Discworld Monthly - Issue 168: April 2011

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. DiscTrivia
5. Article: Discworld Games - Part 2: Discworld - Psygnosis
6. Competition results
7. Article: Supposing They Film Wyrd Sisters...
8. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 168. Further to last month's extra issue Terry has been spending some time in the offices of SFX Magazine in the UK discussing the new Watch TV series. You can see a video of part of the discussion at:

http://www.sfx.co.uk/2011/03/21/pratchett-exclusive/

At the end of April I will be heading down to Wincanton for the Spring Fling 2011. It will be interesting to see what the Dolphin Hotel will be like now that Mike the landlord has left. Let's hope the breakfasts are still up to scratch! Whatever the state of the breakfasts I still look forward to spending a fun-filled weekend with lots of other Discworld fans.

Don't forget, if you visit a play or a talk and would like to let the world know about it, please feel free to email your review to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk and we will consider it for publication.

If you have written an article that you think we might want to include in the newsletter please feel free to email me at the address below. We will of course give credit for anything we use.

--
Jason Anthony (Editor) info@discworldmonthly.co.uk
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Teaching Assassin)

2. News

Neil Gaiman was recently interviewed about his and Terry's involvement in the upcoming Good Omens adaptation at Digital Spy.

http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=GAIMAN168

More Discworld Stamps ... This time they are legal to use in the UK. On the 8th March The Royal Mail issued Magical Realms, a set of stamps based on classic magical characters.

The four 1st class stamps feature Rincewind and Nanny Ogg from the Discworld and Dumbledore and Voldermort from the Harry Potter series.

The two 60p stamps feature Merlin and Morgan Le Fay from Arthurian legend.

The two 97p stamps feature Aslan and the White Witch from Narnia.

http://discworldmonthly.co.uk?redir=STAMPS168

Discworld Monthly now have a small number of complete sets of the stamps to give away as letter of the month prizes over the coming months, thanks to the generous donation of David Macnamara.

Last month Terry pledged a 10,000 GBP reward to help capture the people responsible for a killing spree on swans. Six swans were found shot on the 30th January and another eight on 22nd February.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-12623183

UPDATE: It appears three men, aged 34, 37 and 45, have been arrested and bailed in connection with the shootings.

An Avon and Somerset Police spokesman said the trio were arrested on suspicion of criminal damage.

You can see a television interview that Terry gave for ITV here: http://www.itv.com/westcountry-west/pratchett-in-swan-appeal89222/

Discworld Cross Stitch update from Emily Metcalfe:

"I have taken over Lyndisfarne Cross Stitch after the death of my Mum. Lyndisfarne has the exclusive rights to produce Discworld cross stitch kits and had been offline for nearly 12 months. The website is now back up and running and we are available to fulfil orders. Come and have a look at the detailed designs of the characters in these fantastic books."

http://www.lyndisfarne.com

Kev Wells wrote in to let us know about his website which he calls Discworld Pages http://disc.kevsoft.co.uk/

The site appears to be an aggregate news site that draws information from multiple sources. There is a lot to look at in this constantly updating site.

Discworld Dates...

This section will contain events that you need to keep in your diary. Entries will remain until they go out of date. New entries will include the word [New] next to them. If this section gets too large we will start pruning entries.

[UK and AU, Updated] The Broken Drummers and The Drummers Downunder are groups of fans that meet up monthly in the UK and Australia.

Their next meetings are:

Monday 4th April 2011 - The new Perth branch of the Drummers Downunder, cousin to the Broken Drummers, will be meeting from 7pm at The Vic Hotel, 226 Hay St, Subiaco, Australia.

Monday 4th April 2011 - The Drummers Downunder (Sydney) meet at Maloneys on the corner of Pitt and Goulburn Streets (across the road from World Square), Sydney, Australia at 7pm.

Monday 4th April 2011 - The Broken Drummers meet at The Monkey Puzzle, Paddington, London, W2 1JQ, England at 7pm.

