Better Than

Discworld Monthly - Issue 38: June 2000

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. Recommendations
5. DiscTrivia
6. ISIS Audio Book Competition
7. The Discworld Collectors' Guild Event 2000 - Lords And Ladies
8. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 38. Congratulations to Richard and Jenny on the birth of their second son, Keiran, on 6th May. Keiran is the second DWM baby and should hopefully soon start being weaned on Terry Pratchett books.

Please note the July issue (No. 39) will be delayed by a week or two due to holiday commitments but should appear around the 6th of July.

Jason Anthony (Editor)
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Figment of imagination) (This explains a lot -RM)

2. News

Last month we mentioned the Advanced Book Exchange but didn't have an URL for the site. The address is

The paperback release of Science of Discworld (which I've already seen it in the shops) and the new ISIS audio book of Carpe Jugulum will be release in June.

A German language version of Wyrd Sisters known as Seltsame Schwestern is available. For more information contact

The Rep College, Wokingham, Berkshire will be playing Wyrd Sisters between Wednesday 14th and Saturday 17th June inclusive at 7:45pm. Tickets are priced at 6GBP and 5GBP for concessions. Tickets are available from the box office on 0118-942-1144.

Colin Smythe (Terry's agent) suggests visit if you want any of the Discworld games as they sometimes come up for auction.

The Trowbridge Players present Terry Pratchett's Mort adapted for the stage by Stephen Briggs from Wed 26th to Sat 29th July at The Arc Theatre, Trowbridge, Wiltshire. Tickets are 6 GBP adult 4 GBP concessions and are available from The Arc Theatre.

For booking info go to the link below (although for anything to do with the production, non booking wise, contact Phil Cooper at ).

Eagle-eyed Pratchett fans have found interviews with Terry at:, &

Advance notice: Carpe Jugulum will be performed at the Questors Theatre, Ealing from 4th-7th October 2000.

The Crescent Theatre, Birmingham is performing Maskerade from Sat 17th June - 1st July. Tickets are available from 0121-643-5858, Mon - Sat 12pm-7pm.

Small Ads....

Justin ( ) is looking for someone willing to sell their four mini-Discworld books.

Michael Gavin ( ) needs a lift to the Clarecraft Event in July. He lives in Sale, Cheshire in the North West of England and would appreciate any offers. He is only 16 so cannot make it on his own.

Christopher Galvin ( ) would like to know if any Discword events are planned in or around Dublin in Ireland and would like to meet anyone who also loves Discworld.

Bonnie ( ) writes: I recently purchased Nanny Oggs Cook Book. I live on the west coast of the US. Can anyone tell me what Swede is or mixed herbs. Can either be purchased on-line and would I want to? Some of the recipes sound really cool. We are going to have a cocktail party with rat's on a stick and rat pizza (probably some "normal" food too).

Peter McCartney recently posted an ad asking for an epal, but unfortunately asked you to write to the wrong email address. If you would like to talk to this 16 year old Canadian please email him at

Yvonne Couch ( ) finds it hard to talk to any of her friends about Discworld and can't seem to find any other teenage girls who are into PTerry, Douglas Adams and the like. Anyone who is willing to be e-pals should e-mail the above address.

KLEOPATRA ( ) has a message for spanish-speaking Terry Pratchett fans which reads: I've created an IRC channel called #Ankh_Morpork on the IRC-HISPANO server. Everyone who would like to visit us and chat a while with a group of crazy people will be welcome.

Stephen Coatsworth ( ) has a copy of the sampler for "Legends" edited by Robert Silverberg for sale. It contains short stories by Terry Pratchett and Raymond E. Feist and is signed by both of them.

Andrew Styrmo ( ) gets his Discworld books from his local Coles. In the last 6 months they have increased their inventory of Discworld books and now have just about all the books in stock in soft cover.

Hieu Truong ( ) says: is a great place for US fans to get The Fifth Elephant. And they have stores in Oregon, I think.

Alistair Sutherland ( ) writes: I managed to get Discworld Noir from they might be worth trying for a copy still. Be warned I've already received two junk mails from them in ten days...

