Better Than

Discworld Monthly - Issue 64: August 2002

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. Birthday Trivia Part 9
5. The Bursars Column
6. Article: Terry wins the Carnegie Medal
7. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 64. Terry has recently won the Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. This story was picked up by lots of major British newspapers, but most seemed to concentrate on Terry's apparent attack on Lord of the Rings and JK Rowling... More information about the award can be found in section 6.

This is the last you issue you will receive before the Convention. Next month we should have a full review of what happened. If you see me at the Convention remember to say hi (and buy me a drink). Remember to visit the fan activity event where I and other editors of fanzines will be available for a question and answer session. Although don't ask too many technical questions, please!

Jason Anthony (Editor)
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Statler out of the Muppets)

2. News

Kay Ratcliffe writes: Come and see HARLINGTON PERFORMS perform their adaptation of Pratchett's MASKERADE on 12th and 13th July at Harlington Village Hall. Contact box office on 01525 758874.

The members of the Seamstress Guild of Ankh Morpork (California Chapter) invite you to a Discworld Fan Party in honour of their esteemed founder, Mr. Terry Pratchett, to take place on Friday, August 30th from 7 - 10 pm at the World Science Fiction and Fantasy Convention in San Jose, California (U.S.A.). Please visit for more details or write to Denise Connell, the party's organizer at

The rescheduled Lords And Ladies at the Rollright Stones will now take place on 9, 10, 11, 16. 17 & 18 August 2002. Performances commence at 8.30pm on Fridays, 4.30pm and 8.40pm on Saturdays and 6.30pm on Sunday.

Please send cheques/postal orders (enc SAE) made payable to Lords And Ladies Productions, PO Box 333, Banbury, OX16 4RX

Ticket prices are;

Concessions (child / unwaged)10.00 GBP
Members of FORS12.50 GBP
Advance discount (7 July)15.00 GBP
After 7 July & gate sales20.00 GBP

The same team will be putting on Lords and Ladies at Lime Tree Farm, Ripon on 23, 24 and 25 August.

Further information is available on the website or via email

The first-ever International Terry Pratchett Fan MEETUP Day is Monday, August 5 @ 7:00PM, and then every month thereafter!

MEETUPs are apparently informal, local, face-to-face gatherings where Terry Pratchett fans of all types can talk about all-things-Pratchett... AND make new friends in the process.

All MEETUPs are FREE and are happening in over 500 cities WORLDWIDE!

They've tried to make it easy by picking some good MEETUP spots for this event, including local cafes, restaurants, and stores.

Check out the Terry Pratchett MEETUP page here:

Wonderland Production is returning to the Edinburgh Festival with another Terry Pratchett. After the success of last years "Wyrd Sisters" Wonderland Productions will grace C Venues 198 capacity with "Mort".

The performances will take place from 31.07.02 - 25.08.02 at the Edinburgh Festival and 04.10.02 - 05.10.02 at the Wickham Theatre, Bristol. Tel: 07989 985608

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Honey Dew writes: I am a fifteen year old girl from South Africa. Try as I may, I have been unable to convert my friends to Pratchettism. I have found NO ONE that I can talk about Discworld about. So this is a plea, to anyone (whether you're my age or not) to PLEASE contact me. At this e-mail address. I am SO starved for some Discworld conversation. Anyone who wants to discuss Discworld, or life, or whatever, please, don't hesitate to e-mail me. Please help. I'm in a cultural wasteland.

S.K.Sodhi writes: I have 2 brand new sets of the Discworld hardback special editions from BCA. (The first 3 books of the Discworld series). They are leather bound with Paul Kidby illustrations on the front and a full Discworld map on the inside cover. RRP 60 GBP each but I'm willing to sell each set for 40 GBP (+p&p) or the nearest offer I get. For more information either email me or text 07752283316 and I'll get back to you.

Keith BATCHELOR has for sale all 24 Discworld novels. All boxed and ready to go, 90GBP (o.n.o.) will secure them a better home. They are all paperback and in excellent condition. It would be a shame to send them to the landfill site along with most of my other possessions!

Jesse Clemens writes: My favourite Discworld character is Susan, and I would love to get hold of the new figure, which is an event only piece. Being an American, it is rather hard for me to make it to Clarecraft events to purchase it for myself. If someone would be willing to purchase it for me, I'm willing to pay for the figure, shipping, and something extra for your time. Thanks a million. (PS: contacting me before you buy it would be a good idea. :-)

Sharon Edmonds writes: I'm wanting to ask if anyone has the pc versions of the Discworld games for sale or exchange. I have the 2nd and 3rd game on playstation and would be willing to either sell there or exchange them.

