Better Than

Discworld Monthly - Issue 60: April 2002

Table of Contents:

1. Editorial
2. News
3. Readers' Letters
4. Birthday Trivia Part 4
5. Competition Result: ISIS Audio Books
6. Competition Result: New Cunning Artificer Creation
7. Review: Thud The First Ever Discworld Board Game
8. Recipe: Dry Hot Rat Curry
9. Update: Discworld Convention 2002
10. The End

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 60. I would like to thank all the readers that got in touch with me about the problem I am currently experiencing with the evils of spam. Hopefully by the time you read this the problems should have been sorted out. I will keep you informed. In the meantime it is best to contact me at

When we announced that we had a problem with spam a number of readers took the opportunity to state how hard they found it to get off the mailing list. We don't want to send Discworld Monthly to people that don't want it so we have set up a new web page that includes some useful tips on how to unsubscribe.

Jason Anthony (Editor)
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Thud! Wimp)

2. News

The University of Lincoln Amateur Dramatics Society, based in Hull are putting on a production of Wyrd Sisters (as adapted by Stephen Briggs) on the 27th, 28th and 29th of April. The production will be performed at Hull Grammar School, Cottingham Road (nr Beverly Road) in Hull, and tickets will be 3.00 GBP. Tickets are only available from the Student Union reception at the University of Lincoln (Cotting Road campus, Hull) at present tel:01482 463800. More information can be obtained from

Terry Pratchett's TRUCKERS will be performed at the Belgrade Theatre, Coventry from Wednesday 3rd to Saturday 20th April 2002.

"Outside! What s it like? Well, it's sort of big!"

A modern day Gulliver's Travels, Truckers is packed with humour, shrewd observation and brilliantly drawn characters. Combining film and live action, Bob Eaton's hilarious adaptation of Terry Pratchett's epic novel is a must-see adventure story for all the family.

For more information, or to book on-line visit

Unseen Theatre Company in association with Dominie Pty Ltd presents Terry Pratchett's "Lords and Ladies". Directed by Sean Venning, adapted by Irana Brown and produced by Pamela Munt.

BAKEHOUSE THEATRE, 255 Angas St, Adelaide, South Australia APRIL 20, 24, 25, 26, 27 and MAY 1, 2, 3, 4 at 8.00pm Tickets: Adult 14AUD, Concession 12AUD, Group (10+) 10AUD Bookings: Call Betty on 8296-2004 (8am-8pm, 7 days) or BASS Dial N Charge 131-246 (booking fee will apply) PREVIEW on April 19 all tickets 10AUD only on 8296-2004

More info on

The Collectors Guild now have the new Reaper Man Jigsaws in stock. You can find them online (in the Discworld section) at

Esso Music and Drama are performing Carpe Jugulum at The Waterside Theatre, Holbury, near Southampton on May 2nd, 3rd and 4th. For more information about the show visit If you would like to help in any way with this production email Becky on

Daniel Knight ( ) has created a new web site called Dysk Theatre which acts as a central repository for Discworld plays across the globe. For more information visit

Stephen Briggs has been contracted to record Terry's SF novel, 'Strata', for Isis Publishing. Work is well under way on Stephen's stage adaptation of 'The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents' for Oxford University Press. You can now get the 'Last Hero' colour embroidered Mission Patch, based on Paul Kidby's design, from Stephen's web site. The site includes a color photo and order information at

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Dani Deitch ( ) writes: I have been reading the Discworld books for a good few years now and all my copies seem to be floating around the state at other people's houses. Is there anyone in our fair country interested in joining an Israeli group to either form a Discworld band currently known as BAM (band of awful musicians) or maybe putting on one of the plays either in Hebrew or English?

Tony McFadden ( ) writes: I am a great fan of Terry Pratchett's work, I own all of the Discworld novels and am currently re-reading them in sequence. Reaper Man next. If you would like to swap e-mails with me about TP's work, amongst other stuff, please feel free. I will reply to all messages I receive, so hope to hear from you soon.

