Better Than

Discworld Monthly - Issue 92: December 2004

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. DiscTrivia
5. Stamps and Prawns from the Cunning Artificer
6. Competitions
7. BursarVixen Enterprises - Countdown to Hogswatch
8. Bonsai Trading - Site Update
9. Review - Discworld Almanak 2005
10. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 92 and the last issue of 2004, the year that Discworld came of age.

I doubt 21 years ago when he wrote "In a distant and second-hand set of dimensions, in an astral plane that was never meant to fly, the curling star-mists waver and part...", Terry Pratchett had any idea what wheels he had set in motion.

We should raise a glass (or several) to the fact that he did indeed write that wonderful introduction and created the Discworld.

We hope you all have amazing end of year celebrations and hope you all come back to join us in the new year. Happy Hogswatch!

Jason Anthony (Editor)
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Magic Master)

2. News

Wadfest have just opened their new 2005 web site, more information at

News from Colin Smythe:

Terry has just finished his New Zealand and Australian tour, and has returned home where he is presently recovering from jetlag, in time for a 21st anniversary lunch to the day - as far as I can work out - of the official publication of the Colin Smythe Ltd edition of THE COLOUR OF MAGIC on 24 November 1983 (copies were on sale before this date - as they were in the US - but that was the day the reviewers were given).

The manuscript of the third Science of Discworld book, DARWIN'S WATCH, is about to be handed over to Ebury Press for publication next June.


Next July HarperCollins will be publishing hardback editions (trade and library editions) of ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND, the first time this book will have been published in the States - apart from a SF Bookclub edition containing all three Johnny Maxwell titles, published in 1999.

Germany. Following the acquisition of Heyne by Random House, and opposition from the book trade, Random House was required to divest itself of the Heyne Fantasy list which was acquired by Piper Verlag (part of the Bonnier group), who have had an extremely complicated time sorting out the contractual situations for many of the titles. As a result of the transfer all the Heyne Pratchett titles, including the SCIENCE OF DISCWORLD volumes, will now be republished under the Piper imprint - the first, Die Gelehrten der Scheibenwelt (with its Josh Kirby cover), has already been published.

Italy: Salani/TEA are buying FEET OF CLAY, and Kappa Edizioni are taking GUARDS! GUARDS! THE BIG COMIC.

Poland: Proszynski will be issuing the (REFORMED) VAMPYRE DIARY for 2005, and are contracting to take JINGO, HOGFATHER and THE LAST CONTINENT

Finland: Karisto are taking a licence on TRUCKERS, and having published THE AMAZING MAURICE in hardcover are going to publish it in paperback, but I do not have publication dates as yet.

Psychogios will be publishing the Greek editions of Terry's books in future, starting with WYRD SISTERS and THE AMAZING MAURICE

There will the first ever German Discworld camping event on the 1st to 3rd July 2005 in Southern Germany. More details of the event available soon. German speaking fans can find more information from

Daniel Knight writes: Terry Visits the Discworld. We love saying that. Okay, sure... Troll Bridge is a fan film - but it's a bloody good fan film! Well, at least it will be! If we can finish the damned thing. Recently on his Australian tour, Terry took some time out to visit us and have a private screening of what we've assembled thus far for the first ever Discworld film - and now a report of that very screening is online for all to read and enjoy! And with photos too! Gee we spoil you guys...

Discworld Dates...

This section will contain events that you need to keep in your diary. Entries will remain until they go out of date. New entries will include the word [New] next to them. If this section gets too large we will start pruning entries.

[New] West Cheshire College presents Guards, Guards from Wednesday 1 December to Thursday 2 December at 1.30pm & 7.30pm. Tickets cost 6 GBP, concessions 4 GBP.

[New] Lancaster University Theatre Group will be performing 'Wyrd Sisters' in the Nuffield Theatre, Lancaster University Campus, on the 1st, 2nd & 3rd December 2004 at 6.30 pm. Tickets 6 GBP / 4 GBP concessions. 'Wyrd Sisters' will be performed as part of a double bill with Ben Elton's 'Popcorn'. Buy a ticket for Wyrd Sisters, get one for Popcorn 1/2 price!

