Better Than

Discworld Monthly - Issue 89: September 2004

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. DiscTrivia
5. Discworld Stamps
6. Competitions
7. The Heraldry Of The Disc - Part 2 of 2
8. Review: Life Size Nac Mac Feegle Clan
9. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 89. I've just got back from spending the weekend with around seven-hundred other Discworld Fans at the 2004 Discworld Convention at the Hanover International at Hinckley, Leicestershire. The Convention was a lot of fun but I could do with sleeping for a week to recover. Look out for a full review of the event next month.

Next month's issue will be a bit late because I will be on holiday at the end of September / beginning of October. Hopefully it should delayed by less than a week.

I would like to apologize in advanced if I have forgotten to mention something in this issue that I promised at the Convention. Please blame it on all the cider consumed over the weekend.

I spent quite a lot of the Convention helping to get some wonderful items for the upcoming Wadfest charity auction. Details will appear on the Wadfest website soon. Tickets are still available for Wadfest and can be obtained via

Jason Anthony (Editor)
Richard Massey (Deputy Editor)
William Barnett (El, Gringo)

2. News

Bursar Vixen have introduced a new beer to celebrate 21 years of Discworld. The 21st Discworld beer along with all their other beers and Nanny Ogg's Scumble can be found at

Bursar Vixen now also have a range of glasses to drink your beer from that are also available on their web site. are looking to swap links. If you want to link to them, simply send an email to stating your URL and details will be sent with links for both and

Terry Pratchett: Guilty of Literature in a revised expanded second edition will be available at the end of the month at the World SF Convention where Terry is one of the Guests of Honour.

The publisher page can be found at:

Ankh-Morpork Post Office (Wincanton Branch). There will be a grand opening of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office, and Hogswatch Fayre, On Saturday 11th and Sunday 12th December 2004. Events include: Traditional sausage supper, Pin Market, a signing of parts, Games & other seasonal diversions as are allowed in the bye-laws.

Details can be found at

According to Transworld's web site Terry will be signing at the following locations in September / October.

29th SepTalk & Signing organised by Foyle's Institute of Education, University of London, Bedford Way London 020 7437 5660
5th Oct12:00Borders (Bristol), Borders 0117 922 6959
5th Oct18:00WHSmith (Swindon), Swindon 01793 531342
6th Oct13:00Ottakars (Edinburgh, George St), 57/59 George Street Edinburgh 0131 225 4495
6th Oct18:00Borders (Glasgow), 98 Buchanan Street Glasgow 0141 222 7700
7th Oct17:00Waterstones (Manchester, St Ann's Sq), 2-4 St Ann's Square Manchester 0161 832 0424
8th Oct11:45Borders (York), 1-5 Davygate York 01904 653300
8th Oct18:00Waterstones (Hull), Grand Buildings, Jameson Street Hull 01482 580234
9th Oct12:30WHSmith (Nottingham), 14-16 Listergate Nottingham 0115 9582919

Discworld Dates...

This section will contain events that you need to keep in your diary. Entries will remain until they go out of date. New entries will include the word [New] next to them. If this section gets too large we will start pruning entries.

Sudbury Dramatic Society based at The Quay Theatre in Sudbury, Suffolk are about to pay a return visit to the Discworld to perform Carpe Jugulum after their successful previous ventures there with Mort and Wyrd Sisters. Production dates are Tuesday 7th to Saturday 11th September at 7.45pm with a matinee on Saturday 11th September at 2.30pm. Tickets are available now from the Box Office on 01787 374745. Visit the SDS website at

Clarecraft who live just down the road from the Sudbury Dramatic Society will be brining a display of their Discworld merchandise to the theatre on the Friday (10th) and Saturday (11th), which will be on sale and they will be donating a raffle prize. More details from

Wadfest, the camping weekend run by fans for fans, takes place from Friday 17th September and winds up on Sunday 19th and promises to be bigger than ever. Be prepared to become a troll or a dwarf for Live Thud and the Koom Valley battle re-enactment. There will be things to buy, things to paint, lots of things for the kiddies to do such as Luggage Wars. Dressing up as Discworld folks is encouraged among children of ALL ages and prizes given for the best!

