. I would also like to know whether I am the only Mauritian who subscribes to DWM?

Kleoplanta ( alamierdayaoxtia@yahoo.es ) has a webpage (www.gratisweb.com/ankh_morpork), a forum (~~pub65.ezboard.com/fankhmorpork51414frm1~~) and also a chat room on the #Ankh_Morpork channel of IRC-HISPANO and would like all Spanish spoken fans to visit them.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email info@discworldmonthly.co.uk

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters to correct you mistakes.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

Each month the writer of the month's best letter will receive two Discworld badges with Terry quotes on them from Snapdragon Gifts. You can contact Snapdragon Gifts at witsend@ix.netcom.com or www.snapdragongifts.com. Please mention DWM in any correspondence.

*
* From: "McNail, Deb" ( dmcnail@Breproperties.com )
*
I ran into a problem getting Wyrd Sisters. I could not get this book in America. I checked all the web sites and all the local book stores. Nothing. Apparently it is not available in the US, or at least not available at that time in the US. I think Amazon had a listing for it in hardback but not available for several weeks and at a price I didn't want to pay. (Not to mention I prefer paperbacks). So, I, as an intelligent adult American, knowing that the Internet is a great and WORLD wide event, went to Amazon UK (www.amazon.co.uk). Amazing. There was Wyrd Sisters, in paperback and ready for immediate shipping. And the cost coming in well under the hardcover that I would have waited weeks for.

So, there are ways. Explore the Internet. You might be pleasantly surprised.

*
* From: "Sharla Hardy" ( Sharla.Hardy@ci.stockton.ca.us )
*
I would like to rise to the defence of the Wyrd Sisters video. It got me through the convalescence after rather extensive knee surgery. (Two words you never want to hear in the same sentence are bone and saw). Yes, many of the subplots are missing or extremely simplified. Yes the cartoons are roughly drawn. Yes, the characters don't really match the book's descriptions and I have to think of them as three other witches. The important thing is that most of the really good Pratchett lines made it in. It's auditory chicken soup. Even now that I'm up and dancing I still pop it in just as a pick-me-up. I can see a time when I'll have to buy another set because I've worn this one out.

*
* From: "Navaid" ( navaidzafar@cyber.net.pk )
*
I am Navaid. I am a 26 year old Discworld fan who is perhaps the most desperate person in the world. Every time I read your newsletter it adds to my sense of being the most unfortunate.

My tragedy started when I accidentally caught hold of Reaper Man in the British Council library of my city Karachi. The curse was upon me. I looked for more but alas there WAS NO MORE. I have only read Reaper Man, Feet Of Clay, and Moving Pictures. I have searched like a mad man but couldn't find any other of Terry's books anywhere (even though Karachi is bigger than 80 countries of the world).

One more thing, I thought owl was considered the symbol of wisdom in the West, where in the East an Owl is considered the emblem of utter stupidity. So when Terry came up with the idea of Morpork sitting on the Ankh, which Morpork did he have in mind?

*
* From: "Joan McKinney" ( joanmck@qwest.net )
*
Stateside here with a question. I am on your monthly newsletter listserv and keep hearing you talk about the plays and productions that you Brits do with the novels. Is there a chance that any of these are videotaped and are on the market for sale? Both my son and I are huge fans and have all the novels so it would be great if we could see some of this 'stuff' played out. Please let me know, I would love to surprise my son for Christmas with some if possible.

JA replies: I hope your son doesn't read Discworld Monthly then!

*
* From: "knight juniper" ( amishwizard@yahoo.com )
*
Does anyone know if The Pratchett Portfolio by Paul Kidby contains ALL the pictures from the 2000 Discworld calendar? (especially "under eldritch skies" and the scientific wizards oil painting spoof) I would like to know before I purchase the book over the calendar.... here in the states, neither are readily available, and I have to get them online, sight (somewhat) unseen.

*
* From: Velirabell@aol.com
*
Referring to RvnLee2@aol.com (Eric)

I've got some difficulties fitting Eric in the Discworld-history. A major point is that the way the universe is created is completely different from the description in Soul Music. I prefer Soul Music because it's really COOL, and I like Death much more than Rincewind. I think of Eric like the "Worldpool"-stories of Elfquest: something that might have happened, but did not happen in fact - a different leg of the trousers of time, to come back to Discworld. Time-travelling is often a bit chaotic, and so maybe Rincewind met the creator of a different universe.

*
* From: "Ian Cowley" ( ian@iancowley.co.uk )
*
How incredible is Kimberly Chapman's Discworld cake? Wow. Hats off to a marvellous effort and superb end result.

All I want to know now is how much Kimberly charges to make one of those cakes and get it sent to the UK by DHL?