Box office: 01524 594 151 (24 hour), 07810082832 (text),

For more information visit

CAA will be presenting their own Terry Pratchett authorised adaptation of Witches Abroad between 9th and 11 December 2004.

The show takes place at the MADCAP Theatre, Wolverton, Milton Keynes, and tickets can be booked via their box office on 01908 320179. Ticket costs are 8.00 GBP (5.00 GBP concs.) The curtain goes up at 7.30pm and there is also a 2.30pm matinee show on the Saturday.

Further information is available from its dedicated website -

Ankh-Morpork Post Office (Wincanton Branch). There will be a grand opening of the Ankh-Morpork Post Office, and Hogswatch Fayre, On Saturday 11th and Sunday 12th December 2004. Events include: Traditional sausage supper, Pin Market, a signing of parts, Games & other seasonal diversions as are allowed in the by-laws.

Details can be found at

Unicorn Theatre, in which Stephen Briggs performs and directs, will be presenting the first ever production of Going Postal from 25 to 29 January at 7.30 (2.30 matinee on 29/1) at Unicorn Theatre, Thames Street, Abingdon.

Tickets are 7 GBP from

The New Dawn Theatre Company, Sponsored by Rowland's Music (Swansea) will be presenting Wyrd Sisters at the Theatre Elli, Llanelli, Wales on the 9th, 10th 11th February 2005. Doors open at 7:30 and tickets cost 5.00 GBP.

[New] The Westoning Players, located 2 miles east of Junction 12 off the M1, will be staging a production of Mort on 31st March, 1st and 2nd April 2005.

All are welcome to auditions on Thursday 9th December 2004 at 19.30, for rehearsals starting in January 2005. For more details visit their website at

[New] Unseen Theatre Company will be performing Interesting Times from March 17th to April 2nd at the Backhouse Theatre, 255 Angas St. Adelaide. Auditions (for the large cast) take place on 5th December at 3pm. More information at

The 2005 Clarecraft Event will take place on 29th - 31st July 2005 at its usual venue of Warren Farm. The theme of the event will be Monstrous Regiment. Details will soon appear at

Wadfest 2005 will take place over the weekend of the 2nd to 5th September 2005 at a new campsite. More details can be found at the Wadfest website

[New] The First Australian Discworld Convention will take place in Melbourne Australia from 20th-22nd January 2006. More details can be located at

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Ziv Wities writes: Hello all PTerry fans, and particularly those in Israel... I'm taking part in a Jerusalem playreading group (i.e. a group of people who gather to read plays together, which generally is a bit simpler then actually putting on a real production). We're always looking for new plays to bring to the group, and I think one of the Discworld dramatizations would be a whole lot of fun. Is there any Israeli out there with any of the Discworld plays, that might be willing to lend his copy out for a week for this Most Noble Purpose? An Israeli with a copy who'd like to participate in the playreading is even more welcome.

Klaas Visser writes: The Dutch Amateur acting company Dico, Dico, Dico is looking for players. We are a new group, focussing solely on fantasy plays. Our first play will be Terry Pratchett's Mort, and we are still in need of players for both main roles and smaller parts. We are situated in Den Bosch and will rehearse on Sundays, probably starting in January. If you want to know more, please contact us.

Elizabeth Hartley writes: I am a student at Bournemouth Arts Institute studying for a BA (Hons) in Costume Design.

As part of my course I have to write a dissertation. I am researching the use of costume to humanise the non human characters in fantasy novels and also how it helps characterise all the characters. I want to look closely at Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings' because of the films and also Pratchett's Discworld novels because they are all increadably good and Pratchett comes at fantasy from a different angle than Tolkien. I will concentrate on the witches books as I have read them the most and also have found illustrations for them easier to come by.

I was hoping that you would be able to help me, I have looked through the back issues of the Discworld Monthly and at Paul Kidby's web site but am struggling to find the decent helpful fan sites in the giant melee of rubbish that is out there and I hoped that you may be able to give me a few addresses or any help at all with information about the witches books, primarily 'Wyrd Sisters' and 'Lords and Ladies'.

Thank you for your help.