Callow Top campsite is a luxurious place with showers, hairdryers, washing up sinks, a swimming pool and laundrette, a shop and a pub.

The cost of the whole weekend is just 12.50 GBP, kids come free unless in separate tent. (5 GBP per child's tent). Visit to book or to get more info plus pictures of previous Wadfests or call Waddy on 0115 849 1537.

[NEW] Unseen Theatre Company will be performing the Australian premiere of Night Watch from 15th-30th October as the Backhouse Theatre, 255 Angas Street, Adelaide. All performances start at 8pm and tickets cost 15 AUD for adults, 12 AUD for concession and 10 AUD for groups of ten or more. There is also a Thai Hutt dinner deal for 30 AUD which includes meal and ticket.

To book call 82962004 (7 days, 7am to 7pm). More details are available at

The New Stagers Theatre Club based in Wandsworth, South-West London, will be staging Guards! Guards! at St. Ann's Church Hall on Wednesday 20th to Saturday 23rd October 2004 at 7.45 pm. Visit for details.

[NEW] The Woodhouse Players will be performing Wyrd Sisters at the Welsh Church Hall in Leytonstone, East London on October 26th - 30th. Doors at 7.30 each evening, and matinees on 29th and 30th at 2.30. Tickets are 6 GBP (there are also concession prices) and have to be booked in advance (with actual payment on the door) due to the licence set up. For more details and bookings please go to

Stafford Players will be staging Carpe Jugulum from 10th-13th November 2004.

The play will be performed at The Stafford Gatehouse, Eastgate Street, Stafford, and tickets are available from the Stafford Gatehouse Box Office - Tel (01785) 254653.

Ticket costs are 7.50 GBP (6.00 GBP concs.) with a special "3 for 2" offer on the first night.

Further info from

Colsterworth Music and Drama society are performing Wyrd Sisters on 12th and 13th November 2004 at their spacious village hall. Tickets will be on sale in September. You can pre-order tickets by emailing - any other queries can be sent to the same address.

The Longueville Little Theatre Company is producing Wyrd Sisters at the Jennie Lee Theatre in Bletchley, Milton Keynes from 24th to the 27th November 2004. Tickets are available from the box office tel. no. 01908 613145, and cost 6.50 GBP each. Further details are available on

[NEW] Crossfyre Young Theatricals Ipswich, Queensland, Australia, are doing their performance of Mort on 30 November - 2 December 2004. Crossfyre is a drama group for 13-18 year old thespians, linked to the Ipswich Little Theatre. For more information about Crossfyre or Mort, anyone interested can send me an email on this address

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Chrissie Duffy writes: Sorry to bother you but I have found a copy (unused) of the collectors editions 2002 calendar. Unused because I bought it 2001 when we were living in rented accommodation due to a bad house fire. My loving husband packed it up safe - so safe we could not find it when we moved back in before the end of 2001.

Peter Duhig ; writes: I am proposing to put on a production of 'Maskerade' next April here in Downham Market, Norfolk. I would be happy to hear from anyone that has had experience of directing this production with any tips. Also anyone interested in seeing it! Bit far ahead yet I know but early planning & all that.

Mark Swift ; writes: In March 2005 I will be walking from John O'Groats to Lands End in 21 Days to raise much needed money for the Orangutan Foundation.

My aim is to walk an average of 50 miles a day with a one day break half way through to rejuvenate.

I am trying to drum up support from companies and organisations both nationally and internationally.

I plan on doing interviews for local newspapers and radio stations and will mention sponsors and helpers as often as possible during these interviews. I am aiming for some news coverage both now and at the time of the event in the local news and maybe even the national news if I can get enough support.

