Discworld Monthly - Issue 71: March 2003

1. Editorial

Welcome to issue 71. Last month we ran the lyrics for All The Little Angels. It transpires that those lyrics were put together by JAK of the Discworld in Miniature web site (www.area51b.freeserve.co.uk/dworld.htm)

The Discworld in Miniature web site includes pictures and descriptions of how JAK has recreated some of his favourite characters in 25mm models.

David Bond has created a piece of music that fits All The Little Angels. If you are interested in finding out more about it contact David at david@bond8911.freeserve.co.uk

We thought we should remind you that as Discworld Monthly is a non-profit-making organization we have set up a new domain. From now on all emails should be sent to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk and our main web page can be accessed via www.discworldmonthly.org/

My apologies if this issue is a little short. February has been very busy for me and the end of the month caught up with me before I realised it. Expect normal service to resume next month.

Please note the meeting below has been cancelled due to illness. We would like to send get well wishes to both Bernard and Trevor.

Finally if you have nothing to do on the afternoon of Saturday 8th March 2003 why not visit Hammicks in Horsham, West Sussex where a Thud demonstration has been arranged. Bernard Pearson and Trevor Truran will be attending to providing valuable tips. All are very welcome and if you can already play all the better.

--
Jason Anthony (Editor) info@discworldmonthly.co.uk
William Barnett (Deputy Editor)
Richard Massey (Maths Know-Nothing)

2. News

Bernard "The Cunning Artificer" Pearson is having another event. Those of you who enjoyed the December 2002 Hogswatch / Twinning event will be pleased to hear that a date has been set for the next Artificer gathering. Saturday 24th May and Sunday 25th May should now be marked down in your diary as 'must go to Wincanton'! Various festivities will be taking place including the traditional Sausage Supper. Terry Pratchett will of course be hanging around too.

More details will be available on http://www.artificer.co.uk

Terry will be going to Penguicon, a Sci-Fi and Linux convention in Warren MI, on May 2-4.

"The Watch's forensic alchemist Cheery Littlebottom now has her very own comic strip. A new cartoon is added every Sunday so come along to www.angelfire.com/freak/poppy/cheery.html for your weekly dose of Discworld humour!"

Terry Pratchett's "THE TRUTH" will be perormed at the BAKEHOUSE THEATRE 255 Angas St, Adelaide on March 28-29 & Aoril 2-5, 9-12 at 8pm. It is directed by DANNY SAG and production managed by SEAN VENNING.

Bookings - Betty on 8296 2004 (7am-7pm, 7 days) or BASS 131 246 (booking fee will apply)

Tickets - Adult 14AUD, Concession 12AUD, Group (10+) 10AUD

Preview - March 28, all tickets 10AUD (only available on 8296 2004)

Theatre Dinner Deal - Thai Hutt Restaurant, 214 Hutt St, Adelaide. Entree, main, soft drink and ticket for 30AUD only available by booking on 8296 2004

For more information visit www.unseen.com.au/

The Purple Theatre Company will be performing Interesting Times in April and May set section 6 of this issue for more details.

Small Ads....

Please note, DWM has no way of checking the veracity or validity of any of the items in our small ads section. As always, exercise caution when giving out your details over the Internet. We *strongly* recommend parental supervision for younger readers who
follow up any of these contacts.

Kevin 0kwc@qlink.queensu.ca writes: I have a brand new copy of Discworld 1 for PSX. In mint condition, comes with manual and everything. 10USD plus shipping or best offer.

Helge Nordvik he-nor@online.no writes: I am looking for a person I used to exchange emails with. That was at my old Work-Email- Address-Thingy, which I haven't been able to check for 3-4 years or so.

His name is Samuel Wilcox, and I would really appreciate it if he could write me an email telling me how his thesis goes and the likes of that...

Brandon W weig9000@wlu.ca writes: I am in dire need of reasonably- priced copies of the PC games Discworld 2 and Discworld Noir. Living in Canada both of these, especially Discworld 2, are bloody impossible to find.

Cathryn Johns cjohns@cs.uct.ac.za writes: I recently discovered the Terry Pratchett meetup system (at tpratchett.meetup.com). It sounds like a really great idea, except that for Cape Town, South Africa there are only 2 of us signed up - and it really fails miserably as a get-together if there's only 2 people to get together.

So this is a call for all those in Cape Town who keep complaining that there no Pratchett people or events locally - this is your chance to make an event! Stop complaining, and get together - they've even done all the hard work for us!

Sue (AKA Pixie) kenworthys@connect.com.fj writes: Since the late 80's, I've been living in strange places (like South Africa, Botswana and Fiji), so I have never seen a Discworld play, never been on the same continent as a signing tour, and will probably never get to a Discworld convention. BUT I will be in the UK in April, with my two boys (who think, after reading 'Maurice", that Terry is worthy of having his feet kissed), so does anyone know of any theatre or amateur dramatic group that has plans to put on a Discworld play at that time? I'll be in the North, in either Lancashire, Cumbria or Yorkshire, for most of the time. I am willing to sell my children in exchange for quality information ('Maurice' not included in the deal).

henk daled henk.daled@skynet.be writes: I'm looking for the English version of Discworld, but I don't want to buy them through Internet. Do you know which Belgian publisher distributes them in Belgium?

dabrowne dabrowne@worldonline.co.za writes: I saw an e-mail this month in the small ads asking for copies of the Guards Guards episodes on CD. I was wondering that if someone does have them, would they be kind enough to send me a copy as well? thanks :)))) BTW I live in South Africa so I'm not sure if it costs a lot to post here or not????