[Name Removed upon Request] writes: I'm looking for Terry Pratchett short stories. I have some, but I'm missing many and I know at least one I'm missing was in a convention programme. If you can help me track down any stories, or want to sell me anything, please email me. Thanks!

Nicola Crossley writes: Ever wanted to be on stage in a Pratchett play? Well, now is your chance. Having produced many shows over the past few years, The Purple Theatre Company are proud to be staging their 5th Terry Pratchett production, Lords and Ladies on November 13th to November 16th this year.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters (sound of knives being sharpened).

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

This month we are hoping to get some new gifts to give away but they haven't arrived yet. So this month's best letter will get a prize so secret that we don't know what it is.

* From: "Peggy Brett"
If I can be forgiven for adding my comment to a discussion which most people have probably finished by now (well I'm going to anyway), on the subject of the 'visual' joke of Mr. Pin and Mr.Tulip, in 'The Iliad' Homer used the height difference between two Greeks (both called Ajax) as a joke, so that goes a lot further back than any of the letters say.

* From: "Chris Medcalf"
In reply to 'Ferg's observation about hardbacks always being published before paperbacks...

It's a tradition, or an old charter, or something.

(whoops... wrong author!)

* From:
I was amused by this note in the food section of today's Denver Rocky Mountain News. It seems C.M.O.T. Dibbler has an upscale cousin currently working in New York:

"Snacks on a stick. Gourmet Pops from New York chef David Burke gave a new meaning to snack-on-a stick. Burke boxes smoked salmon, goat cheese and foie gras to look like lollipops, and they go from refrigerator to party platter."

* From: "Tony Tait"
I am directing Guards! Guards! for Mana Little Theatre in Plimmerton New Zealand, I was wondering if anyone knows if a production of this play has been produced in NZ within the last couple of years. I want to discuss the librarian and Death.

* From: "April Sexton"
I was hoping you could either help me with some information or guide me in the right direction. As you may already know, Discworld fans abound in the States but no one has done any of the plays yet. At least not that I've heard of. I'm really interested in seeing one so I figured I should try to produce one. How do I go about doing that? I guess I'm interested in speaking with someone (preferably email) who has experience producing these Discworld plays. I don't have any idea how to obtain the script or how a production is put together.

Any thoughts or any direction you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

* From: "Dee Owen"
I was just wondering about a small bit of information in this month's edition of Discworld Monthly. In regards to Terry's new books, it states that 'The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents', is a non Discworld novel yet the front cover on the hard back edition distinctly states on the bottom of the cover, under the title, that it is indeed 'A Story of Discworld'.

Sorry to be dogmatic but I thought it might be worth pointing out.

Also, could you tell me how much it is to join the Discworld Collectors Guild, Clarecraft? I know it used to be 15 GBP but am not too sure if it has gone up these days.

DWM replies: I am not sure of the Clarecraft cost. TAMAHER is not officially considered to be a Discworld Novel in that it doesn't fit in the Discworld series. It is however set on the Discworld.

* From: "David Damiral"
Hi Rosemary,

Sorry, I can't help with your request, but I wanted to let you know that your one/two message on the Discworld forum was the funniest thing I read in a while. In fact I was laughing out loud so much that my beloved came out from the TV room to see what was going on and gave me a thump on the back to bring me to my senses.

So.. if you know how to remove blood and stringy green stuff from a computer monitor without damaging the coating please let me know.

p.s. If you are wondering what 'mz' means, it's Mozambique. Take a cheapo flight to London, drive down the Brighton road until you get to Johannesburg, then turn sharp left. When you reach the coast ask for David.

DWM replies: We should probably mention that the first message was genuine. Letter of the Month goes to David.

* From: "DesERt rOsE"
Can anyone help me? My favourite Discworld book is "Guards! Guards!", as I am a big dragon fan, and I wondered if anyone knew of the existence of any non-fiction books about dragons. I am having trouble finding any, and I'm sure there must be a few. I would be very grateful if anyone could email me and give me a title.

* From: "John Duffy"
Bel and Baal translate as "Lord", and were a fairly common element in personal names in the ancient near-east (eg Jezebel) The Hebrew equivalent was El, as in Elijah, Samuel, Michael etc.