Visitors to any of the events will be made welcome.

[AU] The third Australian Discworld Convention will be held on 8th, 9th and 10th April 2011 at the Penrith Panthers conference centre in Penrith, NSW. Places ARE limited so register now!

Terry has confirmed he is coming and more special guests are to be announced soon.

Keep checking in at http://ausdwcon.org/ The website has been updated with hotel information, Guilds and lots more.

Volunteers needed. Contact enquiries@ausdwcon.org (no mimes - by order of the Patrician). If you would like to help us publicise the convention contact publicity@ausdwcon.org

[DE] The Liber troupe will bring McBest [Wyrd Sisters - Ed] on stage in Weilheim/Bavaria on 15/16/17 April.

[AU, New] Terry will be presenting "Imagination, not Intelligence, Made us Human" at the Sydney Opera House on Sunday 17th April at 5pm. http://www.sydneyoperahouse.com/priority/sir_terry_pratchett.aspx

Some tickets were still available when we checked on Saturday 26th March.

[NL] The first Dutch Discworld Convention takes place at Hotel NH Atlanta in Rotterdam on 28th - 29th May 2011.

Program items so far are Premiere for the Netherlands of Going Postal, a Banquet buffet, a Masquerade and Workshops.

No news about Guests of Honour yet.

Contact details: http://www.dutchdwcon.nl

For further information contact: info@dutchdwcon.nl

[US] NADWCon2011 planning is underway. The dates of the new con will be July 8-11, 2011, and the location will be the Madison Concourse Hotel and Governor's Club, in Madison, Wisconsin.

http://www.nadwcon.org/

[UK] Following on from last year's great success with Wyrd Sisters, Collingwood RSC will be performing Jingo at The NEW THEATRE ROYAL, Portsmouth, Hampshire, England.

The dates you want to know are Tuesday 12 till Friday 15 July 2011. curtain at 1930. FOUR shows ONLY.

Box Office number 02392 649000. Ticket prices Stall and Dress Circle 12 GBP (concession 10 GBP), Upper Circle 8 GBP (concession 6 GBP).

[UK] Wadfest X - The Future and Beyond takes place from 19th - 21st August 2011. The event takes place at Trentfield Farm in Church Lanehan, Retford. Wadfest is a family-focused camping event where Discworld fans meet up for a weekend of fun and games from Luggage Wars to Live Pingu. The event includes a talent show and a charity auction where you can get some excellent collectors pieces.

More information at http://www.wadfest.co.uk

[DE] The German Discworld Convention 2011 will take place from 30th September to 3rd October 2011. Assassins will roam the halls of Castle Bilstein but they promise not to harm visitors of the 3rd German Discworld Convention during that time (except when contracted).

Registration has started and about 80 tickets remain.

http://www.scheibenwelt-convention.de

You can let people know that you will be there by visiting us on Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/ScheibenweltConvention

[IE] Irish Discworld Convention 2011 (IDWCon11)

The second biennial Irish Discworld Convention will take place, once again, in the Falls Hotel, Ennistymon. Taking place from the 4th-7th of November 2011. For those of you who missed it the first time, and if you don't mind us saying so, it was a bit of a bit! If you would like to be there this time membership is now open and information on all sorts is available at our website! Special Guest Professor Sir Terry Pratchett has confirmed his attendance! Now it's your turn!

http://www.idwcon.org

Small Ads...

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Phil Chadwick halbared@gmail.com writes: I am running in the BUPA 10k in May to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society. Please use the link below if you would like to sponsor me:

http://www.justgiving.com/Phil-Chadwick0

Holroyd Theatre Co. in Sydney, Australia, is looking for some more cast members to participate in their production of Maskerade, to be staged in June. We meet for rehearsals every Tuesday at 7:30pm at St Stephens Presbyterian Church Merrylands, on the corner of Merrylands and Monitor road. You can contact me (Matt) on 0414 69 59 39 or just turn up next Tuesday.

