Discworld Monthly - Issue 70: February 2003

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 70. In last month's editorial I forgot to mention the web sites for Clarecraft and the 2004 Convention. Clarecraft can be found at www.clarecraft.co.uk and the 2004 Convention at www.dwcon.org/

I must also apologize for the email from Yahoo you probably received this month about a poll. I was, rather sadly, looking around the group settings and came across the polls section and was exploring what options were available. Unfortunately Yahoo decided that I wanted to email everyone in the list without first letting me know. For security reasons I have the mailing list set up to ask for confirmation on all posts, but Yahoo bypassed its own security on that one. You can imagine my surprise when the complaints started! I hereby promise to never again play with the polls settings on Yahoo Groups and hope you will all forgive me.

I recently received an email with brief information about "The Big Read" which is apparently a BBC-run campaign to find the nation's favourite book. The email went on to mention that fans of certain authors are planning to vote big to get their favourite author selected.

Finally we have decided that as Discworld Monthly is a non-profit- making organization we would set up a new domain to reflect this. From now on all emails should be sent to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk and our main web page can be accessed via www.discworldmonthly.org/

--
Jason Anthony (Editor) info@discworldmonthly.co.uk
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Dad-dy!)

2. News

Picocon 20 is to be held on the 22 February 2003 at Imperial College, London in South Kensington. Guests of Honour are Gwyneth Jones and Jack Cohen. Other authors (not confirmed) will be attending. Tickets are 8 GBP for adults and 5 GBP for students and include the day's activities of Author talks, Networked UT, Booksellers stalls and the Destruction of Dodgy Merchandise. For further information, contact Jo Bailey at picocon@icsf.org.uk or by s-mail @ 226A Battersea Park Road, London SW11 4ND.

South London Theatre will be staging Carpe Jugulum in June 2003. More details at ~~www.southlondontheatre.co.uk/productions/2003/jugs/~~

Bernard "The Cunning Artificer" Pearson is having another event. Those of you who enjoyed the December 2002 Hogswatch / Twinning event will be pleased to hear that a date has been set for the next Artificer gathering. Saturday 24th May and Sunday 25th May should now be marked down in your diary as 'must go to Wincanton'! Various festivities will be taking place including the traditional Sausage Supper. Terry Pratchett will of course be hanging around too.

More details will be available on http://www.artificer.co.uk

Irene Dramatic Society will be performing Wyrd Sisters on Friday & Saturday 21st & 22nd February, & Saturday 1st March at Irene Village Hall, Pioneer Rd., Irene. Centurion, South Africa, at 7.30pm. Tickets @ R35 each can be obtained from Pat - tele. 270126653651 or 0834617580.

Wadfest 2003 will take place from Sept 19th-21st 2003 at Callow Top Holiday Park, Ashbourne, Derbyshire. Invited Guests include: Terry Pratchett, Bernard Pearson, Stephen Briggs, Paul Kidby & Trevor Truran.

This year it was decided that the event would take place on a site that offered more in the way of amenities such as toilets and showers.

Due to increased costs the price this year has gone up to 10GBP per adult camping for the weekend. School children go free when accompanied by a paying adult. (If children want to stay in their own tent there will be an additional charge of 5 GBP). For ticket information visit the official Wadfest web site at ~~www.wadmeister.co.uk/wadfest/2003/2003.htm~~

The next International Terry Pratchett Meetup Day will be Monday, February 3rd. Details at tpratchett.meetup.com/

Meetup creates real-world group gatherings about anything anywhere. We've built a technology and a network of venues (cafes, bars, etc.) that can help any interest group easily organize local monthly meetups in over 540 cities across 31 countries.

A small Thud demonstration will be taking place at Hammicks, Horsham on Saturday 8th March 2003 in the early afternoon which replaces the previously announced date in February. Bernard Pearson and Trevor Truran will be attending and providing valuable tips. All are very welcome if you can already play all the better. The organiser would love to flood the centre of Horsham with Discworld fans.

On February 14th, the Hamrahlid College Drama Club will premiere an Icelandic translation of Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters, adapted by Stephen Briggs.