I especially like the fact that it's possible to see Discworld books on the shelf behind the cake in one of the gallery shots - I think it's Witches Abroad, Small Gods and Lords And Ladies - any ideas people? Could we maybe make a new sport of "Identify the small and slightly blurry paperback spine"?

*
* From: Werner.VanHuffel@solution6.com
*
You may be interested to read this... news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_1537000/1537645.stm just think, they already have the mice covered....

*
* From: "Claire Collings" ( Jerakeen@aol.com )
*
I have read your Discworld Monthly for some time and have enjoyed it very much but I feel very much after many years of Terry Pratchett wonderment that I have lost him recently. I feel lonely and miss the old Terry. The Truth has gone unfinished in my room and I feel some sort of bereavement when I look at many of my favourite books which are pre The Fifth Elephant. What has happened? I think he is wonderful but now a different Mr Pratchett. I could not buy the recent novels and this is not like me! I hope to one day pick up his latest and be hooked again but it may take sometime.

*
* From: "Kate Young" ( duchess_vimes40@hotmail.com )
*
This is in response to the lady that said that she had taken some of the tape versions of the books on holiday....... I am dyslexic and have a lot of trouble reading the books [although that has never stopped me]. I currently own 3 of the books on tape which are Mort, The Colour of Magic, and The Last Continent. They have been through my tape player so often I'm almost word perfect. Thanks to the people who thought of this.......

*
* From: "David Spence" ( david.juggler@gmx.de )
*
As a Brit living in Germany, I have spent the past 3 years transporting my beloved collection of Discworld novels from my "old" to my "new" home. When I had no more to read I was forced to sit it out, re-reading everything until my next visit allowed me to pack a few more, or buy another book in English. You see, despite my very good grasp of the German language I was determined not to believe that the translations could be anywhere near as good at the originals.

It all begins with the book-titles: some are *very* different. And then the characters' names! I think I can safely say that NO German reader is going to understand that Littlebottom is called Littlebottom because being a dwarf (s)he's got a Short-arse...

But here comes the best bit: last month I finally caved, bought a German copy of Jingo (having never read the original), got over the initial shock of Vimes being called "Mumm" (it means something along the lines of "courage", or the lack of it - fits into the context anyway), but that's not the most important bit...

The point it, I thoroughly enjoyed the book! I enjoyed the jokes, marvelled at Terry's use of language (despite it being a German's best effort to convey the same picture), and laughed myself silly on a few occasions. Terry's books DO translate well. Any of you living abroad should give them a try. Right, now that's said I'm off to find myself a copy of "Schweinsgalopp".

DWM replies: David gets this month's Letter of the Month.

*
* From: "Elizabeth K" ( LizK42@aol.com )
*
I live in the U.S., and American Discworld fans are like Casanunda the dwarf - we have to try harder. I've occasionally taken note of words or phrases in the books that didn't make sense to me even in context, hoping to ask a Brit to translate if I ever had the chance.

But then I tried to make a few of the recipes in the Nanny Ogg Cookbook. Being unable to identify more than half of the ingredients needed, I decided it was time to do some research.

So I thought maybe other U.S. readers would appreciate the list of British-American Discworld translations I came up with. Most are food-related, although looking at the definitions of things like treacle and suet, I use the term loosely.

Aubergine - eggplant. Actually refers to the vegetable, not just the color.

Bognor (Wyrd Sisters) - apparently a not-very-popular beach resort in England. Someone please correct me if that's wrong. [With apologies to people from Bognor - Ed]

Caster sugar - regular granulated white sugar. [Actually a very finely ground sugar - Ed]

Coriander - cilantro.

Courgette - zucchini. I think this explains a Nanny Ogg joke I didn't get at the time.

Cress - type of salad greens.

Currants & Sultanas - both are basically raisins; sultanas are golden, while currants are dark, smaller and tarter than the kind that show up in raisin bran.

English mustard - hot mustard.

Jelly - Jello. Our jelly is their jam.

Jumper (Fifth Elephant) - Sweater. This is another one of those fries=chips, chips=crisps word problems. I don't know what Brits call the dresses we call jumpers. I tried to explain it to a Welsh friend of mine and she looked at me blankly; we decided "pinafore" might be close. But I think it was funnier visualizing Lady Margolotta in our kind of pink jumper.

Patience (Witches Abroad) - Solitaire.

Porridge - oatmeal.

Prawn - small shrimp.

Pudding - a general word for dessert.

Salad cream (Thief of Time) - Terry's footnote piqued my curiosity, so I checked this out. It's Miracle Whip.