Ian Jarrett ianjarrett2010@hotmail.co.uk writes: I'm volunteering in Oxfam and as I said in the previous DWM we had a load of Discworld paperbacks donated.

Thank you to all who replied and bought some... However, we've had another load of Pratchett paperbacks donated...

So, as last time, if you wish to buy some good condition paperback Pratchett books cheaper than high street prices, please, please email me or drop into Oxfam on Aylesbury high street.

Average price is 2.49 GBP each.

Bryan Hassenpflug bhassenp@yahoo.com writes: Please!!!!! someone help me - I just saw the new Royal Mail stamps with the Magical Realms, which will include some Discworld. I NEED TO GET SOME OF THEM! Unfortunately ordering them from here in the United States from The Royal Mail and having them shipped here seems prohibitively expensive. Plus, I will admit trouble with the exchange rate. May I ask some kind soul in the homeland of the Great Pterry to come to my aid assist me in purchasing some and shipping them to the U.S.? Alas, any Discworld merchandise is difficult to obtain here.

Alex Butterfield alexjbutterfield@gmail.com writes: Can any DWM readers write iPhone apps? I would love to see a Thud! app, in the style of Words with Friends.

If not maybe we could all just bombard newtoyInc, the makers of Words with Friends, to encourage them to release such an app.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters or comments, please email them to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters by copying them in green crayon on pink paper with a mouse in the corner (with apologies to Terry Pratchett - Hogfather).

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

* From: "Jane Weeks" dorothyeverill@btinternet.com

We have all been brought up to read the 'classics', i.e. Winnie the Pooh, Alice in Wonderland etc., etc., parents introducing children to good books to read and enjoy. However, in perhaps a very Discworld fashion, it has run the other way in my family. My son introduced me and I love the books and I have now introduced my "aged" mother, who is finding she really enjoys them.

It's all Terry's fault, he makes his characters so real that you cannot but help get a very vivid mental picture of them. Now of course, there are so many and I want to find out what happens next. Granny and young Esme, Sam and Cybil, the list just goes on.

I adore Stephen Briggs reading the audio books. He even sounds like I imagine the characters.

What else can I say. TERRY PRATCHETT IS UNIQUE!!!!!!

* From: "Simone Plant" S.Plant@staffordshirefire.gov.uk

I know you don't want to open the can of worms that is TV/film personalities playing DW characters but I need to voice my dislike also of David Jason as Rincewind. I love DJ dearly as our most wonderful character actor. Playing Albert ... probably yes - but that assistant librarian come wissard I'm afraid not!

My perfect Rincewind has to be Duncan Preston who plays many wonderful character roles for Victoria Wood, but most noticeably for me Stan in Dinner Ladies. Now there's a 'run away' wiz if ever I saw one.

* From: "Susan Cormier" choral@eastlink.ca

With regards to Douglas Adam's leopards in the lavatory.

You know I think that Douglas Adams lifted this from Gerald Durrell who, on one of his collecting trips in Africa, really had a couple of leopards who were kept in the lavatory because of lack of suitable cages. And there was a note over the door which said "beware........" .

DWM replies: Susan gets awarded this month's Letter of the Month. The prize a set of the Magical Realms stamps.

* From: "Chris Whitty" chrisrwhitty@yahoo.com

In one of the Watch stories (I forget which) Fred Colon and Nobby guard the bridge when it's cold and wet because "there are a lot of poor countries would like a bridge like this" and there just happens to be somewhere where they can shelter and have a cigarette.

Perhaps they should transfer to North Yorkshire!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-12607065

"A footbridge weighing about 10.5 tonnes has been stolen from the back of a trailer in North Yorkshire.

The footbridge constructed for a new shopping development in Leeds was taken overnight on 17 February from a holding yard ...

