Better Than

Discworld Monthly - Issue 58: February 2002

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. Birthday Trivia Part 3
5. The Search for a Klatchian Hots
6. Review: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents- Audio Book
7. Special Announcement: World Premiere Of Truckers On Tour In 2002
8. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 58. It appears that our comments last month about the GOFAD website caused some readers a bit of confusion. GOFAD was originally run by Phil Penney but was later taken over by Elizabeth Alway. You can find our more about GOFAD by visiting

Jason Anthony (Editor)
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Apres Ski Master)

2. News

The paperback editions of Thief of Time and The Science of Discworld II: The Globe will be published on 2nd May 2002. Ebury will also issue, on that date, a fully updated and revised format paperback of the original The Science of Discworld. Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen have written two brand new chapters for the book.

The Paperback Fastsellers List for 2001 has The Truth in at no. 29 with publisher's sales standing at 349,483, of which 260,802 were home sales and 88,681 were export.

The Sunday Telegraph's hardback original fiction UK Bestsellers of the Year (books published in 2001) list had Thief Of Time in first position, with 131,742 recorded sales through the participating booksellers, The Last Hero in fourth position with 96,756 sales, and The Amazing Maurice And His Educated Rodents in seventh position, with 84,339 sales.

Methuen Drama are publishing Stephen Briggs's adaptations of The Fifth Elephant (ISBN 0-413-77115-6) and The Truth (ISBN 0-413-77116-4) on 21 February, both at 7.99 GBP.

Following the death of Josh Kirby in late 2001, the publishers of Terry's books had a need to find a replacement artist to produce the cover for the next Discworld novel, due for publication in November 2002. With the huge success of The Last Hero (7 weeks at No. 1 in the Times sales chart), Transworld needed very little persuasion to allow Paul Kidby to undertake the commission.

Paul submitted a parody of Rembrandt's 'Nightwatch'. As a result, Terry changed the name of the book from the working title Nature Of The Beast to Night Watch. (Source:

The Discworld Convention committee will be announcing details of a collaboration between Paul Kidby and the Convention shortly. In the meantime, you can pre-order copies of The Science of Discworld II and The 2003 Discworld Diary via these links:

The Science of Discworld II 0091882737/discworldconv-21 The 2003 Discworld Diary 0575071052/discworldconv-21

The Convention receives a small commission for every sale - helping us to make the 2002 Convention even bigger and better!

For more information about the Discworld Convention 2002 visit their web site at

Unfortunately the dates, times and venue for Merlin Youth Theatre's production of Stephen Briggs' adaptation of Wyrd Sisters have changed! They will now be performing at:

Halliwell Theatre, Trinity College, Carmarthen on:

Saturday 2nd February 2002 at 4pm Sunday 3rd February 2002 at 7.30pm

Tickets will be available at the door, and at reasonable prices too!

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Matthew Farmer ( ) has created a new Discworld chat group called Dunmanifestin. It can be found at:

Debbie Mayne ( ) writes: My husband has been a die hard fan of the Discworld books since they started and the latest 'The Last Hero' has him drooling over the unsurpassable artwork. Please can anyone help? My so dependable computer crashed with all my links saved from these newsletters and I no longer have the link for the Discworld puzzles. My favourite character, DEATH on Binky is calling and I cannot find him so if anyone has the link, please please pass it on.

Also, are there any plans for a set of cards depicting all the Discworld characters?

DWM Replies: You can see all our back issues at our web site at

Colin Peake ( ) writes: I have been "lucky" enough to acquire a Playstation 1 game - Discworld Noir. The reason it was cheap was due to a lack of instructions! Please could you send a request through your magazine for any helpful person to contact myself regarding arranging a copy.

Saurio ( ) writes: I'm from Argentina and I guess I should be TP's greatest fan this side of the world. But that's not exactly the reason of this mail. It happens that I'm a writer and the publisher of a web-based literary magazine. In its #4 issue, released yesterday (January 8), there's a TP Special. What's that? An article, an interview with Mr PTerry himself, the translation of some tiny excerpts of the novels and a commented bibliography. Everything written and done by yours truly. The special (and the magazine) is in Spanish, though, except the interview that is both in Spanish AND in English, but, anyway, the invitation is made. The magazine's name is LA IDEA FIJA and can be found at

Amanda Dixon ( ) writes: Over Christmas I received a copy of "The Truth" for a present and had unfortunately already bought it but not read it yet. I will swap it with anyone who has an unread version of "Interesting Times". Though unfortunately I can only swap with people in the UK, postage and all that!

Tanujaa ( ) writes: I love Terry's books and welcome mails from fellow enthusiasts.