Mike writes: I have two Clarecraft models I need to get a new home. One is DW57 - Death in the kitchen and the other is DW 105 - Detritus. Dont know how much they are worth but people can make me offers via this email address. Thankyou for your time.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters or comments, please email them to

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters tum ti-tum ti-tum.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

The best letter of the month will receive a Kiss the Cook print supplied by Bonsai Trading. Bonsai Trading is the Discworld store that brings you Clarecraft figurines, diaries & calendars, Thud and much more.

* From: "John Kusalavage"
I thoroughly enjoyed Going Postal. I rank it among PTerry's best novels, along with The Fifth Elephant or The Truth.

In the book, the century we now live in is referred to as "the century of the anchovy". I have a clear memory of a reference in an earlier book to "the century of the rat" as the century following the century of the fruitbat. I think it was one of the City Watch novels in which this appeared.

Does anybody else remember as I do?

* From: "Steven D'Aprano"
On Friday 29 October 2004 04:41, Jason Anthony wrote:

>> DWM replies: Whilst we agree it is great fun reading Terry's
>> books may we suggest that reading other authors can be fun too.

I beg to differ. I've actually started recommending people that they *don't* read him.

I've found that since I've been reading PTerry, my ability to enjoy other fiction, especially fantasy, has plummeted. There are a couple of exceptions, such as the delightful tales of a China that never was by Barry Hughart, Stephen King, Neal Stephenson, and one or two others. Alas for me, books about boy wizards and magic schools are not some of the exceptions.

PTerry has great insight into human nature and society, his stories are not only deep and meaningful but they rock too, he is never pretentious or faux-intellectual, but despite keeping his feet firmly anchored in human nature and reality, he manages to soar into the heights of fantasy. Even his use of cliches has a refreshing twist to it. And his jokes are not just lame puns but real humour based on personality and wit. I can't say the same for many other authors.

So I tell people, if you want to read a master-craftsman who assembles words as well as a really well-assembled thing so that other writers seem boring, stodgy and tedious, than read PTerry, but if you like to read lots of authors, then avoid Terry Pratchett like a tentacled thing from a Dungeon Dimension.

DWM replies: Boy wizards? Magic Schools? It'll never catch on.

* From: "EEE"
I remember that several months ago I got a recommendation re Tom Holt from one of your past issues (?). I have enjoyed the books of his that I have read and am collecting them now in addition to TP. I sort of remember that there were also other authors recommended, but I did not note them at the time. Are authors of similar bent / travel listed somewhere on your site?

DWM replies: You could try Mr D'Aprano's recommendations above or check out our back issues at

* From: "Dave Owen"
Last month you ran my small ad for my Clarecraft collection, which was duely sold to Jon.

Unfortunately despite packaging securely in bubble wrap, paper and good strong boxes and sending by special delivery Jon has still received a lot of damaged figures to the extent of 1000+ GBP of compensation to be claimed from the postal insurance.

Lesson to be learned - do NOT trust your Clarecraft figures to the Royal Mail. If selling fragile items meet the purchaser and hand over the goods personally.

* From: "Chris Medcalf"
RE: Blouse's mare's name

One reference shows 'Thallus: Latin, green stalk, from Greek thallos, from thallein, to sprout.'

So, sprouthead? (I wonder what Robert Rankin thinks of that one!)

* From: "Susan Kimber"
I don't like William de Worde full stop. He is smug and self-satisfied. I would like to see him try to interview Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg: That would bring him down a peg or two!! I just wanted to share that with someone. Why when I know how popular Terry Pratchett is, do none of my friends and relations share my enthusiasm for his books?

* From: "Tingel"
At the underground platforms at Duesseldorf Central (that's in Germany) they've got infoscreens to entertain the passengers waiting for their trains. Besides news and ads they also feature quotations from famous persons such as Thomas Mann, Tolstoi, Goethe. So I was standing there today, waiting for my train to arrive when I read this (translated): 'Inside of every old person, there's a young one wondering what has happened to them.' I had to smile a little and then I saw who was being quoted. Yes, you guessed right! In really big letters: Terry Pratchett. That just shows how TP becomes more and more part of general knowledge.