... police said anyone who had seen the bridge being taken or knew where it was should contact them immediately."

* From: "Gary Wickens" garywickens@sky.com

Have just watched the 2nd Nanny McPhee film with my two boys and can't help thinking that the two loan collectors reminded me of the Agony Aunts. I wonder if the film writer is a Pterry fan?

* From: "Kellyn" kellyngm@gmail.com

For Christmas last year, my grandparents gave me a small grey kitten. I love him, but I couldn't think of a name that seemed to fit. Then one night while I was watching the movie Wyrd Sisters (which was very good, I could quote the lines directly from the book) and they mentioned where Greebo was locked in the room. They showed him, and it was like Blind Io had sent me inspiration. Greebo was the perfect name for my little grey cat. Don't you just love it when Discworld Inspiration makes it to your head? And for my birthday, I just have to announce it, I got a signed copy of I Shall Wear Midnight and Carpet People, Terry Pratchett's first book. Thank you Io!

* From: "Jane Harrington" janerhea@yahoo.ca

While I was listening to a rebroadcast of the CBC radio programme 'The Bottom Line" today, I was amazed to hear writer Margaret (note spelling) Atwood describe to David Suzuki a book she reviewed called Death With Interruptions by Jose Seramago published in 2005. Death, a woman, stops. At first everyone is elated until things go wrong. The funeral industry collapses, the hospitals are full, many people are in a state of perpetual near death. Death eventually begins being death again, only to find a human she loves on her list. I thought, "Does Pratchett know about this?" I checked the copyright of Reaper Man on my bookshelf, and it said 1991. The Amazon description fleshes the story out a little more and I don't believe anything more than the basic premise is similar, but still, it gave me a Pterry moment. Jane Harrington

* From: "Linda Estlund" lrestlund50@sbcglobal.net

Cooee, y'all. Until recently my eldest son and I were the only ardent readers and followers of Sir Terry's Discworld. We titled ourselves Pratchett Zombies: he (the esteemed Mr. Pratchett) kills us with his humor and we come back for more, reading the latest and re-reading the old. My husband and youngest son hung on the fringes as we shared bits by reading passages from books or watching dvds. A week ago my youngest, our Mikey, came home with a graphic novel combo of The Color Of Magic and The Light Fantastic. Then, just today, my husband, Chris, picked up The Last Hero. I warned him that getting started was dangerous because it might be difficult to put down. He replied, "I'm trying to stick to the illustrations but the words keep getting in the way." We are also excited as we will be attending the convention in Madison, Wisconsin this summer. Geeked is an even better word. It is our sincerest hope that Sir Terry will be able to make the journey. To his continued good health and to you all, Linda Estlund, Pratchett Zombie and Disciple (dedicated to spreading The Word. Pratchett's, that is)

* From: "Warriner, Richard" rwarriner@randomhouse.com

As a Pratchett fan since the early 90's (OK, addict - I regularly reread the DW series from the beginning in between new books, so either Terry will have to write faster or I will have to learn to read more slowly), I am amazed at the new projects detailed in the last dispatch.

I had given up all hope of seeing a 'Good Omens' adaptation on any screen years ago. Now to see the project green-lit, with a Python to boot? Pinch me I must be dreaming.

Then I read that there will be a TV series based on the Watch! That one came out of left field, as I hadn't even heard any rumours. To see this wonderful news on top of the Good Omens announcement is too good to be true. I don't think I could take any more surprises, so you'll have to hold off on any more goodies like this until I've had a chance to take all of this in.

Kudos to Terry for both projects! My only concern is how long I will have to wait for both to reach Canada in theatres and on TV. I suspect we'll get the dirty end of the stick on one or the other. Thank the gods for international mail order services and region-free DVD players!

* From: "Aidan Karley" aidan_karley@yahoo.co.uk

In the press release [about the new Watch TV series] ...