For further information contact the head of the Drama Club, Arni Kristjansson, at sir_bingham@hotmail.com

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

VimesLady VimesLady@attbi.com writes: I am desperately seeking a copy of the 1999 Discworld Day-by-Day Calendar. Used is okay as long as the original text and artwork is intact and all the pages are present. Please contact me, including lowest price at which you are willing to part with it.

Ant1ben@aol.com writes: Many years ago I borrowed Eric (as a graphic novel) from the library. I have since bought the short novel version but cannot find a graphic version anywhere. Can you help?

Clare Walsh writes: I am looking for suitable DOS drivers to get the first two Discworld games working properly on my computer. I have an AMD K6-2 processor, Voodoo 3500 3Dfx graphics card and something like a SoundBlaster soundcard. I currently have a basic DOS and Windows 95, but I can only play DW2 if I install and play the whole thing in one go without switching the computer off!

DW1 does not work at all, which is a pity. Please could someone help?

Karen Relton kagsy@relton0101.freeserve.co.uk writes: I'm trying to get in touch with a guy I met through DWM a few years back, and I was hoping he's still an avid reader... His name is Howie, and he's from New Jersey, and used to email under the address Owl_Spirit (various servers!). Is he still there? Does anybody know where I can find him??? Also, if there's any Discworld Diaries collectors out there, I have mint copies of both the 1999 (City Watch) and 2000 (Assasin's Guild) Diaries to sell. 5GBP each, plus p&p - email me!

Rosa Feltmann rosauu@hotmail.com writes: I'm a new fan of the Discworld books, even though I've only read one (The Truth). I'm definitely intrigued, and I would love to read more, but here in Greece where I live it's impossible to find any books by Terry Pratchett. So I was wondering if someone has second-hand copies they would be willing to sell. Preferably the complete series. I saw somebody offering the first 25 books at a nice price some months ago, but I was too slow, I guess. Thanks in advance...

Rosa Morley Souter rozi53@hotmail.com writes: I missed all seven episodes of "Guards Guards" that were dramatised on BBC digital radio 7 (Internet radio) and it's terribly frustrating! So if anyone recorded all the eps, please please please could they burn them onto CD and send them to me? Email me for my address. Don't try to email me with them, Hotmail cana cope cap'en!

Matthew Smith matthew.smith@tesco.net writes: I have a large collection of Discworld books, maps and other sundry items that I no longer have space for. I wish to sell these items on to someone who will appreciate them as much as I have?

Sarah Woodhouse sarah@harm-none.fsnet.co.uk writes: "The Discworld Library Community is a small but friendly ezboard community that is part of my Discworld website. We've just got Gold Community which means no more evil banners or pop-ups and we've got some cool new gadgets and gizmos like Live Chat to brighten up the place. So if you love Discworld (and would you be getting this newsletter if you didn't? :o) ) please come along and join the fun!"

You can find us here: ~~pub2.ezboard.com/bdiscworldlibrary~~

Jason Rubino Felix_Armor@Yahoo.com writes: I currently have 10
unabridged Discworld books on CD. The books I have are: The Colour of Magic, The Light Fantastic, Equal Rites, Mort Sourcery, Wyrd Sisters, Guards! Guards!, Reaper Man, Witches Abroad Lords and Ladies. I am looking for unabridged versions of Pyramids and Moving Pictures. If anyone would like to make a trade, please contact me.

Joanne (Dash) j.reeves-baker@virgin.net writes: Just wanting to pick your brains. Is there a website that does a synopsis of Pratchett's Characters, particularly ones in Interesting Times?? We at the Purple Theatre Company are putting on a production and I would like to give the cast some useful hints.

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters/comments, please email info@discworldmonthly.co.uk

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters and sell your stories to the tabloid press.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

This month the Letter of the Month prize is a copy of 'Guilty of Literature' - a paperback book about Terry Pratchett's work. Copies of Guilty of Literature, along with Clarecraft's Discworld figurines, Diaries & Calendars, Thud and much more are available from www.bonsaitrading.com