WB replies: I envy the guys who get to sit around doing nothing but digging up quites for the information service all day. Does it pay well, do you know?

* From: "Robert Hartle"
Did you guys know that the next Discworld book will be about the Guards? I asked Mr Pratchett when I was getting my copy of 'Going Postal' signed. Good news I think!

DWM replies: All we know about the next book is that it called Thud. I am sure more information will filter its way though as we get closer to publication.

* From: "Isabel Hunt"
My computer has been all cafooey lately so I've not been able to put up my tribute to the great man, but I think his hard work at the Borders signing in Glasgow deserves recognition! My spirit sunk on arrival as I headed to the top (4th) floor, where the signing was being held, only to have to follow the queue down flight after flight of stairs, eventually ending up in the subbasement! It was already getting on for 7 (he was booked 7-8) when I arrived so I felt it was pretty unlikely that I would ever get to see Terry, but I was willing to try! Mr Pratchett was due to sign books for an hour. After about 2 hours my mum told me that poor Terry was asking for ice to sooth his hand, yet still he stayed and finished off the signing! I didn't reach him for a further 35 minutes, and I reckon that there was still a good half hour left in that queue, the end of which had only just reached the top floor. All the way up I was sure he would have to leave, but he didn't and I now have a beautiful signed book of Going Postal! So a great big cheer and Mexican wave for the marvellous man! Woohoo!

* From: "Walker Martin"
Wading around the Net today, I came across an interview with Terry in an Australian magazine called The Age. In the interview to publicise Going Postal (fantastic if you didn't know), Terry let slip the name of his next book.... Thud! By way of a sneak preview, he reveals the opening line: " 'Thud! That was the noise the body made when it hit the ground'."

At the end of the interview was a quote I am not happy having read, but in the interest of journalism I shall share it with you.

* Pratchett's Discworld output has been running at almost two a year for the past 17 years. But a recent heart operation has lead him to take things a little steadier. "It is a kind of warning to pace things a little bit."

* Will Discworld ever come to an end? "No ending is planned. (But) it will cease at some point."

* Millions of people may have just had their day ruined.

Oh dear. If you want to read the whole interview, the link is:

* From: "Carolyn Buckle"
I need a bit of Discworld help from my friends in the real world. Due to an horrendous domestic issue, all of my beautiful Bernard Pearson Discworld buildings appear to have gone missing. I had the original Unseen University, Lancre Castle (signed by Terry in silver pen), the Watch House, the Seamstresses, Fools & Assassins Guild houses, and the Wandering Shops. There may have been one or two other pieces as well (never having had the chance to display these, I am unsure of the complete list); I am currently in the process of obtaining a full list from Bernard, who I know keeps a record. They all have the membership number of 133, which is my membership number, carved into the bottom of each piece. I am not sure what has happened to them, but if they are being touted around for sale (and I intend to check e-bay too!), maybe someone in the DW community has heard of this.

DWM replies: If you find Bernard's goods for sale numbered 133 please let Carolyn know.

* From: "Ali Wilson"
I was sure there'd be a bunch of folks interested in hearing some of what Terry's been doing in Australia!

mp3 downloads of most of his interview with Adam Spencer and Wil Anderson (the breakfast dj's on Triple J - the best radio station on Australia's national broadcaster) are available on their site:

It was a real treat to switch on the radio that morning and hear Terry talking to Adam and Wil about all sorts of things like taking the piss out of Morris dancing, the rock and roll experience of book signings in Poland ("No sex, no drugs, but I can listen to as much music as I want!"), the trials of actually having to finish books when starting is so much more fun, the distinction of having Discworld plays performed on all the world's continents including Antarctica, where character names come from and the insights from people who do PhD's on Discworld (TP: "Are you ready for this guys? I write post-modern fantasy which is kind of real posh stuff." WA: "Did you know you that you wrote post-modern fantasy before somebody told you?" TP: "Well, no.")

Questions and comments from callers were also fielded, including one kid who was congratulated by Terry on his good sense after he confessed to having never read a Discworld book. I spent a bit of time trying hard to get through with my questions, but the phone lines were too busy. It was still a great way to spend the morning even if I was late for work!!