* From:
I don't know if this has been mentioned before (I have a bad memory), but while reading The Last Hero I came across a section I recognized from my 11th grade research paper. On page 93 Vetinari is talking with Rincewind and he says "'But it could be said that someone would have to be insane to take part in this venture... in which case, of course, you are fully qualified.' 'Then...supposing I'm not insane?' 'Oh, as ruler of Ankh-Morpork I have a duty to send only the keenest, coolest minds on a vital errand of this kind.' ... 'I think there's a catch there,' ... 'Yes. The best kind there is,'..." And that catch would be a catch-22. The next quote is taken from the book Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. "There was only one catch and that was catch-22...Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did he would no longer be crazy and have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."

* From: <>
I am preparing an article for our magazine "Daring Drones" of The Drones Club of Belgium (The one and only Belgian Wodehouse Club) in which I will try to indicate the influence of P.G. Wodehouse on Terry Pratchett. Therefore I need some information and maybe some of your Pratchett-addicts can help me. Would you be so kind to inform me if there are interviews or articles in which they mention Wodehouse's influence? It would be very helpful for me

* From: "Adrienne Hatt"
I'd like to pose a question to your readers. I'm an avid TP fan, his being the only books I seem to read any more. I came across a reprint copy of The Dark Side of the Sun in a Chapters book store (I live in Nova Scotia, Canada) and I'm curious to know what other TP fans thought of it. I always enjoy reading anything TP writes but I have to admit I missed the humour found in the Discworld books and without much lead in it took me quite a few pages into the book to figure out what I was actually reading about. Hope you print my letter, I'm eager to hear other opinions.

* From: "J Shepherd, Science 98"
With reference to last month's Birthday Trivia quiz:

If I set out Widdershins from the Hub on Small Gods' Eve, how far will I be Turnwise from the Ramtops by Hogswatch Night?

Answer given, quite rightly, as "Who gives a shit? It's not REAL!", but this in any case is a question without an answer. As the Hub is the geometrical centre of the Disc and Turnwise is the direction of rotation of the Disc and Widdershins is the direction against the rotation of the Disc, it is in fact impossible to move either Turnwise of Widdershins when standing at the Hub. In fact (apart from 'up') the only possible direction of motion from the Hub is Rimwards. This is an identical situation to the only available direction when standing at our North Pole is South.

Picky, picky, picky, but it's raining outside and I have holes in my shoes!

* From: Tom Sutcliffe
Major anorak alert I'm afraid, but...

Given that going anti-clockwise from the centre of the disc won't move you anywhere (kinda like going north at the north pole) and that nowhere can be a radial distance away from the centre, shouldn't the answer in fact be zero, but you'll be very dizzy?

That crazy William Barnett eh? I hope this question made people pore over copies of the Discworld Mapp for hours :)

DWM replies: These are representative of a number of letters on this subject... to say nothing of those about NCC-1701.

4. Birthday Trivia Part 9

This is the penultimate instalment of five questions from my birthday trivia quiz. All questions were written by William Barnett so if the answers are wrong, once again blame him.

What medication does the Bursar take?
What, according to the song, is distinctive about a wizard's staff?
Name Ankh-Morpork's premier entrepreneur.
Where do the undead drink in Ankh-Morpork?
With what animal is Offler usually associated?

The answers can of course be found in the final section of the newsletter.

5. Bursar's Bulletin IV - by Paul A Rood, 24th June 2002

* Vampire Ball *
Tickets for the Vampire Ball have sold very quickly - there are a few left for those of you who still want to attend. However, please do book now to avoid disappointment. You can fax your booking, along with your credit card details, to this number: 01708 705377.

We are delighted to confirm that the vegetarian option will be a specially crafted dish, prepared by the Hanover's Chef especially for the Convention. Vegetables Wellington features seasonal vegetables in a light golden puff pastry shell. Anyone vegetarian should select this option when booking.

For those of you not attending the Ball, we are arranging a number of different activities to entertain you throughout the evening. We have been working with a young chap called Vic Wadmore to organise a special game of Live Thud to be played at the Convention. Vic is organising a Discworld gathering called WadFest in September this year and is looking for volunteers to take part in the game. Be sure to arrive early to get the best axe! Later in the evening those not attending the Ball will be able to join the Count de Magpyr's guests for gaming with the Gamblers' Guild. You can purchase your initial stake by making a small donation to our charities and can spend the rest of the evening trying to accumulate the most money and win one of our fantastic prizes.

* Hotel *
We continue to take bookings for the core nights of the Convention, as well as for Thursday and Monday nights, at our reduced Convention rate. If you have yet to secure your accommodation, please be sure to complete a booking form and either fax or post it to us quickly. There are very few rooms left, but we will endeavour to meet any member's requirements, provided we get enough notice. We regret that those of you wishing to share accommodation costs must contact us before the 7th of July otherwise we may not be able to assist in your accommodation requirements. If you are seeking someone to share with, we recommend you use one of the many Internet fan sites or newsgroups as well as our service.