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* From: Hjayfour@aol.com
*
A couple of months ago, an old school teacher of mine remembered that I liked to read Discworld books and got in contact with me, to tell me that they had got a book to give me. When they came round to my house, the book turned out to be a 1971 first edition hardback of the Carpet People. The cover appeared to be all wrinkled up like it had got wet, but it turned out to be a plastic cover it had been put in. Before opening the book I studied the cover art, a cartoon-style picture of the sugar lump with all the animals around it. When opening the book to find out who drew it, I figured out why I'd been given the book for free. It had once belonged to three different libraries. The book is filled with ticket holders, book stamps, codes written on in biro, and loads of dog-eared pages. The most recent library was throwing it out, and it had only been taken out twice, once in 1982, and once in 1989. I was deeply disappointed by the libraries' treatment of the book, which is still in reasonable condition. It turns out the pictures were drawn by Terry Pratchett himself, and there are quite a lot of them in the book. The only good thing that came out of getting the book was the inspiration for me to read it again. I shouldn't really complain about it, it was free after all!

JA replies: I certainly wouldn't complain too much. Even in relatively poor condition I bet it's worth a few pounds.

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* From: "Elinor Deputy" Elenelna@aol.com
*
My name is Elinor Deputy and I am 20 years old. I have been reading Discworld novels since I was about 16, maybe younger, and I have loved each and every one. I have a genetic disease called Cystic Fibrosis and I do not have it as bad as some others but I have been in hospital four times this year having intravenous antibiotics and the one thing that has kept me happy and cheered me up has been my Discworld books. My favourite ones involve the witches. I guess my main reason for writing this email to you was so that I could thank everyone involved in the books and pictures and models and newsletters.

I have no means of getting to functions to meet Terry Pratchett himself but would love him to know how much his books help me get away from myself and make me laugh.

So thank you and I hope everyone has a good New Year.

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* From: "Ashwan" lewisas1@msu.edu
*
I'm an avid reader of PTerry's books and also a biologist... I just read the letter from Max Hannan in the last newsletter... and I'm not sure what Max implies, but I think he's got it the wrong way around. J.B.S. Haldane was very well known British biologist who spent the last years of his life in India.

The quote that Max speaks of is from a well known essay "On Being the Right Size" written by Haldane way back in 1928. So I'd say it was Haldane-ness appearing in PTerry's works rather than the other way around. In any case, the essay can be found on the net in numerous places, one of which is ~~entomology.unl.edu/lgh/ent108/on_being_the_right_size.htm~~

Just thought I should point this out...

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* From: "Debi Linton" d.linton@ucl.ac.uk
*
In reference to Max Hannan's letter about J.B.S. Haldane - whom I can assure you was a renowned British zoologist - the same man is credited with, when asked what his work on biodiversity had led him to learn about the Lord, replying 'An inordinate fondness of beetles'

Remind anyone of the God of Evolution in The Last Continent?

*
* From: "Katy Jennison" katy@hawkstone.clara.net
*
Pratchett fans may want to know (and I'm going to tell you, even if you don't) that J B S Haldane (not Haldene), 1892-1964, was indeed a very renowned scientist, but in addition to his many scientific publications he wrote children's stories. Some of these are collected in 'My Friend Mr Leakey' (first published in 1937), and I've just dug out my rather ancient copy and re-read it. It includes a small dragon called Pompey who grills fish for the magician Mr Leakey, and it also mentions the retro-ageing (to coin a phrase) which afflicts jinns as they get older, such as growing a lot of extra teeth, and their eyesight getting so keen that they start to see right through things unless they wear smoked glasses. And there's a party where two of the guests are a devil and the archangel Raphael.

I'd forgotten all about it, but I wonder if PTerry, like me, enjoyed the book as a child ...

*
* From: "Jennie Sheffield" sheje267@student.otago.ac.nz
*
I don't know about anyone else, but I have noticed certain similarities between Geoffry Chaucer's the Wife of Bath and Terry Pratchett's Nanny Ogg. After speaking to a few of my friends about it, I am now about to begin a year-long research essay at the University of Otago. I would be grateful for more thoughts / observations on this from other fans.