Sir Terry Pratchett said, "I'm very excited! I really am incredibly happy about this because Rod was part head of the team that produced the very successful Sky One adaptations and my message of encouragement to him now is; don't bugger it up!"

That looks like the first occurrence (in my experience) of the phrase "bugger it up" in a formal press release. Which marks, in a neo-bovine-excrementally prevaricated, anti-literarily-obsequiously, and probably Sartre-inspired, one step further in the relaxation of prudish constraints on formal language. I think there's a point in there ; and I think that Pterry's natural-sounding language in his books (both as direct speech and as "the Narrator") has long been a marker of these shifting lines of acceptability.

But then again, I'm a geologist with a specialism in troll dentistry. So what would I know?

4. DiscTrivia

This month I am going to do something different, having run out of books / characters type trivia we have been using. Thanks to those who pointed out that we only had 8 questions when the introduction said there would be 10 and that Mrs Earwig first appeared in A Hat Full of Sky.

This month I'll take three random quotes from Stephen Briggs' The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld and ask you to name which book they came from.

The answers as usual can be found at the end of this issue.

5. Article: Discworld Games - Part 2: Discworld - Psygnosis

Written by Jason Anthony.

In this series of articles I am looking at the various Discworld games (either computer or physical) that have been developed over the years. This month I am looking at Pygnosis's Discworld game.

The game was created by Teeny Weeny Games and Perfect 10 Productions in 1995 and published by Psygnosis. The PC version was designed to run in MS-DOS which was the main gaming platform in the mid 90s. Windows gaming became popular a few years later.

The game doesn't run correctly on modern operating systems natively any more. Luckily the nerds behind ScummVM (a program designed to run old adventure games on modern systems) negotiated a deal and managed to get hold of the source code to the game. They have now tidied up the code of the game engine (named Tinsel) and integrated it into their emulator software. You still need to have the original media to be able to play the game.

I downloaded the latest version of ScummVM from http://www.scummvm.org/ and installed it. I then copied the files from my CD of the game onto my hard drive. The game came in both floppy disk and CD-Rom versions.

I fired up ScummVM and clicked on the Add Game button, then pointed the program to the folder I'd just copied the CD to. ScummVM recognised the files and added an entry for Discworld (CD/DOS/English) to the menu. Now whenever I want to play the game I just start up ScummVM, click on Discworld and press start.

You may need to change the options to scale up the resolution, otherwise the game will look tiny on a modern screen. I believe the game originally ran at something like 352 x 240 pixels. I found that choosing to display it at three times resolution worked well.

The game itself it made up of acts, like a play. The first act resolves around getting out of the Unseen University. Rincewind is tasked with working out how to get rid of the great dragon that is attacking civilians. I had vague memories of Eric Idle (the voice of Rincewind) saying "that doesn't work" a lot from when I played the game back in the 90s. This turned out to be true of playing again this time. You tend to spend a lot of time clicking on things to see if you can do something with them and often get 'that doesn't work' quoted back at you. One feature I quite like is if you don't do anything for a while, Rincewind comes right up to your screen and shouts "Hello, is anybody home?".

Once you manage to get out of the Unseen University you get to see the map of Ankh-Morpork and start moving the mouse around trying to find places to visit. Some of them, such as the alley, are almost impossible to find. I downloaded a walkthrough for the game because I got fed up with Rincewind moaning at me and still found the whole thing quite hard to complete.

I feel that unless you got right into the designers' mindset for how each puzzle works, you ended up spending a lot of time randomly trying to use objects on other objects and people to see if they will do anything. After a couple of hours play I gave up and went to do something more interesting.

The people at ScummVM have done a great job in getting the game to work really well with modern systems. I think that once again, though nostalgia aside there is no real reason to play the game as it's very much a product of its time.

Still, in the nine years that elapsed between the release of The Colour of Magic computer game and this Discworld game, things have moved on a long way. The point and click interface is a lot more intuitive (but the puzzles still seem just as cryptic).