Lark ( ) writes: I know a great place for PTerry stock, and it's an independent store which I always prefer because they're struggling against people like Chapters and Amazon. It's Nebula Books, a science fiction/fantasy bookstore in Montreal who specialise in British editions of books for poor starved American and Canadian readers! (The Kirby covers are so much better!) Their web site is and I've ordered from them before; their shipping is amazingly low and although sometimes I have to wait for a title if they're out of stock (they say Pratchett is the most popular author they sell over the Internet!) they always keep me up to date, even if it's to say that they haven't forgotten me.

Laura Underhill ( ) would like to know where she can see Josh Kirby's cover illustrations without big boxes over them. The boxes always seem to cover up the interesting parts... She adds: If anybody out there feels like talking, I can waffle with the professionals (my teachers) and am always willing to get mail (so I don't feel like a complete pillock when I check my mail). Oh and excuse any spelling mistakes- dyslexia (did I spell that right?)....

Maria ( ) will be in London this summer and wants to know if there are any places (bookstores, sites, etc.) that a Discworld fan shouldn't miss?

Mark Standen ( ) is looking for Discworld 1 for the PC.

Ben Deloughry ( ) is looking for Discworld 1 for pc/playstation. He has been looking for it for months but has never found it.

Jadie Le Fae ( ) would like to correspond with fans of both Discworld and Anne Rice, between the ages of 13 and 40 and she'll quite happily talk to any eccentric person. She likes cats and her other interests can be found at

Donovan Porter ( ) read 'joop post's' message last month and would like to liaise with Capetonian Discworld fans who are interested in a Convention. He would also like to get in contact with any other Discworld fans (preferably 18-30) in the Cape Town area.

Simon Mountney ( ) is looking for someone willing to sell a working copy of Discworld 1 or Discworld Noir.

Steven Myers ( ) is looking for a e-pal and is 19 years old and would like to discuss writing. [particularly sentence structure I'd imagine - WB]

Rachel Berry ( ) is looking for Discworld I or II for the PC. Preferably in Britain.

Allen Beadmoor ( ) is looking for a currency exchange between GBP and AM$.

Roi Eshel ( ) is 21 years old and live in Israel and would like to put on a Discworld play and would even be happy to play in it.

Fiona Wedgner ( ) will be getting a new parrot in a few months time and wants suggestions on what to call it. She would like to name it after a character from the Discworld. Currently she doesn't know what sex this bird will be so just send any names. DWM suggests "Youbastard!"

Bryan Hassenpflug ( ) is looking for a copy of Discworld for the PC and is willing to pay a reasonable price for it.

Nick Smith ( ) is looking for Discworld the first computer game.

( ) writes: I am currently looking for anyone willing to sell me one of those bronze UU graduate pins like Rincewind wears in the books (the picture is illustrated in the companion next to Rincewind's name). I heard you could get one from Steven Briggs if you ordered the Bachelor's UU Degree, but he won't take American money and that's all I have. And I'd have to pay by cash too. If anyone can get me this for a reasonable price, PLEASE mail me! Thanks a million!

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. WB might also insert some remarks to irritate his fellow editors.

Each month the writer of the month's best letter will receive two Discworld badges with PTerry quotes on them from Snapdragon Gifts. You can contact Snapdragon Gifts at or Please mention DWM in any correspondence.

* From: "Jackie Rigden" ( )
"Dear DWM

It was a bit unnerving to hear I didn't exist! However, I'm glad of Douglas Townsend's reassurance...... (so that 1998 Convention was not just a convincing dream! Phew!!)

Josh Kirby"

I am a friend of Josh Kirby and I print out your DWM every month for him to see as I receive it on my email. Although I can verify that there is such a person as Josh Kirby, his lifestyle hasn't quite reached the 18th Century, let alone the 19th, 20th or 21st and he doesn't have such a thing as a computer, so he asked me to send you the above message from mine!

DWM replies: In fact, we experienced Josh Kirby live, in person at the 1998 Convention, and it was a real high point for us. Hopefully it's clear to all our readers by now that rumours of Josh's non-existence are entirely unfounded. Apologies are due, perhaps, for not clearing this up in the last issue.