Michelle Johnson ( ) writes: I have recently started to make a Discworld Community on MSN called The Discworld Domain. It is in the early stages of construction at the moment but still looks quite good. I would like to invite all Terry Pratchett / Discworld fans to join. There are 3 Guild houses to join that will compete for points and I will also be looking for possible assistant managers to maintain these Guild Pages. Please visit and join at... all ages are welcome and I would appreciate any feedback about the community.

Carrie Nelson ( ) writes: I'm a 55 year old American woman who is addicted to Pterry's work-the Discworld novels in particular. The main reason for this is that I've not been able to find many of his other works. I will be England in May for 2 weeks with 2 visits to London. I would love to meet with some other Discworld fans while there to chat, and maybe you could show me where to purchase other books and Discworld goodies. Please email me privately if you'd like to help me. I'd sure appreciate and enjoy it!

Oh, and wouldn't you know? Pterry will be in Brighton on May 22 according to the last monthly. We arrive in Brighton on the 23rd...sigh. No way to get there any earlier either. BTW, my favorite characters are Nanny Ogg, Angua, Susan and Sir Samuel Vimes. Can't be totally sexist here.

M ( ) writes: There are Discworld PLAYS????!!!!! Wow... Excuse me, I'm an American and there is NO such thing over here -- what all Pratchett stuff is there? I know about the books (love them -- duh), and just recently heard about the animations, but I didn't realize there was anything else. If anyone wants to tell me about it (or just chat), drop me a line.

Edward Kirwin ( ) writes: WANTED: DISCWORLD PUZZLES. I am after 3 out of the 4 original Discworld puzzles. These are the ones that were produced by Spears Games. I require: Soul Music - MS52264, Reaper Man - MS52263 & Mort - MS52262. If someone has one of these that they would like to sell I would appreciate it if you could contact me.

Lizmari ( ) writes: I'm a South African fan dying to get my hands on a copy of Discworld 1. I realize that it's going to be near impossible, but if anyone (not only in SA) can help I'd be grateful.

Harriett Moore ( ) writes: Has anyone managed to get Discworld Noir working correctly with Windows XP. It used to work find on a Windows ME machine but now wont save game positions under XP.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also spend hours trying (and failing) to provide yet another witty comment in this paragraph (that never gets noticed anyway).

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

Each month the writer of the month's best letter will receive two Discworld badges with Terry quotes on them from Snapdragon Gifts. You can contact Snapdragon Gifts at or Please mention DWM in any correspondence.

* From: "Geoff" ( )
YER!! ee or she oo tole ee bout nuffin on yer from forn part was chuntrin wossname. Buggrit (pardon my klatchian)thees gits loads vem, dunnee. Fair riled I did too.

* From: "Nigel Westmancott" ( )
In reply to those seeking to complete the Discworld games, complete walkthroughs can be found at: &

Two warnings:

  1. Other sites are about but some carry distasteful advertising so beware.
  2. Whilst it's nice to find a way out of a difficult spot these walkthroughs miss a lot of the gags and can ruin your entertainment.

* From: "Mrs Meyer" ( )
Several readers have asked "Why Maurice is a children's book?", and so did I -- of Mr Pratchett. He assured me firmly that it was definitely a children's book but didn't elaborate. However, note that the main protagonists and solvers of the mystery (other than the rats) are children, that there are no expletives, and that (as I recall) the length is shorter than the average adult Discworld book (publishers believe that children can't read long novels). Does this help?

DWM replies: Have you seen the length of the fourth Harry Potter book?

* From: "Sue Rhodes" ( )
I am currently reading Mozart's Letters, Morzart's Life by Robert Spaethling and here is an extract from a letter Mozart wrote to his sister from Naples on May 19, 1770.

...and as far as inpertinence of the people in London and Naples is concerned, I'm not sure whether Naples doesn't have it over London, for here the beggars have their own chief, who gets 25 ducati d'argento (silver ducats) from the king every month, only to keep order among the laceroni (beggars).