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* From: "Soul Music" eldandili@hotmail.com
*
I, as have many TP fans, have met Terry, at a book signing here in Victoria, Australia, which happen rarely. Having to give up during the day, we returned at night to find the line just as long. But we had time!!! So, after slowly making our way towards Terry for about 1 and a half hours, our moment, our brief brush with fame and Terry Pratchett, finally came! Unfortunately, after signing books all day, he was no longer extremely enthusiastic, and didn't talk a lot, possibly because he had just noticed the big pile of books we carried. He was, however, surprised to find that we had bought along a first edition hardback (though previously library owned) copy of Carpet People. What made me smile was the fact that he didn't just sign his name, he wrote dear ... and either wrote or drew something about the book he was signing, for instance: on The Last Hero, he wrote: To Emma The Song Remains Terry Pratchett. And on one for my sister, Small Gods, he drew a turtle, very quickly, and it took us half the way home in the car to work out exactly what it was.

p.s. Anyone in New Zealand, I Love Your Country!!!!! especially Lothlorien!

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* From: "Yonatan Krikov" krik@barak.net.il
*
I asked Terry about the extra 16 illustration in the paperback version of "The Last Hero" and this is his reply: "'Cos that's what the publisher decided. I guess it was better that doing it with 16 fewer:-)". Just thought it's worth mentioning.

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* From: "Richard Cardwell" r.cardwell@virgin.net
*
In reply to Deb McFarlen's letter of DWM 69: I hope it doesn't sound too Nanny Ogg-ish, but "shortnin' bread" is a euphemism for her favourite pursuit. And it isn't baking.

DWM replies: Thanks also to Weirdwolf weirdwolf@ntlworld.com for pointing this out.

*
* From: "Gene Bennett" gbennett@ci.everett.wa.us
*
Several (OK, at least two) people have voiced the opinion that the paperback edition of "The Last Hero", with more paintings than the hardcover edition, is a blatant attempt to extort more money from the customer. I disagree, it's a different edition, and things change from edition to edition; I can compare my first edition paperback of "Sourcery" to the recent republication and they are different. That's how the book business works, and yes, it is an attempt to make money - that's how free enterprise works.

One disappointed fan wrote:

> I simply cannot afford to buy it again, and I hate being
> disappointed by anything connected with Terry

All I can say to that is that PTerry himself would probably have to float a loan from J. K. Rowling to buy "Everything PTerry"! I'm sorry you are feeling ripped-off, but trust me, it's nothing personal. :-)

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* From: "Stuart" stuart@sd-associates.co.uk
*
Jhayiph was looking for the music for the hymn 'Lo He comes....' to match the words of Trampling the Infidels. For everyone's information, the tune printed in both Hymns Ancient and Modern and The English Hymnal is Helmsley, although I always used to sing it at school to the tune Westminster Abbey. Looking at the metre of Lo He comes, it would probably also work with Cwm Rhondda. All three are in both hymn books.

For those without access to these hymn books, especially our overseas friends, I have pdf files of all three tunes - if anyone wants them, just e-mail me.

*
* From: "Cathrine Mole" cathrine@intoweb.co.za
*
I live on the southern most tip of Africa, and heard a rumour that TP once visited our fine country and based Scumble on a drink he had here (South Africa), in a pub. Can anybody back this up? This is what I hate about urban legends.... I'm sure there's one going around that TP invented Scumble from a human finger found in a coke can. What does a TP fan do this far away from everything.... I could pretend to be Terry, and sign my vast collection of Discworld books... but it wouldn't be the same. I have considered opening a dwarf bread museum... and starting a little fan faction here. I suppose there's lots of red tape involved. Are there many South African subscribers? Where are they.... where are they hiding? Myself and my fan friends have so many personal little sayings. "Don't go Bursar... I'll be there in a sec...." or even better..... "He really is a great guy... He's such a carrot". Sigh.......at least there's the newsletter. Thank You.

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* From: "Linda" linda@ihag.freeserve.co.uk
*
I thought you would like to know that I found Discworld Noir in PC World under their own label re-issue of "famous" games (like Tomb Raider, Theme Park and so on) for a fiver (5 GB Pounds) and gave it to my brother for Christmas!