Next time I'll take a look at Discworld II: Mortality Bytes and see if it improves on Discworld.

6. Competition.

This month we have a set of enamelled badges from our wonderful friends at PJSMPrints. The five badges feature: Death, Rincewind and Luggage, Terry, Lord Vetinari and The Librarian. Each badge measures 40mm or 1.5" and are attached using butterfly clasps.

In order to be in with a chance of winning the set of badges you need to answer the following question:

Send your answer along with your postal address to competitions@discworldmonthly.co.uk by 20th April 2011. Your address will only be used if you are a winner and only for sending out your prize - once prizes are sent out all address information will be destroyed. Entries received after 20th April 2011 or sent to any other address will be ignored. No more than one entry per person will be accepted. Answers to the questions must not be posted to any websites before the competition ends. The judges' decision is final.

For more information about PJSMPrints' products visit: http://www.pjsmprints.com/badges/

7. Article: Supposing They Film Wyrd Sisters...

By Nanny Oggy (nannyoggy@ymail.com)

Now, we all know that they did a pretty awesome job of the cartoon version of Wyrd Sisters, and the 'all star' cast of voice talent from Annette Crosbie (Granny), Jane Horrocks (Magrat) and June Whitfield (Nanny) were perfect for the role.

But just supposing... they decide to make it into a live action a la Going Postal. Just WHO is going to fill those roles??

In the first of (hopefully) a series of articles we hope to let YOU play the rolecaster and vote for your favourite from 3 or so actors in some of the plummiest roles that will grace TV!! First up, as I indicated... the witches.

Naturally THE Lancre witch (Granny of course, who would be highly miffed if we suggested anyone not of true calibre for her role) has to have someone worthy of the role. To my mind she has to be tall, thin... the word "scrawny" could be attributed to her. Also hard, gimlet eyes, a shrewd 'knowing' look, yet having a heart under all that. Of course anyone who knows and loves Granny would know that she's wise too. Now try to portray that. Keep that in mind as we go to the other witches.

Nanny Ogg is the matriarch of a huge family, human mother of the most evil cat ever to grace the Disc (whom Nanny of course thinks is just a grown up version of the cute fluffy kitten he once was, everyone else in the vicinity of Lancre knows otherwise!) a jolly, happy, eccentric sort of woman. Rather rotund too. Now while I'm sure that padding or (*shudder*) a fat suit could be used, I think it very difficult to believe that a thin person can effectively play a larger role. Being somewhat of the Nanny persuasion myself (tho vainly trying to attain the slimness of Christine in Maskerade,) I can attest to this, it's as hard for a fat woman to play a thin one, notwithstanding the 100lbs or so extra fat! So that is something else to consider!

Now to Magrat, who is of course a wet hen, mother, warrior queen (briefly... the warrior bit anyhow) and herbalist. In the UK at least we'd refer to her as 'scatty'. When I read Wyrd Sisters I am always put in mind of Alice the curate in 'The Vicar of Dibley' for Magrat... both fit very nicely into the 'wet hen' category. Since she was the junior witch (before going off queening) she is considerably younger than Granny and Nanny, so can't be too old.... therein lies the problem getting a decent actress, not overly sexy. Can be pretty but not someone like say Anne Hathaway (no guys this is NOT intended to be a "Who's the sexiest actress" debate, I mean that Anne is a bit TOO pretty for this role!).

Agnes (aka Perdita X) Nitt is another larger role. In fact 'It [takes] some time for outlying regions to come to rest...'. Another younger witch, and since there's a couple of books with the original 3 (i.e. with Magrat) the rolecasters have a little longer to find the perfect Agnes. Would help if she could sing too (for Maskerade), although wouldn't be the first time that a voiceover has been used for singing.

Lastly Tiffany Aching - the very definitely TEENAGE witch.... so much so that I'm not even thinking grown actresses for this. Possibly a hitherto unknown actress would be good for this role but I do have some suggestions to put forward.