* From: "Carles Beltran" ( )
I'm a subscriber of DWM and a follower of Discworld novels (although in Spain we just have 9 of them printed). I'd like you to give me the answer to 2 questions that are on my head. You said that "The Last Hero" was due to delivery next March 2001 intended for being edited the Autumn of the same year. What does it mean delivery if we won't be able to enjoy it until Autumn?. Must I consider it as the 27th novel of Discworld?

* From: "Craig Waggett" ( )
I was looking through a holiday brochure and discovered a strange parallel between Ankh-Morpork, the cities of Ankh and Morpork combined, and Budapest, the cities of Buda and Pest combined. I wonder if this was what Terry had in mind??

* From: "Adam Linville" ( )
In response to Harry Shearman, Irene Donovan, Perumynar Arumugam, and the rest of the anti-literary-analysis camp: You have made two good points: no writer worth his salt writes with the actual intent of being analyzed. [That's only one - WB]

Also, [oh, right -WB] "Anyone who chooses to do literary analyses on Discworld characters obviously has a problem," as Perumynar said. These people are called English majors, and I agree that they all have problems, mainly because I'm one myself. That doesn't mean they're wrong.

Good grief, people are actually saying that it's BAD to analyze literature? I haven't lost the ability to read just for the fun of it because I've written the odd term paper or evaluation on a book or participated in a discussion on an author's work. Talking about the Discworld novels without ANY kind of analysis sounds something like this: "Hey, that Discworld's really cool." "Yeah, I like Death the best." "Me too." "I like the way he speaks in ALL CAPS." [Hey, me too! WB]

If at any point you ask, "Really? Why is Death your favourite?", you've just basically asked for that person's analysis of the character. Everyone subscriber to DWM is guilty of it, including Harry, Irene, and Perumynar.

Why do people even bother to read this newsletter if they're going to insult and ridicule contributors for trying to expand some horizons? We're going to keep analysing, and if you don't like it, don't read it and leave us alone.

DWM replies: You *may* change your mind if you read 'Terry Pratchett: Guilty of Literature' - see next month's review.

* From: "Esmerelda Weatherwax (Beignon)" ( )
In reply to "Rachel Berry" in italian we use the expression "una donna perduta" (a lost or profligate woman) for a woman of ill reputation, but more in the sense of a "femme fatale" than in the sense of a prostitute. By the way, PTerry uses a lot of dog latin, that is quite obvious for italians, less for english speaking people. This compensates for all the english jokes I miss.

PS Could please somebody tell me WHO IN THE HELL IS LLOYD WEBBER?

DWM replies: Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber writes extremely popular, with some people at any rate, musicals including: Cats, Phantom of the Opera, etc.

* From: "Jacqui Lawrence" ( )
I would like to agree with the comment from "han dumme stogge" about Vimes in Discworld Noir. I also found him to be slimy and annoying. In fact he deserved to be called Mayonnaise. I particularly found his voice annoying; it was weaselly and grating and he didn't act at all like the hero we know and love, so to whoever wrote the script and did the voice Boooooo!!!!

Next a plea for help. In Moving Pictures PTerry creates Discworld clickie production companies which sound very familiar. There is Fir Wood (Pinewood) and Untied Alchemists (United Artists) that I recognise and can translate into Terran. There is one more that I think I know; Microlithic Pictures might be Monumental Pictures but what in Blind Io's name is Floating Bladder Pictures? If anyone knows please tell me! It's driving me nuts. It'll probably be something really obvious and then you'll all think that I'm an idiot but I don't care.

* From: "Simon Read" ( )
We all know about PTerry's great habit of putting obscure references to the 'real' world and to other books in his Discworld books and I wanted to know if anyone else noticed this. [I think Jacqui Lawrence may have - WB] In Stephen King's IT there is a character which is basically a giant turtle swimming in space. I've been hitting my head against the wall trying to see other IT references and I wondered if anyone else has spotted any VERY obscure references.

DWM replies: prepare youself for a deluge of e-mails Simon.

* From: Stuart ( )
It seems - and quite rightly too - that Josh Kirby's artwork is as much a part of the Discworld and Terry Pratchett's novels as the words themselves. So here's a question - which your American contributors might be able to answer.

Why do American editions of Terry's novels appear with - what I consider anyway - vastly inferior artwork? Why do the US publishers insist on those rather poor covers? What do American readers think? Have they, in fact, ever seen any of Josh Kirby's illustrations?