* Gophers *
In the next issue of the Chronicle we will be publishing our volunteers form to attract Gophers to help run the Convention. We need your assistance to help run the many parts of the Convention, and it is an excellent way to meet new friends and get involved.

For those of you who help us, we offer a very special offer. You can purchase (at cost, normal retail price 19.99 GBP) our exclusively designed Gopher T-shirt. The shirts are available at this reduced cost only to those who have completed 10 hours of work for the Convention. Above is a sneak preview of the shirt design.

So, if you want to get involved, complete the form and get it back to us as quickly as possible.

* Buy Now, Arrive Later *
If you are travelling to the Convention on public transport, we understand how difficult it can be to get your bulky purchases home. We don't want our members disposing of their existing possessions to make room for new purchases and we are therefore delighted to offer a "Buy Now, Arrive Later" service.

For a small additional charge (dependant on what is purchased) we are happy to dispatch your items via post at the end of the Convention so that they will arrive at your home shortly after you get back.

Details are available from our tables in the Dealers Room. We regret that this service is only available for Discworld Convention goods. We accept all major credit cards both online and at the Convention.

* Last Minute Hiccups... *
If you need to contact us urgently in the week before the Convention, please use these emergency numbers:

Tel: 01708 704504 Fax: 01708 705377
Mobile: 07866 457510 or 07798 566412

The telephone numbers are available only for emergencies and only during office hours. General queries should be sent via e-mail or using the normal telephone number (0709 226 4571). If this service is misused it will be withdrawn, so if your problem isn't urgent, please do not call these numbers.

* Programme Update *
The programme of events for the Convention continues to grow. We will shortly be publishing, via our Website, a provisional timetable for the whole weekend. Those of you who receive the Chronicle will also be provided with an outline of the major events so that you can start planning your weekend.

Of particular interest to some will be The Odium, where we will be showing a number of rare programme featuring Terry Pratchett and feature films of interest to all. The Odium will be open throughout the Convention for your entertainment.

Here are some other items that may be of interest:

Unseen University Summer Lecture Mark Ayling's Sculpture Workshop Breed Your Own Swamp Dragon Some of My Favourites All the World's a Stage

Be sure to check out our newly added details of the Convention theatre programme. Robert Hamilton has adapted Terry's short story The Sea and Little Fishes into a one act play for presentation at the Convention, and we are looking for a cast to perform in the production.

If you are interested in amateur dramatics, and want to put together a short performance of your favourite Discworld scene, please contact Robert to discuss if we can fit it into our programme - every effort will be made to give you a chance to perform on stage. And you never know, Terry might just be watching.

Charity the Convention

This year's Charity Auction will be the biggest ever. We have been working with many different people to gather together a wealth of Discworld items that are very rarely available to mortal fans. In a change to the normal setup, we will be producing an auction catalogue of lots so that you can see when something is due to be sold. This should allow you to pick out the items on which you really want to bid, and get there in time to do so.

Colin Smythe has raided his huge collection for some pretty spectacular items to be sold in aid of our selected charities, the Orangutan Foundation and Diabetes UK.

We will be able to accept payment by credit and debit cards, cheque or good old-fashioned cash.

* CONVENTION UPDATE - 19/07/2002 *

With just days before we converge on Leicestershire for the Convention, we are delighted to announce the release of the official Convention T-shirt, designed by Paul Kidby. The shirt, featuring a Nac Mac Feegle, can be pre-ordered for collection at the Convention or dispatch in early August.

Be sure to order early as these shirts are a limited edition and will only be available whilst stocks last. The sizes available are S, M, L, XL and XXL.

We have now completed the programme arrangements with over 100 unique programme items planned for the weekend. Our hotel team have hammered down the bar prices on beers and spirits to the lowest levels I have seen at a Discworld Convention. We are also arranging a selection of bottled ales for the discerning drinkers amongst our members. See the Website for more details.

Colin Smythe has raided his treasure trove of Discworld collectables and has donated over 50 items to the charity auction, and other Discworld personalities have also been very generous with their donations.

There is still time to join online, so get to the Website - - and book a ticket today.

We also have Convention badges and keyrings available on the Website for order now.

And, for a very limited time, whilst stocks last, we have available supplies of the first 5 Discworld diaries at prices that will blow you away. Recent sale prices of the 1998 Discworld diary on Ebay were over 20.00GBP and we have it available for just 14.50GBP (plus postage and packing). The diaries range in price from 11.99GBP to 14.50GBP.