Daniel Deitch ; writes: I am looking for a copy of From the Discworld by Dave Gleenslade. If you have a spare copy please get in touch.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters or comments, please email them to

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters out of sheer desperation.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

The best letter of the month will receive a Kiss the Cook print supplied by Bonsai Trading. Bonsai Trading is the Discworld store that brings you Clarecraft figurines, diaries & calendars, Thud and much more.

* From: "Daniel Kilburn" ;
Those who are looking to start or want to complete a collection of the Unseen leather bound editions of Terry's books should head to Huddersfield where at the time of this message they had three copies of Equal Rites and one copy of The Light Fantastic all for the bargain price of 3.99 GBP - YES THATS RIGHT 3.99 GBP.

It was opposite Wilkensons and called the Yorkshire Book Society NEAR THE TOWN HALL (or along those lines but definitely had Yorkshire Books in the title and was opposite the Wilkensons)

* From: "Neil Warrington" ;
Re: Yael Loton's letter last month.

Checkout the annotated Pratchett file for Wyrd Sisters at the LSpace web site located at

* From: "Stephen Dunn" ;
To get the long-s character, for any standard windows program, you should be able to get it by holding down Alt while typing 0131 on the numeric keyboard (then release Alt). Many of the fonts (though not all) have this character available.

* From: Mark Hughes Cobb ;
I'm an American writer with one toe in the theatrical world, interested in doing a little missionary work for Discworld (and having a good time in the process).

My question: Which of the Discworld play adaptations can you recommend for a small theatrical group? (bearing in mind that my little group has little money for props, sets, costumes or snacks; also bearing in mind that most Americans have never heard of, much less read about or enjoyed, Discworld, so that this show would have to do a good bit of introduction and exposition).

* From: "Andi Sharp" ;
I was recently watching a program about the Nebra Sky Disc which was found in Germany in 1999.

One of the theories regarding the purpose of this bronze age disc is that it could have been used as a kind of portable stone circle. I immediately thought of the 'kneetops' mentioned in Soul Music and checked the date of publication.

Soul Music was written in 1994 and the sky disc found in 1999 so it seems that not only does TP find the most obscure references to scatter into his books, as well as the obvious ones, but now he seems to be foreseeing them. :))

* From: "Thranduil Greenleaf" ;
While reading Horrible Christmas by Terry Deary (not our dear Mister Pratchett) I came across a reference to a Stone of Scone. Apparently Scone was a place in Scotland and the Stone was used to crown the kings of Scotland on. But it was later stolen by the English and put in a museum. Ring any bells, Fifth-Elephant readers?

* From:
I'm turning to you because I am having little luck on the endless web searches that I have put myself through. I once appeared as Agnes Nitt in a production of Carpe Jugulum and would love to be Agnes again. As an amateur dramatics luvvie, I am willing to force everyone I know into loving Terry as much as I do in order to don the padding and pointy hat once more. Now, my question is, who do I have to talk to/cajol/bribe to be able to do my own adaptation of Maskerade for the stage? It can't be as simple as just doing it and acknowledging Terry as the genius behind the original work, can it?

DWM replies: You need to contact Stephen Briggs with details of what you are planning to do because he has the rights to most of the Discworld plays. You can find out more at

* From: "Saurio" ;
I just added a review of the Spanish version of Soul Music in La Idea Fija, the literary webzine I edit and publish.

Of course, everything is in Spanish, briefly it tells what the novel is about, praises somehow the labour of the translator (it's getting better every edition).

The review can be found at

There is also a Terry Pratchett Special at

* From: "David Lev" ;
I'd like to report another possible reference to Discworld.

Warning, for those of you who haven't read this book and wish to read it, this should contain a SPOILER. In the Magic the Gathering book the Fifth Dawn, at the very end, the planeswalker Karn asks Slobad the goblin if he is sure he wants to give up his planeswalker spark to save the inhabitants of his planet. He then mentions several wonders he has seen as a planeswalker, which he could show Slobad before making a final decision, one of which is "planes as flat as a serving dish that ride on the back of giant reptiles". I realize this could be another planet, but I feel the author (Cory Herndon) was trying to reference the Discworld.