Exeter University are holding a Science Fiction Convention on the 2nd and 3rd of March 2002. A number of notable science fiction / fantasy writers will be attending. So far they have provisionally confirmed:

Fay Sampson ("Star Dancer", "Herself"), Beth Webb ("The Magic in the Pool of Making", "Fleabag and the Ring of Fire"), Peter Garratt (Numerous short stories), Mark Leyland ("Slate Mountain", "Cloud Forest"), Gwyneth Jones ("Divine Endurance", "Bold as Love"), Nick Walters ("Dry Pilgrimage", Dr Who fiction), Simon Ings ("Headlong", "Painkillers"), Stephen Palmer ("Memory Seed", "Glass"), Christina Lake, John Ratcliffe (Editor "cold print" magazine), Ben Jeapes ("His Majesty's Starship", "The Ark"), N.Lee Wood ("Faraday's Orphans", "Bloodrights")

For further information, contact Jo Foster at or visit:

Matt Bunker ( ) writes: "Too many books, too little room" I'm reluctantly selling off some chunks of my book collection, including a full set of Discworld first edition hardbacks. Everything from 'Mort' to 'The Amazing Maurice' is up for grabs, including all diaries. Most are in Excellent condition although Sourcery has got some minor tears in the dust jacket and a couple of the early ones have got some rubbed edges (c'mon, I've read and re-read these things, not wrapped them in cotton wool). Also, all three books of the Bromeliad, Good Omens (a bit tatty) and all the Johnny Maxwells as well as Legends, Wizards of Odd and another couple of books with Pratchett short stories in.

Like I say, these are all first edition hardbacks, all with dustjackets and all with the added rarity value of not having been signed by TP. Will sell individually or as a lot. Please contact me with your best offers and I'll wait one week from this announcement before contacting all parties concerned. Professional booksellers need not apply unless you're going to make a serious offer (ie don't think that you can buy from me and then put the price up by 100% when you come to sell it. I know what the market value of these books are). I'm also clearing out first ed. hardbacks by Iain Banks, Robert Rankin, Harry Harrison, Tom Holt and Spike Milligan. Cheers Matt Bunker

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters to while away the millennia.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

Each month the writer of the month's best letter will receive two Discworld badges with Terry quotes on them from Snapdragon Gifts. You can contact Snapdragon Gifts at or Please mention DWM in any correspondence.

* From: "Navaid" ( )
This is Navaid. When my first e-mail got a place in Discworld Monthly a few months ago, I received e-mails from all over the world. America, UK, Sri-Lanka, Australia, Spain... people sympathizing with me:) and offering their help. Some of them even sent me Terry's books. I don't have the words to describe my gratitude. All of them belong to different cultures, traditions, religion, even races... the thread that binds us is the Discworld. THANKYOU TERRY.

My hard disk crashed a couple of months ago and I lost very valuable data along with the e-mail addresses of my friends. If you are reading this, please write to me 'cause I don't have your e-mail addresses anymore. Specially Beth, Malaacalypse and Steve Martin.

* From: " Stan Flatters" ( )
It's just occurred to me, if the Great A-tuin, of undetermined sex, should come across a similar turtle of undetermined sex, and that turtle is called the Great A-froin, could Rincewind save Discworld from all that A-tuin and A-froin?

DWM replies: For making us laugh Stan gets this month's Letter of the Month.

* From: "Michael Klwinski" ( )
I was casually scrolling down past the Reviews of the Plays I'll probably never be able to see, and the Ads, when I came across The Birthday Trivia. All of the rest of the questions I answered extremely quickly and accurately, but #6 had me stumped for hours.. I poured through all my Discworld books and most of the Discworld URL's I had knowledge of and I just couldn't find any reference to The Good Doctor Horace Worblehat. So, disgusted with myself and resolving to read every single Discworld novel in my possession (which I'm proud to say is all but Silver Horde), I scrolled further down to the Answers and balked at what I saw... it appears that Doc Worblehat is in fact one of my favorite Characters... Oook the Librarian. As I was pondering this, Happened to remember that one of the major subjects of the Last Continent was to find Rincewind to find out just what the heck the Librarian's name was so they could cure him of a nasty case of Magickal Flu. But if I read the book correctly, the Librarian didn't need a Magickal Cure for his Flu, just a bit of sun and surf (from a good 50 thousand years in the past on an Island near the Rim.) So tell me, just where did this information come from? I don't seem to remember Rincewind handing over the information at any point in the book, and unless I missed something, which is probably the case (me being from Texas and all) PTerry never volunteered the name. If it did come from the mind of the some-what mighty, would anyone mind telling me where I can find this, and other information. (Like just what DID happen to Mr. Hong?!)