Oh some other points to mention - The witches are Lancrastrian.... now to my mind that's always struck me as a Lancashire or Yorkshire sort of accent, so preferably these actresses could pull off a convincing colloquial and regional accent, and also since the witches feature in a lot of books (almost as prominent as Death and the City Watch.... whom I'll feature next time) so it helps to have people who can go the distance and be available for many films.

To that end I give you my top 3 for each role, and you are invited to vote on these (and only these please.... this is not intended to be a massive outpouring of 'no, that person isn't right' - if you want to do that use the discussion boards in IMDb... where many such discussions are going on right now! Mostly against Mr Jason and the 'Who was/is the best Vetinari' and 'Who should play Sam Vimes?'... all of which will be covered in later issues).

Ok for Granny:

Dame Maggie Smith - got the height, the looks, the calibre. Could do the accent. However, might feel a little typecast as a witch and she's not in the best of health at the moment.

Dame Helen Mirren - See above for Dame Maggie, she can do accents very well and a real class actress. Not sure if they could afford her tho!

Meryl Streep - in a sort of reprise of her role in Devil Wears Prada.

Annette Crosbie is also a possible - but I don't think she's tall enough.

For Nanny Ogg -

Dawn French - needs aging a little, but otherwise right size and shape, fun and she can certainly pull off an accent. However, like Maggie Smith, has already played a witch.

Miriam Margolyes - I think she'd be PERFECT for the role as she's short and plump (might mean that slightly shorter actresses could get away with playing Granny since the height difference between Margoyles and anyone else would emphasise the difference and make them look taller)

Patricia Routledge (Hyacinth Bucket in Keeping Up Appearances) could play Nanny too.

Magrat -

Now 'Alice' (Emma Chambers) from Vicar of Dibley has been suggested and she would have been perfect. However, like Bubbles from Absolutely Fabulous (Jane Horrocks who did the voice for the cartoon version) I think that both these actresses are a little too old to play Magrat these days. I think Joanna Page (Stacey from 'Gavin and Stacey', also the "face" of Superdrug in the UK at the moment) would do excellently. Alison Hannigan has been suggested (Willow in Buffy) possibly only because she was a witch in that but she's young enough to play it. And finally, Kiera Knightly but I think she's too well known (not that the others aren't) and would demand too much money.

For Agnes I think it would be a total unknown but Ruth Jones (Nessa from Gavin and Stacey) would be a very good choice! She's sassy, plump... maybe a little too good looking (speaking as a woman I find her attractive, she's got a cheeky grin for a start... give it 10 years or a LOT of make up and she'd be perfect for Nanny too!!), she can sing too.

And finally Tiffany. The only known actress I can suggest is someone along the lines of Dakota Flanning or Dakota Blue Richards (Lyra in The Golden Compass). Both these actresses would have grown up a little by the time production started on any of these potential films so about the right time for them to be playing Tiffany.

So there you have it:

GRANNY

Maggie Smith

Helen Mirren

Meryl Streep

NANNY

Dawn French

Miriam Margoyles

Patricia Routledge

MAGRAT

Joanna Page

Alison Hannigan

Kiera Knightley

Unknown Actress

AGNES

Ruth Jones

Unknown Actress

TIFFANY

Dakota Fanning

Dakota Blue Richards

Unknown Actress

Please send your votes to me, Nanny Oggy, at nannyoggy@ymail.com, with 'Witches Cast Call Votes' in the subject line (and feel free to add any suggestions to me as to other possible candidates if you wish!) by 15th April 2011 and I'll put the results in the next issue! Along with the candidates for the next in the series - the City Watch. I know some of them (Angua most prominent) appeared in Going Postal... but we need a good strong Vimes you know!! (I'll include Lady Sybil here possibly too... unless I do 'Notables, Royalty and so forth!)'

8. The End

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