A colleague of mine thought this may have led to something more organised.

DWM replies: Sue gets this month's Letter of the Month.

* From: "Helen Pagett" ( )
I just want to agree with the whole "Pratchettarians (is that the right word?) and general habitants of the Discworld also love Rowling and Tolkien" idea. I am an avid Harry Potter fan (to the utter disgust of my friends!) and spend as much time in the Prancing Pony as I do in the Mended Drum and Leaky Cauldron (metaphorically speaking). In fact, trying to get me out of the PP (the forum on the LotRfanclub site) has proved a real problem (so, in true "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" style, I've decided to encourage my 'healthy interest' [addiction] to topical chatrooms and forums). Is there a forum for sad cases just like me (that have nothing better to do than surf all day long) based around the Disc? Just wondered.....oh.... if there's anything (troll, dwarf, human etc) out there that thinks the above paragraph is scarily similar to their own existence....feel free to get in touch!

Um, that's it I'm afraid! I dunno if that's worth putting on the next one or even what I was supposed to write, but I always feel this overwhelming desire to write to someone who has an e-mail like 'oook' !

* From: "April Sexton" ( )
Here is another example of how Discworld has penetrated our world so thoroughly...

My husband was playing a video game on his Playstation 2 called Metal Gear Solid 2. When he pauses the game a water mark like figure appears on the screen and guess what that figure was?? A'Tuin! What programmer/designer in Japan reads Discworld Novels and thought this would be a cool little Easter egg? Very neat I thought. It made my husband and I smile. Especially since this game is so bloody and violent! But my husband likes Discworld as well and Metal Gear Solid 2 so I guess someone in Japan must be the same!

* From: "Alex Rose" ( )
Most of the American readers will recognize this: during the Winter Olympics VISA ran a series of ads about the sports they sponsored, most noticeably one where a runner, a football player and a horse race. And lo and behold Terry Pratchett was right, humans CAN run quicker than a horse over very short distances. Rincewind would be proud.

* From: "Anna M.C." ( )
My question concerns the name of "Greebo." No doubt the first thing which springs to mind in a game of word association is "cat," as in "Nanny Ogg's nasty bugger of a cat." However, I just finished reading the Terry Pratchett short story "Turntables of the Night," in which the following paragraph appears:

"I don't think I ever saw him raise a finger to anybody, only that time when Greebo Greaves broke a record Wayne had brought to some school disco and four of us had to pull Wayne off him and pry the iron bar out of his fingers and there was the police and an ambulance and everything."

Any ideas as to why Terry Pratchett would have used such an unusual name for a second time? Is there some significance to the name "Greebo" that I'm missing, besides the fact that it just has a nice silly sound to it, or that he knew the Kevin Brigade would enjoy an "aha!" moment of recognition (and seek fruitlessly for some Deeper Meaning, thus providing hours of sadistic authorial pleasure)? I know, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar ... but, since the feline Greebo's one of my favorite Pratchett creations, I'm really curious, and would greatly appreciate any insight. Assuming, of course, that there is any insight to be had (other than the obvious one, that I'm a trivia-minded prat).

* From: "Nick Murphy" ( )
I have Just read in your pages a letter which suggests that everyone who enjoys Pratchett also enjoys tolkin and rowlings. I don't think this could be further from the truth if it got a fresh horse and a three day head start. In my opinion rowlings work is a re-working of billy bunter without the humour and with sorcery sprinkled on top and tolkins work is the literary equivalent of cmot dibblers dragon detector ie. Useful only in a highly specialised and basically useless way.

The genius of terry's work does not lie with swords and sorcery or magic but in his people and his parodies of real life. I also think that tolkin's stories sought to avoid real life and rowlings only interest in her stories is how much they are worth in real life!

Incidentally terry's early work such as strata and colour of magic show how crap his work was until he realised that sci-fi alone wasn't enough and started to tell stories with more than one joke.