DWM replies: Ali gets this month's Letter of the Month.

4. DiscTrivia

This month we continue our series of trivia based on quotes. We provide the quote and you need to guess the character and novel. We would like to thank Peter McElwee for researching and organising these questions.

This is how you kill a dead man.

I imagine fish have no word for water

They had to break both the reviewer's arms to get him to let go of it!

Yeah, well these ladies weren't hired for their spelling.

Well, I'm sorry about that, you bloodthirsty overbearing tub of lard.

The results, as always, appear at the end of this issue.

5. Stamps and Prawns from the Cunning Artificer

The fact of the matter is, these stamps of ours have been such a huge success that I think Isobel and I are going to see more of them than we do of each other. They are going all over the world, and really seem to have hit the spot both with Discworld collectors and philatelists. And the more I get into the whole stamp thing, the more I learn and am fascinated by. I went with some good mates to a stamp fair last weekend. Stuart had booked a table - that's Stuart Wrighton by the way, for he IS a philatelist (and his wife knows, so it's all right) and he has been lumbered as sub editor of the Stanley Howler Stamp Journal for his pains.

Well anyway, this was a first for me I can tell you. Like a Nun popping into an orgy to see what it's all about, I crept into this hall in Salisbury. Table after table piled high with huge tomes, each one filled with thousands of stamps. The inhabitants were mostly blokes of a good vintage, knowledgeable, wise in the way of stamps and surprisingly sane, all things considered. So there we were with the most outlandish stamps of all: Discworld. I mean, I ask you, Discworld stamps in a real philatelist exhibition - as Terry would say, a case of art imitating life if ever there was one.

But these folks were so kind, and I learnt so much. For a start there was not a sneer about our stamps. I say 'our' because thanks to YOUR input I regard you lot as part of the design steering committee, and they were most complementary on the artwork and production. Then I sat at the feet of the masters. Men who really know about stamps, men who collect tiny bits of history and can recount every fact within their specialisation. It was awesome, and I came away with a whole shed full of ideas for stamps to come. Of course a certain man of letters has not been lax in providing inspiration for new stamps, so lean back, and read what he has written for our new Assassins Stamp, which will be out at Hogswatch. Now remember all of you, These are Terry's own words, and his copyright, OK?

Assassins Guild: the Penny Black (v. rare).

Very few Assassins Guild Stamps were sold gummed after it was rumoured, without hard evidence, that the Guild was using some to poison 'clients'. After the outcry and a possibly coincidental funeral, the remaining gummed stamps were withdrawn and only ungummed ones are now sold. A few un-used gummed stamps have found their way onto the market and of interest to collectors, but a sealed transparent envelope is advised.

I ask you, who could not resist creating a very special stamp after reading that, and there is a lot more where that came from, so watch out. Oh and just as an aside, I put a very silly advert in the Almanak, just as a take on what used to appear in that sort of publication years ago. Terry liked the idea, so we made it real. Thus the Year of The Prawn Medal was born. Well folks it works. You never will suffer shipwreck if you are wearing it, and as proof I give you exhibit one: one Waddy, a spinster of the parish, who sometimes masquerades as a real person. And who this very month did go upon a sea voyage, and was not shipwrecked, assaulted by any passing Kraken, or lured onto rocks by singing maidens or come to that sirens (which is louder with less on), or get nicked by Her Majesty's Customs for having half a ton of good rolling stuffed up his whatsit. Another case of life imitating art, eh? If I don't see you before Hogswatch, have a good one, and all the blessings you can think of be upon you all. Best wishes, from Bernard the stout, Cunning Artificer to the gentry, and Granny Isobel, keeper of the sticky buns.

You can of course see Bernard's wares at and more about Discworld Stamps at

6. Competitions

This month we have a unique item to give away. Sandra Kidby has produced a special one-off "The Mob" t-shirt with the text "Discworld Monthly - Hogswatch 2004" on the front and "Oook" on the back.

If you would like to be the winner of this unique T-shirt you need to send the answer to the following question to by 21st December 2004.