If you want to complete your collection of these extremely sought-after items, be sure to order now. If you get through to the payment area, your order is secured.

See you at the Convention!

6. Article: Terry wins the Carnegie Medal

From Colin Smythe:

I'm delighted to say that Terry won the 2001 CILIP Carnegie Medal for THE AMAZING MAURICE AND HIS EDUCATED RODENTS.

The Award was announced at a ceremony at the British Library today. He was given the award by the Special Guest Tony Hart whose painting skills have delighted viewers of BBC TV for nigh on 50 years, who also gave the Kate Greenaway award for the best illustrated book to Chris Riddell as illustrator of Richard Platt's PIRATE DIARY. [CILIP stands for Chartered Institute of Library and Information Professionals]

From Doubleday: Terry Pratchett wins coveted Carnegie Medal

The most prestigious award for children's literature, the Carnegie Medal, has this year been awarded to one of the country's most popular novelists.

Terry Pratchett's first novel for children for five years, The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents was, today announced as the 2001 winner. At a ceremony held at The British Library, Terry Pratchett was presented with his medal by representatives from CILIP, the body responsible for administrating the award.

"Our decision was unanimous," says Karen Usher, Chair of this year's judging panel. "This is an outstanding work of literary excellence - a brilliant twist on the tale of the Pied Piper that is funny and irreverent, but also dark and subversive. It is a rich multi-layered story with a pacy plot and excellent characterisation. Terry Pratchett uses his trademark wit and humour to question our society's attitudes and behaviour in a way that is totally accessible for children of 10 years and over."

In spite of having 48 books in print and worldwide sales in excess of 27 million, this is the first mainstream literary award that Terry Pratchett has won. "I'm totally delighted and genuinely shocked," says Terry. "I'd have bet 1000GBP against me! I'm especially pleased because Maurice isn't just fantasy but funny fantasy, too. It's nice to see humour taken seriously."

Maurice is the first children's book set in Pratchett's imaginative creation Discworld. It is a story within a story; a rich satire of the well-known Pied Piper tale peopled by intelligent rats, an equally intelligent, streetwise tomcat, Maurice, and Keith 'a stupid looking kid' with a pipe. Maurice masterminds a moneymaking scam; they infest town after town and until Keith gets paid to pipe them away. All is well until they enter the beleaguered Bad Blintz where they encounter Malicia Grim, a girl who inhabits a world of fairy stories, and a dark and sinister evil - a totally new concept for the rats.

His previous books for children have enjoyed considerable best-selling success and have been shortlisted for many awards including the Carnegie Medal (1994, 1997), The Guardian Children's Fiction Award (1993, 1997), and the Children's Book Award (1997). He won the 1993 Writers Guild Award (Children's Books) for JOHNNY AND THE DEAD and in 1996 was awarded the Smarties Prize Silver Award (9-11 age category) for JOHNNY AND THE BOMB in 1996.

DWM would like to extend our congratulations to Terry.

7. The End

* Contact Information *

We prefer information to be sent via email, but can accept information via fax or post at the following addresses:

Post: J Anthony-Rowlands (DWM), 20 Cambrian Place, Pontarddulais, Swansea, SA4 8RG

* Latest Book Information *

The latest Discworld book released in paperback was Thief of Time 0552148407/87 and the last hardback was The Last Hero (with illustrations by Paul Kidby). 057506885X/87

Terry's latest non Discworld book was The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents 0385601239/87 and his latest collaboration is The Science of Discworld II: The Globe 0091882737/87

The next Discworld novel due for release in November 2002 will be called Night Watch and will star Sam Vimes. 0385602642/87

* Subscription Information *

To subscribe to 'Discworld Monthly' simply enter your email address in the form on the 'Discworld Monthly' web page. Our web site contains all back issues and links to other Pratchett sites.

Current circulation approximately 21000

To unsubscribe simply send an empty email from the account you subscribed under to

If you have any problems unsubscribing visit our removal help page.

* Birthday Trivia Results *

What medication does the Bursar take?
Dried frog pills

What, according to the song, is distinctive about a wizard's staff?
It has a knob on the end

Name Ankh-Morpork's premier entrepreneur.
Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler

Where do the undead drink in Ankh-Morpork?

With what animal is Offler usually associated?
The crocodile

* Obtaining Terry's Books *

If you are looking for Terry books or videos over the net, simply visit our web page at and follow the 'Purchasing' link on the left panel of the page.

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