The last hero could be a big mistake because not all of us like to see nice big pictures and pay twice what we're used to for the privilege. They labelled the wrong book "for younger readers". I stopped reading with my finger and oohing at the nicely coloured pictures when I was eight.

Lynch parties and assassins are welcome to contact me directly at the e-mail address supplied.

* From: "Torben Hutchings" ( )
Hi! I'm a fourteen year old Discworld fan and computer nerd (without the weird glasses) living in Denmark (a tiny country south of Norway and Sweden. Boring as hell. Hell, that is, as in "Eric".). I am looking for the Discworld games but the only one I could find was expensive and did not work (half way through and "wham!" Is it a virus? Is it a fault? No it is Bill Gates). Have all the games already come off the market or am I just unlucky? Please tell me! My life won't be the same without something to stop my brain from turning into cream cheese!!!!

* From: "Werner van Huffel" ( )
"Computing with ants"

I guess it was only a matter of time till this reality followed the Discworld....

* From: "Fabian" ( )
Once upon a time, somebody tried to discourage me from reading Discworld novels in original as English practice (my native is not English but Polish), due to it's specific language. Nothing much wrong! I tried it and now I'm through 15 of them funny buggers, and I would be through all of them if they cost a little less.

But, how it is that I couldn't find a Discworld glossary on Babylon website!?!

To make you feel even more ashamed, I can say that there is Harry Potter glossary there, with all ancient words and names in it, and a proper load of Hogswarts history, and it is there from very beginning of the books' popularity! Damn useful, too.

And the Discworld story is older! Should have developed it ages ago! It could really help non-english readers to enjoy Terry's books, and maybe encourage more of them to read them in original (which is twice as funny an in translation, I can ensure you).

I hope that somebody will fix it at least. Think about possibilities! It could include not only some ancient English words, but for example names of all Archancellors of Unseen University, Discworld s gods CV's, or even some of famous Discworld songs (especially a witchy one, if you know what I mean ;-).

And there could be many glossaries, a really hot fan could create his/her own - a great opportunity to become, for example, an unregistered Ankh-Morpork historian or Discworld geographer, isn't it?

Of course you can still find sth in for example, but if you once tried Babylon you find it bloody useful and it s a pity it's still Discworld-free. Is it possible that none of you use it? If that's the case, try htp://

The Turtle Still Moves, I assume

* From: Gerhard Uibel ( )
In last DWM I asked if Terry might be afraid of horses and if a man really could run faster than a horse - I got so many letters in return that I have to say Thank You to all who wrote, and there were so many different opinions and "proofs" that the problem could not be solved entirely. The following statement came from Vivian McRae ( ): I think we are forgetting two things - first, we are talking about the Discworld, not planet earth, so the physical characteristics are not necessarily the same. Lots of things happen which couldn't happen here. Second, this is Rincewind who has been running away from trouble for a very long time and has become very good at it! Perhaps we should just let it go?

* From: "Robert McKenzie" ( )
There is a running joke that due to number of signings that PTerry does, an unsigned book is worth more than a signed one ! Does anyone know the origin of this gag?

Way back around 1979 the first made-for-TV episode of Douglas Adams' Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy received a special screening at the National Film Theatre before it was broadcast on TV. Before it was shown there was a specially recorded trailer featuring the voice of the book, Peter Jones. During this trailer he cracks the gag about Douglas Adams books, Adams having just been on a mammoth signing tour.

Is there anything that pre-dates this?

* From: "Mark & Jan" ( )
I would like to point out the similarity between characters in Terry Pratchett's book "The Truth" and Neil Gaiman's " Neverwhere".

Both have two enforcer types with one being small and rat like and the other built like a wall.

Both of these have one of the characters having an unexpected cultured side to them!

Both sets of characters are called Mr ... !

Seems a bit too of a coincidence and also these writers were linked before.

Neil Gaiman's book was first published in 1996 and Terry Pratchett's in 2000 ... who is copying who?