Suet - raw beef fat. In the U.S., used in bird feeders, not in cooking. At least I hope not. Some of the fast food places, you never know.

Swede - yellow turnip, or rutabaga.

Sweet Fanny Adams (Jingo) - A euphemism meaning "nothing at all" but with a slightly stronger implication; we would probably have given Prince Khufurah the degree of Doctorum Jack Merda. (Doctor of Jack S**t)

Treacle - similar to molasses; think very thick, goopy pancake syrup.

Verruca (Hogfather) - a wart.

Hope this helps some people.

4. Review: Carpe Jugulum Live

Kennet Amateur Theatrical Society (KATS) recently performed Stephen Briggs's adaptation of Carpe Jugulum at Kennet School in Thatcham, Berkshire. The play took place on Thursday 30th to Saturday 1st September 2001. Three different performances obviously not one very long one.

Among the guests on the first night were Terry Pratchett and Bernard & Isobel Pearson of Cunning Artificer fame. Terry seemed to spend much of the time doing an impromptu book signing and I noticed that people were even trying to hand Terry books for signing during the performance!

I have been to a few Discworld plays and have always been impressed with the various ingenious ways people interpret the scripts. KATS had one of the best ideas by having Perdita X played by a separate actress. The other excellent idea was the use of a strobe light to give the impression of slow motion. This was used to good effect in a couple of places in the show, most memorably near the end when Mightily Oats hit the Count with his axe. KATS also used some extremely loud pyrotechnics during the show that certainly made me jump.

This performance also had quite impressive sound: whistling winds while the Witches were on the gnarly ground, rain storms etc. Death's voice also sounded very good.

The level of acting was really good with some impressive performances from Mike Cole as the Count, John Hicks as Igor and Janet Kilgallon-Brook as Nanny. The rest of the cast were also very good. First night teething problems caused more than a few missed lines but quick prompting got the action going again.

The seats however were probably some of the most uncomfortable I have ever sat in and I was pleased to have the opportunity to move about during the intermission.

Even with this distraction I found the play to be highly enjoyable and the extended round of applause at the end suggested that most of the patrons thoroughly enjoyed themselves. If KATS decide to perform another Discworld play I would certainly go again.

5. Competition: Win Collectors Guild Goodies

We have arranged with Elton at the Collectors Guild a very special competition to win a pair of Clarecraft Event Ruby & Detritus bookends (of which only 100 were made and which retail at 109 GBP). Images of the prizes are available on the Collectors Guild web site.

To enter the competition send the answer to the following question to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk by 22nd October 2001. The winner will be randomly selected and the results will be announced next month.

How many Magrat in Armour figurines were made for last year's event?

Hint: The answer can be found in the Limited Edition section of the Discworld shop. You can get to the web site via www.thecollectorsguild.co.uk

6. November Signing Tour Dates

Terry will be out and about signing copies of both The Amazing Maurice and The Last Hero in November.

WEEK 1

Wednesday 7th November 2001

12.30pm WH Smith, 049 Lower Mall, Cribbs Causeway, Bristol, BS34 5GG
4.30pm Blackwells, 13-17 Royal Arcade, Cardiff, CF10 1AE

Thursday 8th November 2001

12.30pm Waterstone's, 219-223 Dean Street, Telford, Shropshire, TF3 4BT
4.30pm Hammicks, 2 Warren Street, Stockport, SK1 1UD

Friday 9th November 2001

12.30pm Interstellar Mastertraders, 33 North Road, Lancaster, LA1 1NS
7.00pm Chester Literary Festival (Contact Freda Hadwen - 01244 319985 for tickets)

Saturday 10th November 2001

11.00am Andromeda Book Co. 2-5 Suffolk Street, Birmingham, B7 5SB
2.30pm Books Etc, Unit 45, Touchwood, Solihull, B91 3GS

WEEK 2

Wednesday 14th November 2001

12.30pm WH Smith, 2 Devonshire Walk, Eagle Centre, Derby, DE1 2NN
4.30pm WH Smith, 38-40 Fargate, Sheffield, S1 2HE

Thursday 15th November 2001

12.30pm Ottakar's, 297A High Street, Lincoln, LN2 1AF
4.30pm Bookmark, 20 The Crescent, Spalding, Lincs PE11 1AF

Friday 16th November 2001

12.30pm Waterstone's, 15-19 Buttermarket, Ipswich, IP1 1BQ
4.30pm Ottakars, 11-17 Castle Street, Norwich, NR2 1PB