Also, I have just discovered exactly why the ...umm... guild of the ladies of negotiable affection in Ankh Morpork is called the Seamstress' Guild. Apparently, in medieval times in certain parts of Europe, needles were a symbol of sexual experience (as opposed to pins, a symbol of maidenhood), which had something to do with "threading the needle". Anyway, because of this, prostitutes often wore needles stuck into their sleeves to advertise their profession.

In case anyone is interested, I got this from the "Folkroots" column of the most recent issue of Realms of Fantasy (the August 2004 issue, the one with Kiera Knightly on the cover), and the Folroots is on the original version and meaning of Red Riding Hood, a story which originally involved no red items of clothing, certainly not riding hoods, but did involve cannibalism, cruelty to animals, child rape (almost), public defecation and death by drowning, which just shows you it's a kids' story.

DWM replies: David gets this month's Letter of the Month.

4. DiscTrivia

This month we continue our series of trivia based on quotes. We provide the quote and you need to guess the character and novel. We would like to thank Peter McElwee for researching and organising these questions.

Those wizards, always smoking something

Do you really think you're the first my girl?

I've been living my life for a long time. I know how it works.

Go on, die. Take the easy way out.

At least let me give you a big wet sloppy kiss

The results, as always, appear at the end of this issue.

5. Discworld Stamps

Bernard "The Cunning Artificer" tells us about the new range of Discworld Stamps produced as a result of the next Discworld novel Going Postal.

As with everything we produce, in the beginning was the word, and these Postage Stamps are no different.

You've only to read "Going Postal" to realize the degree of collaboration. As Terry was writing the book, so I was suggesting ideas and producing drawings. Some of the images were suggested by Terry and others resulted from deep and meaningful consultations over a pint or two. We consulted print historians, philatelists, stamp dealers and museums to get the design and production right.

From my rough sketches and layouts Colin Edwards, who knows the print game inside out, and is a bit of a lad with a Mac, knew a man who could wield a mean quill called Alan Batley. They could do all the things I couldn't and between us we created the stamps you see today.

It was thanks to the rather splendid Bath Postal Museum I found the last ever, lineal perforator. It dates from Victorian times, and with our help they have got it working again. That's the good part; the bad part is that this machine like so many of its era does not work on electricity. In fact it's leg power, just like a treadle sewing machine. Not only that, the single sheets of stamps have to be fed in by hand, and lined up by eye. Not just once of course, but for every line of perforation at each side of the stamp. The majority of the stamps have been produced in the traditional manner, on old fashioned gummed paper, by a very old and respected company who normally print stamps for entire countries rather than a small outfit in Somerset.

The First series of DISCWORLD STAMPS are:

The 50p Cabbage Green has been produced as an exclusive for Waterstones. You might get one of those on their exclusive first day cover for 'Going Postal'.

Hidden Gems

As with all forms of collecting, there has to be something left to chance, and something to find.

The stamps that are hand perforated are by their very nature rare. It's a long-winded process, and the chances of cocking up a sheet of stamps are great.

A few stamps of all denominations have been put through this process, but the $1 Tower of Art, and the $5 Blue Triangle, are exclusively hand perforated.

It is within these very short run stamps that you will get the little 'sports' that make collecting such.... 'fun'

In the coming weeks a new web site will be coming live. The site will offer a swop shop and some of the stamps can be purchased for as little as 20p plus postage.

There are plans for a stamp book, a quarterly journal and Terry has already written about some new stamps that will be introduced at Christmas.

6. Competitions

* Nac Mac Feegle T-Shirt Competition *

Last month we had an extra large Nac Mac Feegle T-shirt created by Paul Kidby to give away. The T-shirt depicts several Nac Mac Feegles charging in to battle in silhouette. You can see this and many other T-shirts at

We asked you the following question.

Q. How much does this T-shirt cost from

The correct answer was 15 GBP which every entry got right. The randomly selected winner was Liz Till of Wednesbury, West Midlands. Your t-shirt will soon be in the post to you.