Also, some people have been asking for the music for "Trampling the Infidels" but I need the words - anyone know a site to get them from??

Andrew Brookes moonspook@yahoo.com writes: I'm looking for a copy of The Assassins Guild 2000 Discworld Diary - it's the only one that no shop or auction site seems to stock, and the only one I don't have..

Also, way back in issue 15 (July 1998, I think) an article of mine was "printed" in DWM called the "Rincewind-agotchi", and I was emailed a short time later from someone asking permission to put it on their website. If that chap still reads this, could they drop me a line if it's still on that site, and what the URL is?

Matt Naylor ( matthewnaylor1210@hotmail.com ) writes: I need the 2000 Assassins Guild Diary to complete my collection. If anyone has a mint copy which hasn't been written in for sale drop me an email with a price!'

3. Readers' Letters

If you have any letters or comments, please email them to info@discworldmonthly.co.uk

We assume any correspondence is eligible for use in the newsletter unless otherwise stated, including the sender's email address. We may also edit your letters and wash your lettuce.

It is vitally important that you don't pass off other people's work as your own. If you use information from other resources please let us know so we can give proper credit.

This month we have a Clarecraft keyring to give away. Clarecraft have a long history of making models of Discworld Characters. For more information about all Clarecraft products visit their web site at www.clarecraft.co.uk

*
* From: "Liam Kemble-Young" kembleyo@rnibncw.demon.co.uk
*
My name is Liam and I am 14 years old and think Terry Pratchett is great. For my ICT GCSE project I'm writing a web site about him. I am totally blind and read his books in Braille and listen to them on tape. But need some help as I have to collect some information about how many books TP has sold in a year. Can you help me find this information? Please can you send me the picture of the Ankh Morpork coat of arms (2 hippos) many thanks for all your help.

*
* From: "Jase the ace" braindeadleper@hotmail.com
*
I recently went to the cinema to see '8mile' with my girl friend and I swear that in one of the scenes at Eminem's trailer there are a couple of PTerry books on the shelf. I think one of them is definitely Hogfather but I forget what the other is. Could it be that the 'hardcore' rapper reads TP or someone in the crew put the books there to make it look like he is capable of reading?

*
* From: Debi Linton d.linton@ucl.ac.uk
*
I hate to disappoint Catherine Mole, but there is absolutely no doubt that PTerry, being a Wiltshire man (OK, I know he went to school in Bucks) based Scumble on that famous West Country drink, Scrumpy, formed by leaving all your rotten apples in a metal bucket until they ferment. Me, I could never see the attraction in it, but my dear mother, who grew up in Somerset, could wax lyrical about it for hours...

PS thanks to Ashwan for the web link for 'Being the Right Size' - it was actually on my reading list this year and you just saved me many pence of photocopying!

DWM replies: Thanks also to Geoff for the information on Scrumpy.

*
* From: "Anooshka Rawden" dimachaeri@hotmail.com
*
I am not sure if I am contacting the right person but have a query concerning Terry Pratchett's 'Interesting Times' which has bothered me for quite a while. Who is the goddess known as 'the Lady' with the green eyes? Trying to work this out has engrossed me for ages, and for the sake of my sanity can anyone tell me?

DWM replies: No-one will want to answer this, because if you say her name she forsakes you...

*
* From: "TK" cid_highwindz@excite.com
*
In an odd twist of fate I decided to get The Carpet People out from my local public library. I needed something to read and it seemed right. As it turned out however that this was a hardbook first edition with pictures by Terry.

So I think to myself, I think, I'll ask the good people on the Discworld Monthly about Terry's pictures in the book. Then in issue 70 which I just read before writing this E-mail there is a couple of mentions of First Editions of the Carpet People, INCLUDING one about a person who got their copy from a library.

A million-to-one anybody?

Anyway I was wondering if Terry has done any other drawings in his books, besides the Carpet People. And if no, why not.

(Also now my public Library is going to be short one copy Carpet People)

DWM replies: That's really reprehensible.

*
* From: "Sharon Edmonds" s.edmonds@dundee.ac.uk
*
I would just like to reply to one of the letters on the recent newsletter from Hjayfour@aol.com

Having worked in libraries all my working life I just wanted to stand up for them. The reader states that they are disappointed in how the libraries treat the books. Can I say we don't mistreat books, readers do. Also I think they are disappointed that this book was withdrawn: the main thing libraries have to deal with is space. We all would love to keep every book no matter how tattered but its just not feasible, believe me it breaks our hearts when we have to get rid of such great books but if it hasn't been taken out for years then it has to go.