Saturday 17th November 2001

12.00pm Forbidden Planet, 71 New Oxford Street, London, WC1A 1DG

WEEK 3

Tuesday 20th November 2001

4.30pm Ottakars, 3-7 Union Bridge, Aberdeen, AB11 6BG

Wednesday 21st November 2001

12.30pm Ottakars, Unit 1, Upper Mall, Princes Square, East Kilbride, G74 1LJ
4.30pm Borders, Kanaird Park, Edinburgh, EH1 3RD

Thursday 22nd November 2001

12.30pm Ottakar's, 100 The Glade Shopping Centre, Bromley, BR1 1DJ
4.30pm Hammicks, County Square, Ashford TN23 1YB

Friday 23rd November 2001

12.30pm Borders, Unit MSU6 Churchill Square, Brighton, BN1 2TB
4.30pm Waterstone's, West Quay Shopping Centre, Western Esplanade, Southampton, SO15 1QE

Saturday 24th November 2001

11.00am Waterstone's, The Oracle Centre, 12 Holybrook Mall, Reading, RG1 2AQ
3.00pm Borders, 1-12 Magdalen Street, Oxford, OX1 3AD

7. Survey Results

Last month Lizmari ( lizzy@virtuality.co.za ) volunteered to conduct a poll on which characters are the most popular. Everyone was only allowed to vote once, but could vote for more than one character if they wished. Lizmari has tallied the votes for your perusal below. We don't think there are too many surprises in the top ten and of course who could challenge Death's hold of the top spot?

DEATH: 60
Sir Samuel Vimes: 34
Granny Weatherwax: 29
Nanny Ogg: 14
Gaspode: 13
Rincewind: 13
Lord Vetinari (The Patrician): 10
Captain Carrot: 10
Archancellor Ridcully: 9
The Librarian: 9
Susan Sto Helit: 9
Death of Rats: 7
The Luggage: 7
Angua: 5
Detritus: 5
Twoflower: 3
Greebo: 3
Nobby: 3
Agnes Nitt: 2
Magrat Garlick: 2
Om: 2

Characters with 1 vote (in no particular order):

Bloody Stupid Johnson; Brutha; Ginger; Shawn Ogg; C.M.O.T. Dibbler; Teppic; The Dean; Sergeant Colon; Lady Sybil Vimes; Lu Tze; Otto (The Truth); Ponder Stibbons; Hex; Cheery Littlebottom; Cohen the Barbarian; All Igors.

We would like to thank Lizmari for taking the time to run this poll.

8. Feature: A life in the day of a rather unusual shop.

By Bernard "The Cunning Artificer" Pearson

Now Wincanton is not normally a place one would associate with magic and sticky buns. Well sticky buns you might, but it is the most un-magical place in the world, outside Luton anyway.

So I suppose it's the magic of the people who rock up here that does it.

When we first opened, nearly nine months ago, a local wandered in from the pub up the road, looked round in a somewhat startled fashion, said no word to Isobel or myself and went back out into the street. There lurked a man of similar alcoholic disposition - he turned to him and exclaimed "-ingornamants that what they got, all -ingornaments"

Yes there are indeed 'ornaments', many of a Discworld persuasion, there are books, (er also Discworld) pictures, some Discworld some not. Would you believe picture framing and some rather fetching silk flowers? Also we occasionally litter the place with our own humble efforts in clay, garden pots and the like.

So a fairly ordinary sort of gift shop come gallery come retail establishment you might well surmise.

Well yes, in a way.

It's also something that Isobel and I strived to create around our kitchen table for many years. A place for those that read the books to come and feel at home in, a place where you're taken as read.

For years we always talked of having the sort of place where people could drop in, grab a drink, partake of the cake, and just enjoy. No hassle, something always on the go, something always new to be seen, and somewhere to rest the feet while exercising the jaw, and all in the nature of Discworld.

Seems a bit daft writing it down on paper, but the visitors book shows somewhat differently.

You see, Wincanton is on the road to the coast, just half an hour from Stonehenge, in that bit of Somerset that's good for cider and cheese, and places to stay while you're on the road to somewhere.

Furthermore it's not far from a certain gentleman of letters in Wiltshire and a dubious daubist with a lovely wife, one P Kidby Esq. And even that scrote Rob Wilkins has been known to sidle in under cover of darkness. And occasionally, and when the time is right, that gentleman of letters makes an 'official' appearance *.

So here we are, tucked away in a little market town that settles in the folds of the hills like a drunk on a park bench. If you get the chance drop in, there will certainly be interesting things to look at, and if the timing is right a sticky bun.

* The next will hopefully be on Sunday the 2nd of December.

The Discworld Emporium is located at: 41 The High Street, Wincanton, Somerset, BA9 9JU Web: www.artificer.co.uk Email: bernard@cunningartificer.demon.co.uk

9. The End

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Discworld Monthly - Issue 54: October 2001

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