I have been over to the US many times and seen the books there but never made a note of the publisher - perhaps it's the US branch of Transworld. I think, perhaps, we ought to have a campaign to make them 'see sense' and republish the books together with Josh Kirby's excellent artwork!!

* From: "Ed Hodgkinson" ( )
Clive McCartney complains that Terry's publishers hold on to books excessively delaying publication till Christmas, but as the DWM reply adds, this is how they make money, and thus can keep publishing the books. What does it matter if you have to wait from one November to the next rather than June to June or whenever the books were actually finished?

If Terry writes one book per year, I don't mind when in the year they actually come out. The only objection should be if Transworld were building up a backlog of books to release, and as far as I'm aware, they aren't.

I would have far greater concern if I thought that Terry was being pressurised to keep writing books, just to churn out as many as possible with no regard to the quality of the work. I hope that Terry is now in a position where he can write a book only when he has something to write about. If this were to mean 18 months between books, I'd happily wait.

Be thankful he's as prolific as he is!

DWM replies: Letter of the Month goes to Ed for telling it like it is. And using prolific in his letter.

* From: "Peter Dymoke" ( )
There are several reasons why the creature described so graphically at the end of Interesting Times was not recognised:

(1) It was wizards of which recognition was demanded (2) It only had one head (3) the Zodiac sign is made of stars - try seeing a scorpion in the "real" zodiac (not that I believe in such nonsense you understand) (4) It obviously went SPLAT!!!!! immediately it snuffed it (5) It was covered in batter (6) er.... (7) that's it

* From: "Maryanne Mozer" ( )
Thanks to Julie who mentioned room 3b - she pointed people to the Unseen University homepage at Room 3b is accessible from this page via the "communications" option but can also be accessed directly at

Recent developments by Magrat and Agnes/Perdita have to be seen to be believed... And Havelock Vetinari (whoever you are) it's time you visited again - your postings are consistently brilliant!

Also to all those who wish to discuss the books, or do some literary analysis (and some of us do enjoy it, thank you very much!), then why don't you try starting a new topic in room 3b? People can then discuss to their hearts content...

Finally, there is a space in room 3b for people to leave their email addresses & start communicating directly with other Discworld fans - so do it now!!

* From: David Birk ( )
For some time after finishing Discworld Noir, I thought a lot about the really great music in the game and how nice it would be to listen to it without having the game running all the time. So I sat down and looked a little on the cds, and I actually managed to make it work: All the *.mus files on cd 1 and 2, can be played by winamp, very nice! Keep in mind that the two songs with song's in 'em (strange :)), the troll-song and the song in Cafe Ankh, is in two versions on the same track, first the German version and then the English version..... That brings me on to another thought, wouldn't it be a nice idea to make a soundtrack of all the three Discworld games or something? I would surely buy it, but I guess there's a lot of problems with copyright now that Perfect Entertainment has gone bankrupt and GT not wanting to re-release Discworld Noir (shame on GT). Well I'm not really sure what's going on.....Does anyone have a clue (...of what's going on, I mean:))?

* From: "Alain Cian" ( )
In Carpe Jugulum, Magrat asked Nanny Ogg what did Granny meant by "from can to can't?" (pg.204) when they were in gnarly ground. When exactly did Granny said this???

WB replies: Here, you're right - when did Granny say this?

* From: "Tervor W McKeown" ( )
Although there is only one specific reference to Freemasonry in the Discworld series, there would appear to be a never-ending parade of joculer allusions to the ritual and symbol of Freemasonry. A short and incomplete list of references can be found at

4. Recommendations

In order to reduce the size of the letters section with large letters recommending other authors we thought we'd keep things simple by listing the name of the person doing the recommendation and the recommendation itself.

Discworld FanAuthor
Christopher GalvinGeorge Orwell - 1984

There is also a list of comic-fantasy authors at

5. DiscTrivia

Last month we asked for a new DiscTrivia writer to take over the role from Danu Poyner who recently officially resigned as Trivia writer due to the pressures of this position [not really - Ed]. The quality of questions sent in were really high and we would like to thank everyone that entered.

We finally narrowed the choice down to two entrants of extraordinarily high calibre but they wanted too much money, so two other contributors are going to alternate in the role.