7. The Heraldry Of The Disc - Part 2 of 2

by David Woodall ;

As far as colours are concerned, the normal Metals (or = gold, argent = silver or white) and Tinctures (gules = red, purpure = purple etc) are all present and correct in Disc heraldry, but they also have additional ones including gris (grey) and metal gris (steel grey). The Stains - tenne (tawny orange) and sanguine (blood red) - do not seem to be used; nor is there evidence thus far for the use of furs (ermine, vair etc). The Roundworld rules concerning colours do not seem to apply on Discworld; in English heraldry one cannot normally have colour on colour, or metal on metal (though there are a few exceptions, such as the Royal Arms which have azure - blue - and gules together). There are a number of Arms extent on Discworld, however, which break this rule, including those of the Assassins, Alchemists and those of Ankh-Morpork.

The system of lines of partition (divisions of the shield), ordinaries (geometric patterns and shapes), sub-ordinaries and honourable ordinaries (other shapes and charges) seem to be in essence the same as in Roundworld heraldry, although there are restrictions on animals (no weasels) that do not exist here. The fact that the Vimes Arms were completely invalidated suggests that Abatements (marks of dishonour) are not used by the AMC - nor are they by the RCA. Marks of Cadency/Difference (to differentiate between sons etc) are not recorded, though this is not surprising since most of the recorded arms have been Civic in nature.

Helms, Crowns and Coronets used to surmount the shield as badges of rank are only known from one example, the arms of Edward St. John de Nobbes, Earl of Ankh. This bears a five-barred helm affronty (a helmet with a five-barred visor facing the front) topped with an earl's coronet. There are some examples of crests - the Morpork and Ankh of the Civic Arms of Ankh-Morpork, for example, and the fish-shaped oil lamp of Arthur Carry. Mottoes seem to come as standard - every known Discworld Achievement of Arms bears one. This has more in common with Scottish than English heraldry. These are normally rendered into Latatian, the ancient language of Ankh-Morpork, in the same way that Roundworld mottoes are commonly in Latin, though French and English are also used. Indeed, the whole language of heraldry is worth noting. In English heraldry, the language is based on a mixture of English and Old French. The AMC uses a similar mixture of 'English' (presumably Morporkian) and 'French' (Klatchian or Genuan). There are only two Achievements known to have Supporters - Ankh-Morpork, which has the familiar Heraldic Hippos, and de Nobbes, which has a hippo and a bull.

The use of Canting (heraldic punning) is alive and well in the AMC, as one would expect in a world where use of the Pune, or Play on Words is widespread. One of the best known examples is on the Vimes Arms, which includes a stone bust in the Third (bottom left) Quarter for Old Stoneface, and a bunch of grapes (vine) for Vimes in the Second (top right) Quarter.

Gazetteer of Achievements of Arms recorded in the Discworld:

Alchemists' Guild
Assassins' Guild
Beggars' Guild [*2]
Carry, Arthur
Conjurers' Guild
De Magpyr family
De Nobbes, St. John, Earl of Ankh
Dibbler, C.M.O.T.
Embalmers' Guild
Engravers' and Printers' Guild
Fools' Guild
Gamblers' Guild
Klatchian Foreign Legion (badge only)
Merchants' Guild
Mortimer, Duke of Sto Helit
Musicians' Guild
Plumbers' Guild
Potts, Rudolph
Ramkin Family
Seamstresses' Guild
Sock, Gerhardt
Sto Helit, Duke of [*3]
Strippers' Guild
Thieves' Guild
Uberwald (Unholy Empire)
Unseen University
Vetinari family
Vimes family
Von Uberwald family
Watch, Ankh-Morpork City (badge only)

Presumably the other great families of the Disc - the Venturis, Rusts, de Wordes and so on - bear Arms, but they are not as yet recorded (although the de Worde motto is known to be 'Le Mot Juste', another pune).