*
* From: "Adam Corres" a.g.corres@soton.ac.uk
*
Last month Charlie asked about Hitchhiker fans:

Yep - also a Hitchhiker & PTerry fan. Have you thought of joining the Hitchhiker's Guide Appreciation Society? It's got a global membership and also runs Terry Pratchett book reviews in its magazine sometimes months before publication. If you want to be the first to hear about the Nac Mac Feegle, I bet it will show up here first. Membership is about six quid, there's a members, discussion email list and they have great parties (one was New Year's Eve). You'll find them on the internet at www.zz9.org or zz9pluralzalpha or email membership@zz9.org In the magazine about to be published there will be news of the HHG Motion Picture, Kakapo updates and an original interview with Douglas Adams's widow Jane Belson. Terry Pratchett has submitted a cartoon and sent cards to the Society in the past, and Robert Rankin and Neil Gaiman have occasional input. John Lloyd (HHG & Blackadder) has also recently joined. Worth signing up for, even if you're just interested in the 'Pratchett watching' aspect.

As for the spelling of Hitchhikers, Douglas Adams himself has, at one time or another, used about five variations: Hitch-hiker's, Hitch-hikers, Hitchhiker's, Hitchhikers and Hitchikers. Then again, he was never happy with anything he did, was he?

*
* From: "Rosemary" rosemary@effect.net.au
*
Would any of the fans in XXXX be interested in getting a group together to go to the next Discworld Convention in 2004? If there are any, maybe we could arrange something - either that or try to get an auxiliary convention going down under.

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* From: "Penny Sokolowski" pennys@cybernetisp.net
*
I am an avid Discworld reader from the US, and need help. I recently purchased a Discworld Noir game in the UK. Imagine my disappointment when it wouldn't run on my computer. This may be "old hat" to most of you, but would someone mind sending out suggestions as to how I can get this game to install on my machine? I would very much appreciate any help you can provide with suggestions, websites to search, etc. A sad Discworld game playing wannabe....

*
* From: "G. E. Wilker" gewilker@eudoramail.com
*
Regarding the bits about Dwarves in Two Towers that David Hopper mentioned: Actually, PTerry's a Tolkien fan. Everything Gimli said about Dwarf women is said in the appendices to Lord of the Rings, which are really a good read. Aragorn's comment about "it's the beards, you know", however, is a cinematic invention. (And a good one.)

WB replies: They're not a good read, actually. They're boring.

*
* From: "Neal Buccino" neal10k@yahoo.com
*
For more info about Tolkien's female Dwarves check out any of the better-researched Tolkien Websites, the best being www.glyphweb.com/arda (The Encyclopedia of Arda). The real question The Tolk left unanswered is: Are there female Orcs?

*
* From: "P.J.Morant" P.Morant@btinternet.com
*
It is evident that PTerry knows of Robert E. Howard's superhero Conan, but I wonder if he has read any of Howard's short stories about the western superhero Breckenridge Elkins.

I used to read these in a pulp magazine "Action Stories" back in the 1930's and have recently managed to buy them, in a collected form, in three second hand hardback books, titled "The Pride of Bear Creek", "Mayhem on Bear Creek" and "A Gent From Bear creek".

They are extremely funny and well worth the slightly elevated price.

There is a rare paperback version called "Heroes of Bear Creek" which contains virtually all of the stories in the above three books.

I tracked my copies down through Amazon.com's UK and American second hand book suppliers.

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* From: "Agnes Boddington" weatherwax@weatherwax.karoo.co.uk
*
In newsletter issue 69, Michael Birch wanted to know if Esmeralda Weatherwax is still single. Well, I'm afraid you're too late, as she had an unfortunate accident under my husband's foot. However, all is not lost: Eskarina the Wizard-Witch is still single and available: she's almost two, beautiful, small, furry and shares her cage with fellow guinea pig and Esme's sister Pooky. Apart from that I have some Malawi cichlid fish named after various characters from Discworld (and my family think I'm weird!).

*
* From: "veronica" froschi@iprimus.com.au
*
I've been enjoying the Discworld Monthly newsletters as a relative newbie, and would just like to tell you about my best-ever Christmas gift. This year, my 11-year-old son spent all his pocket money savings to buy me "Night Watch", thereby treating me to my very first brand-new hardcopy Discworld novel. Having "discovered" TP only three years ago, I have been scrounging charity shops, library book sales and flea markets ever since (between frequent library visits) in the hope of building up a collection I soon realised second-hand TP novels are as scarce as hen's teeth, and what a wonderful reflection on Terry's enduring popularity and reader loyalty this is. My meagre tally so far: the first stories "Colour of Magic" and "The Light Fantastic", but now the glorious addition of a pristine copy of Terry's latest book! I'm very proud of my son's generosity and thoughtfulness.