I would like to know if anyone else has spotted this and what the answer is since I am a fan of both writers.

4. Birthday Trivia Part 5

This is the fifth instalment of five questions from my birthday trivia quiz. All questions were written by William Barnett so if the answers are wrong, once again blame him.

What is the specialist subject of Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch and Evil-Smelling Bugger?
Who has a sticker on the back of her carriage saying 'Whinny if You Love Dragons'?
What does the Librarian say when he's really agitated?
Which member of the Watch rubs his helmet the most?
Name 3 pupils in Susan's class in The Thief of Time.

The answers can of course be found in the final section of the newsletter.

5. Competition Result: ISIS Audio Books.

Last month we gave you the opportunity to enter our latest mouth watering competition with ISIS publishing. The winning prize is an audio book of The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents and also an audio book of The Fifth Elephant signed by both Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs. The second and third prizes are audio books of The Amazing Maurice.

We asked the question: How many Discworld audio products are for sale on the Isis web site (counting multiple versions of books)?

Depending on when you sent your answer in (ISIS updated their web site in early March) it was either 43 or 44. Obviously we accepted either value.

The randomly selected winner is David Blakeman from the UK, and the two runners up are Paul Brown from the UK and Sarah Simonds from the USA.

Your prizes should shortly be on their way.

ISIS should soon be sending one of their product catalogues to everyone that entered the competition. In the meantime you can always look at the ISIS web site at

6. Competition Result: New Cunning Artificer Creation

Last month we gave you opportunity to bid to have your name carved into Bernard Pearson's new Discworld creation. The highest bid we received was for 300.00GBP by Melanie Vincent. Melanie asked to have the name of a very dear chum and fan of Discworld on the creation instead.

The money raised will soon be presented to the Orangutan Foundation in London. We would like to thank everyone that took place in the auction and The Cunning Artificer for providing the prize.

More information can be found about the Orangutan Foundation at and about Bernard Pearson at

7. Review: Thud The First Ever Discworld Board Game

by Jason Anthony

I must admit I've only played a couple of games of Thud so far, so this review may be a little premature. When I first heard there was a Discworld board game I was expecting some variation on Snakes and Ladders, but what the designers have come up with is more like chess. Thud is a game of strategy and planning.

The game pieces consist of 32 Dwarfs and 8 Trolls and the Thud stone which effectively just sits in the centre of the board and prevents either side becoming too powerful.

Thud is played by two players on an eight-sided board. One player plays the Trolls and the other the Dwarfs. Once the first game has been completed the players swap sides and the result of the two rounds decides the winner.

It is important to read and understand all the rules of the game. The first time I tried to play I thought the Dwarfs where severely underpowered and were easily defeated until I realized I'd misread one of the rules and was attenuating their powers.

Once we sorted that rule out we found the balance of power shifted significantly and Richard's more calculating mind left my trolls heavily reduced in numbers.

It is also worth noting that a full game of Thud tends to take up quite a lot of time. Our most recent game took about two hours to complete and resulted in a draw.

The game set I have been using is the gamers set which has 32 identical Dwarfs and 8 identical Trolls. The basic gamers set costs just under 50GBP. If you would prefer individual Dwarfs and Trolls you can get one of the more expensive sets that range in price from around 99GBP to just under 400GBP.

We found Thud to be a highly enjoyable game and I will be at the Grand Thud day on the 1st April at The Cunning Artificer's shop in Wincanton, Somerset. Remember if you mention the phrase "Jason Anthony has trouble with his socks" to Bernard at the event he will give you a chocolate egg.

For more information about Thud and the Grand Thud day visit

8. Recipe: Dry Hot Rat Curry

Discovered by Maiyuran Arumugam ( )

Something I came across in the Australian Sydney Morning Herald, Weekend Edition (Feb 2-3) on Page 9:


For 400g ricefield rat meat, blend these items into a smooth paste:

6 pieces fresh galangal)
2 cloves garlic
1 onion
skin from half a kaffir lime
10 dry chillis
2 tspns lemongrass
1 tspn salt or shrimp paste
1/2 tspn ground pepper

Fry in 4 tbspns vegetable oil

Add meat and stir-fry

Season to taste with fish sauce, sugar and fresh basil.