This month we have questions from Adam Linville ( ), who is an undergraduate at the University of Kansas and is working on a degree in creative writing. He has been a Pratchett fan for about five years and owns nearly every Discworld novel; his favourite is Feet of Clay and his favourite character is Sam Vimes. Adam likes to write poetry and short stories in what little spare time he has.

Next month we will hear from Simon Greener ( ) who works for Servicecall in Nottingham, England.

Here are Adams's questions (the answers, as usual, can be found in section 8):

1) How many children, not counting in-laws and grandchildren, does Nanny Ogg have?

2) What do the initials B.S. in B.S. "Bloody Stupid" Johnson's name actually stand for?

a)Brannigan Silas
b)Bergholt Stuttley
c)Bonadventure Sartoris
d)Bertram Stuart

3) Who was originally quoted with this line: There's no justice. There's just us.

a)Samuel Vimes
b)Sergeant Simony
c)Granny Weatherwax

4) According to Commander Vimes, what is the only crime?

d)evil intent

5) Agnes Nitt, or Perdita, isn't the first witch to have a pseudonym. What name did Granny Weatherwax have for a very brief time in her youth?


We would like to welcome both Simon and Adam to the team and look forward to many more interesting questions.

6. ISIS Audio Book Competition

To coincide with the June release of the new audio book Carpe Jugulum, ISIS have agreed to offer two copies for our new competition. We should have a full review of the book in next month's issue.

In order to win Carpe Jugulum you need to answer the following simple questions.

  1. What does Carpe Jugulum mean in English?
  2. Which Witch got married in Lords and Ladies?

Once you have your answers, email them with a subject of Carpe Competition to All competition entries should be received by 22nd June 2000. The winners will be selected at random and announced next issue.

Once again ISIS would like to offer all entrants to the competition a free catalogue of its products. You will only get a catalogue if you didn't enter our previous ISIS competition. If you would prefer not to receive the catalogue please say so on your entry.

7. The Discworld Collectors' Guild Event 2000 - Lords And Ladies

Following the announcement last month that Clarecraft or more specifically The Discworld Collectors' Guild would be hosting an event this summer to help Discworld fans get over the cancellation of MillenniCon Hand and Shrimp, we have arranged with The Discworld Collectors' Guild to give you some more information about the new event. The following is based on information gathered from The Discworld Collectors' Guild's web site which we have used with their permission.

For the latest information about the Lords & Ladies event visit The Discworld Collectors' Guild's web site at or email Elton at

The Discworld Collectors' Guild will be hosting a re-run of their increasingly popular Discworld Event over the weekend of Friday July 28th to Sunday July 30th 2000. Details have yet to be finalised, but expect to meet a few Discworld celebrities and one or two fellow fans! There will be a bar, some evening entertainment including a Maskerade and the ever popular 'PAINT YOUR OWN' event. The main idea behind these events is for fans to get together to down a few drinks, look at some of the latest Discworld merchandise and generally have a good relaxing time. Don't go looking for an event-packed convention, as this is not what they are aiming at.

The Guild are currently working on a plan of action for the weekend and have already seen the first draft of the special paint-your-own event piece that is being sculpted in a joint operation between regular sculptor Joe Pattison and the very well known Bernard Pearson. If for some reason you've never head of Bernard you can find out more about the Cunning Artificer at

Tickets for the event cost 5GBP and can be booked online at the Clarecraft web site, and they say you won't be charged until they are ready to send the tickets out. This tends to be a popular event so make sure you book early.

For fans new to the The Discworld Collectors' Guild event, camping is very basic, you can camp for free and the site provides toilets. Just make sure you don't have a tall, narrow tent. If you would prefer not to brave the elements and sleep in a nice comfortable B&B you can contact one of the local Tourist Information Offices at either Stowmarket (01449 676800) or Bury St. Edmunds (01284 764667).

8. The End

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* DiscTrivia Answers *

  1. Nanny Ogg has 15 children.
  2. The BS in BS Johnson stands for Bergholt Stuttley.
  3. Death said: There's no justice. There's just us.
  4. Theft is according to Vimes the only crime.
  5. Granny Weatherwax was once know as Endemonidia.

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