DWM replies: Letter of the Month goes to Veronica.

*
* From: "Andrea, April & Cari" adenning@execpc.com
*
An article in the Monday, 2 December 2002 issue of Milwaukee (WI, USA) Journal-Sentinel reads:

EMERGING TERRITORY

A volcanic island submerged off the coast of Sicily could soon reappear if Mount Aetna's seismic activity continues, according to Italy's chief seismologist. The island, referred to by the scientific community as Graham Bank, is located between Sicily and Tunisia. The peak of its volcano has been around 25 feet beneath the surface of the Mediterranean for the past 170 years, except for a brief appearance in 1831. At that time, it rose 213 feet above the sea's surface and had a circumference of three miles. Its six-month emergence triggered a diplomatic conflict among nations that made various territorial claims, including Britain, Spain and the Bourbon court of Sicily. Sicilian divers have planted a flag on the submerged rock in the hope of claiming it the moment it rises above the surface.

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* From: "Peter Halpin" halpin@keyaccess.nl
*
Concerning the development of Sam Vimes' character I can't help get the impression that PTerry is - like me - an admirer of that much-maligned real-life hero Oliver Cromwell. Like Cromwell, Vimes despises any monarchy and is quite rigid in his adherence to what he believes to be the "right thing". And we shouldn't forget that even Cromwell liked a drink now and again, despite what his detractors would have us believe. Then compare the rise of the AMCW to that of the New Model Army - despite Nobby's best attempts to arm himself with EVERYTHING in sight - and the parallels can't be denied. I'll leave it to other readers to find more common points, but they are there. And Vimes' grudging admiration for Vetinari is rather refreshing: you could almost say that Vetinari is the antithesis of Charles I.

Sam Vimes has really come alive for me in Night Watch: a genuine character with depth.

*
* From: "Benjamin" golgari@planet-interkom.de
*
Yesterday, as I opened the first Discworld book I saw, it was first published in 1983.

That Means: 20th Anniversary in 2003 !!!!

I like to greet all Discworld fans in the world, and want to say:

Let's celebrate !!! ;)

*
* From: "Donovan S Bisbee" sgthaggis@juno.com
*
In looking through the readers' letters it occurred to me that I hadn't seen one on the person I believe to be the funniest Discworld character. The Bursar has made me laugh since the first book I read with him in it (The Last Continent) and for the next three weeks burst out into laughter anyone mentioned surfing or anything having to do with the spectacular bushes on the island. I have just found the first "performance" of the Bursar we all know and love in Moving Pictures. My favorite times with the Bursar come around when he takes a few too many dried frog pills such as in Lords and Ladies which led to such quotes as "Stop again tomorrow Baker we'll have a crusty one", "Two pints of eel Mr. flowerpot if you would be so kind", and my all time favorite Discworld quote "Millennium hand and Shrimp" all during a time when elves are taking over Lancre. Well that is my opinion.

4. Disc Trivia

William "Mr Trivia" Barnett is back with some more brain teasers for
you. Continuing this month with books 16-20, he'll be asking one question per book, in chronological order, until he runs out of books or questions.

Q15.: Which long-running Discworld character debuts in Soul Music?
Q16.: What does D.M.H. stand for in the name D.M.H. Dibhala? (IT)
Q17.: What are the 3 classic types you need for a coven of witches? (M)
Q18.: Who is first to solve the mystery of Vetinari's poisoning? (FoC)
Q19.: Which four of the following are genuine Hogfather hogs: Humper, Gouger, Tusker, Grunter, Rooter, Growler, Cottontail, Snouter? (H)

As always the answers can be found at the end of this issue.

5. Competition: Win a limited edition BBC7 T-Shirt

BBC7 the new digital radio station that has recently run the radio adaptation of Guards! Guards! have offered us a limited edition BBC Radio 7 T-Shirt in a new competition.

Send the answer to the following question to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk before 19th February 2002.