This was in fact about an article on some CSIRO research in Vietnam, and also came up with the wonderful quote about farmers who catch the rats:

"They regard it as good beer-drinking food"

Perhaps certain dwarves have been intermingling with the locals?

9. Update: Discworld Convention 2002

With the Convention a scant 5 months away our progress is speeding up and everything is starting to take on that slightly frantic but exciting aspect. Will the Discworld Convention be the best weekend you have this year? We're doing our utmost to make it your best weekend this century.


The Hanover International is already booked to be more than half-full (currently 53%) for the Convention. We can't advise you strongly enough to get your booking forms in as soon as possible: not only may you not be able to get the type of room you're after if you leave it too late, but more importantly you run the risk of not getting a room at all. And everybody wants to be staying at the very heart of the action. Printable booking forms can be found on our web site or sent to you if you contact us via the usual Convention address.


And while we're talking about the hotel (because it is lovely), we'll take the opportunity to remind you about our Sharers Wanted section on the web site. If you want to book a room at the hotel but have nobody to share with (which, understandably, could make costs prohibitive for some), check out the Sharers page (in the Venue section) on the website and you'll more than likely find someone else in the same situation. A happy outcome for all can then be ensured by our hotel team.


We are delighted to announce the availability of some new and exclusive Convention merchandise. Our online shop - - currently displays these items in full technicolour (ahem), but in brief our newest addition is:

The "Rocket Wizard" T-shirt. Text reads "Actually I am a Rocket Wizard". Available in black on white and white on black (those of you with old black and white monitors will really be missing out). They come in a variety of different sizes ranging from Small to XXLarge.

Based on the image from The Last Hero, the shirts feature a similar V-neck design as shown in the painting of Ponder Stibbons. They are produced using heavy duty 100% cotton Fruit of the Loom V-neck short sleeve shirts with quality printing.

ONLY 10.99GBP - Limited edition. 1.00GBP from each sale donated to The Orangutan Foundation!


Our membership number has now topped (and swiftly overtaken) the 550 mark. We're receiving new memberships by the day, but don't forget to tell your friends and spread the word. An extra special birthday present for the discerning Discworld fan? A more exciting gift than a book token? We know there are lots of people out there who would leap at the chance to come to the Convention, but who as yet haven't heard about it. Please lend us your support and tell everybody who you think would be interested about the premier Discworld event of 2002. And to show our appreciation, to every Convention member who refers five friends (full or supporting memberships -- tell them to write your name and membership number on the envelope or to send an email to ) we'll give a 15GBP Convention merchandise voucher.


Just one of the many delights of this year's Convention Programme Book will be an *exclusive* piece written by Terry Pratchett. This rare highlight will make the Programme Book a collectors' item, and for you -- the lucky members -- it's already part of the deal. This even includes supporting members! The Programme Book *may* become available to non-members after the Convention, but we can't gurantee this, so don't risk losing out!

More information about the Discworld Convention 2002 can be found at

10. The End

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* Birthday Trivia Results *

What is the specialist subject of Evil-Minded Son of a Bitch and Evil-Smelling Bugger?

Who has a sticker on the back of her carriage saying 'Whinny if You Love Dragons'?
Lady Sybil Ramkin

What does the Librarian say when he's really agitated?

Which member of the Watch rubs his helmet the most?

Name 3 pupils in Susan's class in The Thief of Time.
Jason, Billy, Richenda, Emma, Miranda, Samuel, Vincent, Melanie, Penelope, Gordon

* Obtaining Terry's Books *

If you are looking for Terry books or videos over the net, simply visit our web page at and follow the 'Purchasing' link on the left panel of the page.

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