DWM Replies: We assume you mean The Last Hero? The Discworld Companion has this to say about the Librarian: There is a rumour that the Librarian was once Dr Horace Worblehat, B. Thau, D.M., but no one utters this out loud. Dr Worblehat is dimly remembered as the kind of person you cannot remember in the school photo.

* From: "Chris Harbottle" ( )
Does anybody know if either Colour of Magic or Light Fantastic have been released in hardback (probably by Gollancz or Doubleday) with the picture across the middle, to match the rest of the set?

* From: "Russ" ( )
My daughter and I discovered PTerry in early March of 2000 when, desperate for a new fantasy book, we stumbled across Wyrd Sisters. Tonight my daughter finished reading Maurice and His Educated Rodents to me. In a bit less than ten months we have read every Pratchett Discworld novel out loud. (We could mention that we squeezed in the Bromeliad and Good Omens as well but that might seem like bragging.) Do we have some kind of record here?

* From: "Loretta Harris" ( )
I really, really believe in the Hogfather. I had just finished reading the book for the nth time and was talking to my husband about it. I said that I couldn't imagine what the Hogfather could pull out of his sack for me-the one thing that I would want more than anything in the world, unless it would be a new Terry Pratchett Discworld book. The next day I round out that there is a new book available from my book club. I didn't need any proof, but if I did that was certainly it. We have a Hogfather and sleigh with the four boars pulling it sitting on our coffee table every year at this time. (It does take some explaining to the people who have never heard of the Hogfather).

* From: "Frankland Hamish" ( )
In reference to Darren Smith's e-mail (issue 57). Why don't you try Boarders bookshop on Chapel St in South Yarra, they have a larger selection of Discworld books and can obtain most books via order from around the world.

Ogg's Pharmacy is located on Toorak Road in South Yarra, about half way between Punt road and Chappel Street (close to South Yarra train station) Did you know that their was a restaurant named Haggars in the same area, alas I think that it has now closed down. As I live in the area, I will try to remember to take a photo of Oggs pharmacy over the weekend, as well as Haggars if it is still there.

* From: "Avril Glynn" (email address witheld)
I thought that you would enjoy this image which is from one of the first publications by the famous fleet street publisher Wynkyn de Worde (in 1507). Not only is it by Mr de Worde but it is a picture depicting Death and Binky.

* From: "Elliot Fry" ( )
In issue 57 Yael Lotan ( ) said the Discworld books were for adults, not children or childish adults. I have read the Discworld books since I was 10, I have been to two signing sessions, waited a total of 5 hours in near freezing conditions and have read all the Discworld books at least 3 times, I am 13 years old and I resent people saying that children cannot enjoy and appreciate Discworld books. Having children reading his books is no measure of Pratchett's standard of literature or writing quality - if anything it makes his work better, for being easily accessible and amusing for anyone with good taste and a sense of humour. I read JK Rowling, I have even been to a signing session, I have read them all at least 3 times. They are different, yet if they, and Pratchett can be appreciated by a 13 yr old I see no reason to say one is infantile or one is adult.

DWM replies: Let's not start this one up again...

* From: "Jacqui Goosen" ( )
I just finished reading "Only Human" by Tom Holt and what did I find on p303, but a cryptic reference to Terry Pratchett and "The Colour of Magic". As a background to this extract, imagine a guy called Len flying through the pits of Hell and coming upon a man in the midst of the fire reading a book. Len asks him what he's in for. The man says he is a great reader and loves going to meet the authors ...

" 'Really?' Len raised an eyebrow, 'Still, I'd have thought help, rather than actual punishment...' 'I haven't finished yet. When I actually got to meet authors, I'd smile and shake 'em by the hand and say what a pleasure it was and so forth.' 'Must've cost you a fortune in rubber gloves, that.' 'Money isn't everything. And then,' the man went on, 'I'd say what a great fan I was of their early work.' 'I see.' 'And wasn't it a pity they didn't write 'em like they used to.' 'Ah.' 'And how I'd borrowed their latest from the library, but it wasn't a patch on their first book.' 'Gosh.' 'I know,' the man replied sadly. 'Shouldn't have done it. Ah well, if you'll excuse me.' He opened his book. 'I've just got to the bit where the tourist meets the wizard. I like that bit.' He frowned. 'Or at least, I used to. The seventy-five millionth time, maybe it's starting to lose a bit of its sparkle.'"

A good laugh that was. At least now we know what happens to those who criticise the great PTerry!