Q1. How much does the Feegle Spotting T-shirt cost at (

The randomly selected winner will be announced next month. For more information about this exciting range of Discworld T-shirts and other Kidby merchandise visit

7. BursarVixen Enterprises - Countdown to Hogswatch

With the festive season well and truly upon us we'd like to take a few minutes of your time to keep you informed about new developments at BursarVixen Enterprises.

Special Offers: Upon returning from the Convention and sorting the beer we brought back we have found that a few bottles of the Convention Ale, specially produced for the event, had not been sold.

The Convention Ale was only available for sale during the weekend of the Convention and as such, is a real collectors' item with only 150 bottles ever being produced. We don't want to see the beer go to waste, and so we will be giving any customer who purchases a Convention Ale glass (Tankard or Conical) between now and December 31st a free bottle of the beer to go with their glass. Numbers are limited, so order early to avoid disappointment. If we run out, then the site will automatically stop taking orders, so go ahead and get ordering today.

A reminder to all customers that the 21st Birthday Beer will be removed from sale on the 31st December 2004, the end of the birthday celebration year. Don't miss out on this beer, featuring a fantastic label of Great A'tuin by David Wyatt.

Again, stocks are limited and we don't want anyone to be disappointed. We fully expect bottles of the Birthday Ale to be changing hands on eBay from January 2005 at silly prices, so get yours while you still can.

All customers purchasing three individual bottles of beer from the site will receive a free gift box for them, making your Christmas present wrapping just that little bit easier.

We also wanted to make customers who want more of our Nanny Ogg's Scumble aware that we are running low on stocks and won't be getting it back in stock immediately, so if you want to be sure of getting some of the first edition, do order today.

New Stockists - Discworld Beers: You can get our full range of Discworld Beers and glassware from the following stockists:

The Beer Cellar, 2 Gordon Road, Lincoln, Lincolnshire, LN1 7AJ Tel: 01522 524948

Please call ahead to check opening times and availability.

Morpark Wines (From December 11th 2004), 16 High Street, Wincanton BA9 9JQ Tel: 01963 33317

Morpark Wines tend to stock the beers for the Discworld Events only, so it would be worth checking with them first if you are heading into the area and want some beer.

All our Discworld Beers are available via mail order and can be purchased from the website.

New Stockist - Discworld Mugs

You can now get a selection of our Discworld Mugs by Paul Kidby and featuring the artwork of Josh Kirby from the following store:

Hippypottermouse, The Corn Exchange, Call Lane, Leeds, West Yorkshire, LS1 7BR Tel: 01132 467 265

Ankh-Morpork Post Office Opening: We will be attending the opening of the Wincanton branch of the Discworld Post Office in December on the Saturday only, and will have a small selection of stock items with us. If there is anything in particular you would like to buy, be sure to e-mail us before the event and we will make sure we bring them along.

Christmas Orders & Posting Dates: Our offices will close between the 23rd December 2004 and 2nd January 2005. Beer orders for more than three bottles are sent via our courier and can be dispatched for next day delivery. Our last shipment will leave on the 22nd December.

Royal Mail's last posting dates are as follows: 6th December 2004 - Airmail to South and Central America, Caribbean, Africa, Middle East, Far East, New Zealand and Australia

10th December - Airmail to Eastern Europe, USA, Canada and Japan

13th December - Last posting day for Airmail to Western Europe

18th December - Last day for second-class post (UK) 21st December - Last day for first class post 22nd December - last day for special delivery

Next Day Delivery Options: If you miss these deadlines and want your item to be delivered before Christmas, please select the 'Dispatch by Courier' option in the Merchandise section. This service costs an extra 5.00 GBP but guarantees delivery the next day after dispatch. If you are concerned about delays to Royal Mail deliveries at this busy time, then selecting this service is recommended too.

eBay Auctions: We regularly place items for sale on eBay and customers interested in some real collectors' items should be sure to check out our eBay store -

We have recently sold the prototypes for some of our Josh Kirby Mugs and plan to add more items between now and Christmas.

New for 2005: We will be launching two new beers in early 2005. We will be reintroducing Black Hogswatch and Albert's Drip, each featuring a new label. In both cases, we will be working with Terry to create a label with maximum Discworld feel. Keep watching the website for more details.