David Woodall (Self-appointed) Morpork Herald Extraordinary.

Sources: Pratchett, Terry, Feet of Clay; Pratchett, Terry, and Briggs, Stephen, The New Discworld Companion; Slater, Stephen, The Illustrated Book of Heraldry; Pastoureau, Michel, Heraldry: Its Origins and Meaning.


*2 Previously held by another, now unknown - since the arms are
reminiscent of a former version of the Royal Arms of England, we may speculate that they were once the Arms of the Ankh-Morpork Royal Family.

*3 Predecessor to Mort, name unknown.

8. Review: Life Size Nac Mac Feegle Clan

Aurient Traders sent me a complete set of, seven, life sized Nac Mac Feegles to review as well a three Discworld character heads (which I will review next month). Don't worry if you haven't heard of Aurient Traders - you wouldn't be alone. Aurient Traders are the official importers of the Nac Mac Feegle; the Discworld character heads and the boxed version of Thud. All these products are available The Cunning Artificer's in Wincanton or via Bernard's web site at

The Nac Mac Feegle set compromises: Rob Anybody; William the Gonnagle; Not-As-Big-As-Medium-Sized-Jock-But-Bigger-Than-Wee-Jock- Jock; Big Yan; Hamish; Fion and Daft Wullie.

Rob Anybody was originally created a couple of years ago and as a result of his success the others were created. There will only ever be 2000 sets of The Nac Mac Feegle.

The Nac Mac Feegles were originally designed and sculpted by Paul Kidby so if you have seen the UK cover to The Wee Free Men you will know some of what to expect.

The pieces often relate to scenes from The Wee Free Men. Daft Wullie, for example, is captured holding an enormous egg and is based on the scene where Tiffany discovers him in the hen house - hiding under a hen. To get this piece to stand up without falling over must have taken some time.

Hamish comes complete with Tiffany's bloomers strapped on his back and his bird whistle in hand; William the Gonnagle is captured playing the impressive mice pipes; Big Yan looks rather scary and Not-As-Big-As-Medium-Sized-Jock-But-Bigger-Than-Wee-Jock-Jock is caught mid recital.

As you would expect from Paul Kidby the details captured are superb, you could almost imagine these models are about to get up and walk away. The painting helps to highlight the wonderful detail and gives the Feegles a sense of life.

The Feegle models are not pretty, but that is much of their charm. With broken noses and red eyes, unknowing relatives might wonder what possesses you own such figurines, but for the collector these are a must have set.

The pricing of the Feegle models range from 40 GBP to 50 GBP + P&P. Rob Anybody is also available in a bronze finish for 70 GBP + P&P.

For more information about the Feegles (including pictures) and the opportunity to own a set visit Bernard's on-line store at or via

9. The End

* Contact Information *

We prefer information to be sent via email, but can accept information via fax or post at the following addresses:

Post: J Anthony-Rowlands (DWM), 20 Cambrian Place, Pontarddulais, Swansea, SA4 8RG

* Latest Book Information *

Discworld paperback: Night Watch 0552148997/87

Discworld hardback: Monstrous Regiment 0385603401/87

Next Discworld hardback: Going Postal - October 2004-07-13 0385603428/87

New Discworld Young Adult: A Hat Full of Sky 0385607369/87

Current Discworld Young Adult: The Wee Free Men 0385605331/87

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* Disc Trivia Results *

Those wizards, always smoking something
Casanunda (the world's 2nd greatest lover) Lords and Ladies

Do you really think you're the first my girl?
Granny Weatherwax, Equal Rights

I've been living my life for a long time. I know how it works.
Rincewind, The Last Hero

Go on, die. Take the easy way out.
Twoflower, The Light Fantastic

At least let me give you a big wet sloppy kiss
Darleen (one of the "girls" from Petunia, The Desert Princess) The Last Continent

* Obtaining Terry's Books *

If you are looking for Terry books or videos over the net, simply visit our web page at and follow the 'Purchasing' link on the left panel of the page.

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