* From: "lizmari kotze" ( )
In reply to Yael Lotan's mail in DWM 57 I'd just like to say that I agree with him that the Discworld certainly is "delicious mental food for intelligent, open-minded grownups with a healthy sense of humour". What I didn't like was how he painted Tolkien's view of Elves as a "pompous, romantic, slightly fascist-utopian depiction". His is a more traditional depiction of Elves. I've only recently read Lords and Ladies and while a small part of my mind rebelled against the thought of Elves as the bad guys I did realise that that was the point. Just like the characters the audience also has this idea of Elves as beautiful and kind and that's what makes Lords and Ladies one of my favourites.

I've read all the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit. I love them all and I don't think there's any need to compare them to each other in any way. Pratchett's wonderfully humorous depiction of a fantasy world is just that - humour. It is intelligent, witty and greatly entertaining. The Harry Potter series is meant for a younger audience, but you don't have to be a kid to read a fun story. The Lord of the Rings is meant to be a more serious tale. A mythic history for Europe. Because they are so different they shouldn't be compared only enjoyed, but just because you like one doesn't mean you have to like them all.

4. Birthday Trivia Part 3

This is the third instalment of five questions from my birthday trivia quiz. All questions were written by William Barnett so if the answers are wrong, once again blame him.

11) Who repeatedly said 'That doesn't work'?
12) Literary question: which Discworld book refers to the works of Mervyn Peake?
13) What sort of large, hairy dog, exclusively owned by royalty, requires a lot of exercise?
14) Who's Eskarina and what was she all about, then, eh?
15) How do you get knurd?

The answers can of course be found in the final section of the newsletter.

5. The Search for a Klatchian Hots

by Thomas Hauville ( )

When I first received "Nanny Ogg's Cookbook" and read what it had to offer I immediately became excited. Not only was it a good read but the recipes seemed real but authentic enough to try. And, to my pleasant surprise, they are really quite good.

However, it didn't take me long to notice that something was missing; something important that, in fact, is a vital part of Ankh Morpork's culture. In fact I do wonder if Nanny Ogg hasn't sold out just a tiny bit (or maybe it's been covered in one of her previous -- and now unavailable -- publications) by only including recipes from the higher end of Ankh's society the Posh.

The "Quattro Rodenti" has been covered, and it is perhaps an exotic food to those visiting the fair cities of Ankh and Morpork, but unless you're a dwarf you just might prefer something more traditional and affordable (unless you want named meat).

Therefore I have taken it upon myself to devise a recipe that might give Ankh natives a taste of home. O-KAY, so the Klatchians might have invented some of it, but if there's anything that says Ankh Morpork almost as much as one of Dibbler's sausages, I think the Klatchian Hots is it, especially after a big night out.

So for all those who want a taste of fair Ankh (rather like how a hot curry might remind you of London), here is the recipe. The best part is that after trying it, it really DOES have that authentic Ankh look. The only thing I ask for my labours is that for anyone who uses this recipe, I receive the credit for devising it and that Terry Pratchett get all the rest for its inception:

Klatchian Hots (pizza)

Ingredients: 1 Pizza base (large), 120g Named Meat, finely chopped (preferably chicken), 1 onion, 3-4 mushrooms, sliced 1/2 tomato, finely chopped chillis (red or green) seeded and sliced, 3 Tblsp pizza sauce, curry powder to taste, cayenne pepper to taste, Mozarella cheese

Method: Finely chop half the onion and fry for a few minutes. Add some curry powder, stir, then add the meat and fry for a bit. Add some more powder (hot as you like) then add the tomato. Stir well and fry for a further 3-5 minutes. Add some curry powder and cayenne pepper to the pizza sauce, stir well and TEST IT! to see how hot it is. You don't need much cayenne pepper at all, but maybe quite a bit of curry powder. When it's OK, spread the sauce evenly over the pizza base. Slice the other half of the onion (not small). Top the pizza with cheese, onion, mushroom, chilli and the meat/onion/tomato mixture in any order you please. Cook in pre-heated oven. This is meant to be hot, but perhaps your mouth is not lined with asbestos.

Serves: Not many, depending on how much you've drunk.

NOTES ON THE RECIPE: Mostly, I have tried to make this an authentic Ankh-Morpork recipe and so I shall explain what I believe an Authentic Ankh Morpork recipe should be: rather like how an English curry is not very similar to a traditional Indian curry, the Klatchian Hots, I feel, should be somewhat removed from Klatch. To put it another way, the English have Anglicised curry to their liking and I think that the inhabitants of Ankh Morpork, in their inimitable way, would most likely apply the same process to food. This is why you have mushrooms in there, and some slices of onion along with the curried bits. If you really like, you could put almost any of your favourite pizza topings on it in order to get this desired effect ("I'll have a Klatchian Hots with olives," for example).* In short, it is a Morpork interpretation of foreign food. It is, quite literally, an odd marriage of Italian and Indian. I found the result to be quite pleasant (although I didn't make it hot enough) but it looks not-so-appetising. That's another important part, really. Strange things happen between the Mozarella and the curry powder, making something that looks extremely close to Ankh Morpork food. If the people eating are disgusted at first glance, then half the battle is won. But trust me, it works much better than I could have hoped.