Q. What fictional Radio Norwich DJ is mentioned in the "Office" greeting card? Check out the following URL to get your answer:

~~www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/greetings~~

Possible Answers:

A) Adrian Peartree
B) Arthur Frenchhen
C) Alan Partridge

To listen to BBC7 over the Internet or to find out more information about this new station visit www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7

6. Advertising Blurb: The Wee Free Men - US & UK Editions

Colin Smythe, Terry's agent, has provided us with publicity blurb from the American edition of THE WEE FREE MEN, which is to be published next May.

"Another world is colliding with this one," said the toad. "All the monsters are coming back."
"Why?" said Tiffany.
"There's no one to stop them."
There was silence for a moment. Then Tiffany said, "There's me."

In a thrilling tale that is equal parts suspense and humor, Carnegie Medallist Terry Pratchett spins the story of a young witch-to-be named Tiffany Aching who must journey through the terrifying and ever-shifting dreamscape of Fairyland to rescue her kidnapped brother.

Armed only with a frying pan, Tiffany is all that stands between the monsters of Fairyland and the chalk country that is her home. Her sole allies are the Wee Free Men -- a clan of sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men, as fierce as they are funny. Together, they battle through Fairyland, where reality intertwines with nightmare, before confronting its absolute ruler: the Queen of the Elves. And in the ultimate showdown, Tiffany must face her cruel power alone...

(HarperCollins are planning to publish an edition of TRUCKERS, DIGGERS and WINGS for the American market in Fall 2003.)

The UK edition, which apparently has a superb Paul Kidby cover will have this to say:

There's trouble on the Aching farm - a monster in the river, a headless horseman in the driveway and nightmares spreading down from the hills. And now Tiffany Aching's little brother has been stolen by the Queen of the Fairies (although Tiffany doesn't think this is entirely a bad thing).

Tiffany's got to get him back. To help her, she has a weapon (a frying pan), her granny's magic book (well, 'Diseases of the Sheep', actually) and ---

'Crivens! Whut aboot us, ye daftie!'

--- oh yes. She's also got the Nac Mac Feegles, the Wee Free Men, the fightin', thieving', tiny blue-skinned pictsies who were thrown out of Fairyland for being Drunk and Disorderly...

A wise, witty and wonderfully inventive adventure set in the Discworld.

7. Lyrics: How Do They Rise Up?

Iver Schulte schulte@stud.fh-hannover.de writes: If the lyrics to "How Do They Rise Up?" are still missing, the lines should go like this:

All the little angels rise up, rise up;
All the little angels rise up high.
How do they rise up, rise up, rise up;
How do they rise up, rise up high?
They rise knees up, knees up, knees up,
All the little angels rise up high.

See the little angels rise up, rise up;
See the little angels rise up high.
See how they rise up, rise up, rise up;
See how they rise up, rise up high?
They rise hands up, hands up, hands up,
See the little angels rise up high.

All the little angels rise up, rise up;
All the little angels rise up high.
How do they rise up, rise up, rise up;
How do they rise up, rise up high?
They rise feet up, feet up, feet up,
All the little angels rise up high.

See the little angels rise up, rise up;
See the little angels rise up high.
See how they rise up, rise up, rise up;
See how they rise up, rise up high?
They rise heads up, heads up, heads up,
All the little angels rise up high.

All the little angels rise up, rise up;
See the little angels rise up high.
How do they rise up, rise up, rise up;
See how they rise up, rise up high?
They rise ARSE up, arse up, arse up,
See the little angels rise up high.

8. The End

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The latest Discworld book released in paperback was Thief of Time 0552148407/87 and the latest hardback was Night Watch 0385602642/87

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* Trivia Results *

Q15.: Which long-running Discworld character debuts in Soul Music?
A15.: Susan Sto Helit, Death's granddaughter
Q16.: What does D.M.H. stand for in the name D.M.H. Dibhala? (IT)
A16.: Disembowel-Meself-Honourably
Q17.: What are the 3 classic types you need for a coven of witches? (M)
A17.: The maiden, the mother and the crone
Q18.: Who is first to solve the mystery of Vetinari's poisoning? (FoC)
A18.: Vetinari himself
Q19.: Which four of the following are genuine Hogfather hogs: Humper, Gouger, Tusker, Grunter, Rooter, Growler, Cottontail, Snouter? (H)
A19.: Gouger, Tusker, Rooter and Snouter. Cottontail's out of Peter Rabbit

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Discworld Monthly - Issue 70: February 2003

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