Both beers will be available in gift packs with a special glass featuring the beer label.

These are just some of the exciting new products we hope to begin offering our customers in the New Year.

Special Occasions: Because orders have to be batched for distribution we normally advise customers that delivery can take up to 28 days. In practice, this time is normally less. However, if you place an order and want it for a special occasion, please e-mail the details to and we will do our best to get the items to you before the occasion.

Merry Hogswatch: All that remains is for us to wish all our customers a very happy Hogswatch and to wish you well for the New Year. We'd like to thank you for your loyal custom over the last year, and look forward to welcoming you back to the website in the future.

Paul & Karen Kruzycki

8. Bonsai Trading - Site Update

by John - Bonsai Trading

Bonsai Trading, the on-line Discworld store, has recently undergone a major re-vamp. We've taken great pains to make it look and feel like the store you know and love, but under the surface there have been BIG changes.

You can now sign up for a Customer Account, which will let you track your orders & deliveries, there's an improved menu system, fully searchable catalogue, quicker loading product lists, and just generally all sorts of gubbins to make your Discworld shopping REALLY easy.

We hope you'll all nip along and sign yourselves up so that you can register for our Newsletters and Email announcements about new products and further updates on the store (and besides when you are signed in the site will greet you by name, which is kinda cool...).

We've taken the opportunity of the re-vamp to shuffle the Merchandise Sections about a bit, adding new products and even whole new sections, so go and have a good root around to see what's where!

There's plenty more we could tell you about (including Discworld stamps, our exclusively 'altered' version of the Discworld Almanac, our new range of Fan Art prints), but instead of rambling on here why not go and have a look. If you have any questions, just let us know via the 'Contact Us' page.

We know many of you will be about to make those important Christmas purchases, so see you in the on-line store soon!

9. Review - Discworld Almanak 2005

The Discworld Almanak is the replacement for the discontinued Discworld diaries. The book is co-written by Terry Pratchett and Bernard Pearson, although it is not made clear how much each author was involved. Having visited The Cunning Artificer's in Wincanton on a number of occasions and seen I immediately recognised a lot of Bernard's style in the book's design.

The Almanak is mentioned in several of the Discworld novels so brining it to life makes sense. This Almanak, however, is not printed on soft enough paper for my preference, although it does include fake holes for it to be hung up upon.

A nice feature throughout the book are the short snippets of written conversation between Ronal Goatberger (Publisher) and Thomas Cropper (Overseer). This provides an amusing narrative between what is in effect a number of skits. Not that there isn't any useful information to be found in the book. If you ever need to know anything about Cabbages this is the book for you.

There are sections that deal with horoscopes for the upcoming year as you would expect from any almanac.

Scattered throughout the pages are adverts for many weird and wonderful items. It is often hard to determine the round world adverts from the Discworld ones. One of the most important adverts (if you plan to travel in 2005) is the Mystic Talisman for the Year of the Prawn (p94) which is only 4 GBP in the UK.

The diary pages allow for 36 days in each month, which I would find really useful as there never appears to be enough time to get things done.

The Almanak is a lot of fun, but I wouldn't recommend trying to read it as a novel. It is best to dip into from time to time. I suspect it would make a good talking point if left on the coffee table, or keep it in the smallest room for when you pay a longer visit.

At only 9.99 GBP (RRP) this is well worth adding to your ever growing, Discworld collection.

I have just noticed that at the end of November are selling this book for 5.99 GBP. See the following link:

10. The End

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Discworld paperback: Monstrous Regiment 055214941/87

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* Disc Trivia Results *

This is how you kill a dead man.
Lily Weatherwax - Witches Abroad

I imagine fish have no word for water
The Tyrant - Small Gods

They had to break both the reviewer's arms to get him to let go of it!
Corporal Nobbs - Hogfather

Yeah, well these ladies weren't hired for their spelling.
Seargent Jackrum - Monstrous Regiment

Well, I'm sorry about that, you bloodthirsty overbearing tub of lard.
Bursar - Moving Pictures

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