* Although Pineapple is right out, for it is dangerous and meddlin'
in the occult

I hope you enjoy this recipe. Many thanks for reading, and if you do enjoy it, or even if you don't, I would appreciate your comments.

6. Review: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents - Audio Book

by Jason Anthony

I was recently sent a copy of ISIS's latest Terry Pratchett audio book The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. Once again narration in handled effortlessly by Stephen Briggs.

As with all the audio books I have reviewed from ISIS, TAMAHER sounds great. The tapes are recorded with Dolby noise reduction so there is no hiss when played back. TAMAHER comes on six cassettes so is not as long as most of the Discworld books but about half as long again as Eric which I reviewed a couple of months ago.

Stephen has really settled into the role of reader on the audio books. As Stephen is so closely involved with Terry and the Discworld he is probably the best person in the world for the job. Having listened to all of his ISIS readings I have been impressed how all the characters have had unique voices.

Whilst I really enjoyed listening to TAMAHER, there were a few of the voices that didn't quite seem to fit for me. Maurice reminded me too much of the auditors in The Thief of Time and Dangerous Beans (excellent name) sounded too much like the Low King from The Fifth Elephant. This didn't stop me enjoying the book it just didn't fit my mental image of the characters. On the other hand having Hamnpork sound like Michael Caine was superb.

All the unabridged ISIS audio books can be ordered from their web site at or by calling 0800 731 5637. TAMAHER costs 19.99 GBP + p&p.

I would like to thank Peter Johnson at Isis for supplying our review copy of TAMAHER.

7. Special Announcement: World Premiere Of Truckers On Tour In 2002

Terry Pratchett's hugely successful book Truckers, a Smarties book award nominee in 1989, is being given its world stage premiere in 2002 in a ground-breaking co-production between three regional theatres, Harrogate Theatre, the Belgrade Theatre, Coventry and the Theatre Royal, Bury St Edmunds.

Truckers has been adapted for the stage by Bob Eaton, Artistic Director of the Belgrade and will be directed by Rob Swain, from Harrogate Theatre. It tells the story of how the thousands of tiny nomes who live under the floorboards of a large department store, Arnold Brothers (est 1905), escape to the great Outside when the store, their whole world, is closed for demolition. They need nerve, lots of pieces of string and a large truck! It all makes for a breathtaking adventure story which all the family are sure to enjoy. The production will combine live action with film - a truly multi-media experience.

Truckers will be touring to the following theatres in 2002:

Harrogate Theatre
15-30 March 2002
Box Office 01423 502116

Belgrade Theatre, Coventry
3-20 April
Box Office 02476 553055

Gordon Craig Theatre, Stevenage
23-27 April
Box Office 08700 131030

Theatre Royal, Bury St Edmunds
7-11 May
Box Office 01284 769505

Civic Theatre, Darlington
14-18 May
Box Office 01325 486555

The Hawth, Crawley
22-25 May
Box Office 01293 553636

The Castle, Wellingborough
28 May-1 June
Box Office 01933 270007

Lyceum, Sheffield
5-8 June
Box Office 0114 2496000

Lawrence Batley Theatre, Huddersfield
11-15 June
Box Office 01484 430528

Everyman Theatre Cheltenham
25-29 June
Box Office 01242 572573

8. The End

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* Birthday Triva Results *

Q11 Who repeatedly said 'That doesn't work'?
A11) Eric Idle/Rincewind (Discworld 1 Computer Game)

Q12 Literary question: which Discworld book refers to the works of Mervyn Peake?
A12) Wyrd Sisters

Q13 What sort of large, hairy dog, exclusively owned by royalty, requires a lot of exercise?
A13) Droit de seigneur

Q14 Who's Eskarina and what was she all about, then, eh?
A14) Granny Weatherwax's protege in Equal Rites. Attempted to enter Unseen University because she had a wizard's staff.

Q15 How do you get knurd?
A15) By drinking Klatchian coffee

* Obtaining Terry's Books *

If you are looking for Terry books or videos over the net, simply visit our web page at and follow the 'Purchasing' link on the left panel of the page.

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