They should just be happy that they got a free book - wouldn't we all like that.

There, off my soap box now.

*
* From: "Richard Cardwell" r.cardwell@virgin.net
*
Peter Halpin asked if PTerry was an admirer of Oliver Cromwell: Vimes may have some similarities but it wouldn't be like Sam to carry out "ethnic cleansing", as Ollie did in the Irish town of Drogheda.

DWM replies: Thanks also to Jen Crowe badb_catha_nimue@yahoo.com for information on this.

*
* From: "Doreen Knight" doreenknight64@hotmail.com
*
Just a tip for anyone in the area finding it difficult to obtain second-hand Discworld books: the book stall in Salisbury Market (Wiltshire) on Saturday usually has a good selection.

*
* From: JJANEGANLEY@aol.com
*
I've seen lots of Discworld fans remarking that the novels are hard to find in their part of the world, or asking about a book that's currently out of print.

If you're looking for ANY book, not just one of Terry's, please try Bookfinder (www.bookfinder.com) which searches almost all the online bookselling sites. And it's free.

You can choose to search for new or used, paperbacks or hardbacks, and specify first editions if you're feeling wealthy. You can scroll down and choose which currency you want the results displayed in.

And most of the second hand book dealers will be pleased to send you a copy even if you live in Greece or New Zealand or Timbuctoo. Bookfinder doesn't deal in books, it merely searches the sites that do.

I do a little book dealing myself and use Bookfinder all the time; I have no connection to the site. But it's well worth knowing about.

Hope this helps to fill in the gaps in your collection.

Best wishes from Jane in Wales, an avid fan of all things Discworld, especially Mrs Cake the Medium and her spirit guide One Man Bucket.

*
* From: Chris Walsh cmw@nbnet.nb.ca
*
I recently had the same problem as Clare in issue 70 when I wanted to play the first Discworld game on my Windows XP machine. After much searching, I found this program:

sourceforge.net/projects/vdmsound/

It can take over the sound duties for old DOS games. Apparently, the main reason most old DOS games don't run on newer systems is because the new systems can't replicate the old Soundblaster sound drivers. I hope this program solves your problems.

*
* From: "Erik Abranson" erik_abranson@rocketmail.com
*
About the "EMERGING TERRITORY" news item posted in last issue by "Andrea, April & Cari" (the emerging, or rather bobbing up and down volcanic island in the Mediterranean):

By Jingo, that article, from an American Midwest rag, is ill-informed! While it is true that that island, which briefly emerged in 1831, was unacceptably claimed by the British (who called it Graham Island) and equally unacceptably the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies (who named it Ferdinandea), Spain never claimed it - probably the journalist was confused by the Kingdom of (Naples and) the Two Sicilies comprising lands in Spain (incl. Barcelona, I seem to remember).

That article fails to mention the real name of the island, which is Ile Julia, and the real owner of the island, which is France! Indeed, in 1831, upon hearing the news of the island's emergence and the unhealthy interest shown in it by the "Sicilians" and the Brits, France promptly dispatched the naval brig "La Fleche" which landed a party who erected a tri-coloured plaque.

*
* From: "Nicole Matatko" littlegreenwoman@aon.at
*
First of all: I love these books! (Why else would I read this newsletter?) As I am studying translation in Austria, I'm always interested in how the Discworld was translated into other languages. Are there any people from France here? Because there is a thing or two that really puzzles me: If death is "la mort" in French, is he a woman? And what name, then, does Mort have?

*
* From: Stuart stuart@sd-associates.co.uk
*
It's time that Johnny Maxwell made a reappearance. The three existing books are great and the cross references to Discworld are unmistakable (anyone spot Mrs Tacheon's expletive 'Millenium hand and shrimp' in Johnny and the Bomb?). I'm not so much looking for a Johnny Maxwell aged 21 as the next adventure with Johnny a little bit older, his next year so to speak, after the last novel - a bit like the year on year chronology of Harry Potter.

*
* From: "Andrew Tucker" madbaz@bazcave.freeserve.co.uk
*
Did our diverse and erudite readership know that "Tuppence more and up goes the donkey!" was in fact not invented by the esteemed Mr Pratchett during the hallucinogenic haze that followed the quaffing of one too many banana daiquiri's?

No indeed, it's an actual expression, probably dating from the 18th Century, which by the 19th was being used to indicate derision or incredulity, and was recorded as such by Punch magazine in 1841. I just found it in a dictionary of slang.

As to the origin... Well, let's see what you lot come up with.

*
* From: "Matt Kruczek" Matt.Kruczek@btinternet.com
*
Over the last couple of years, I've been slowly putting together a computer version of Cripple Mr Onion. The first (VERY basic!) version is now ready to be let out in the open. It is available for download from: mr.onion.users.btopenworld.com/

As I said, this is a very basic version, its not even written for Windows (my programming knowledge goes as far as 1989 and no further), and I would welcome any constructive comments or suggestions.

*
* From: "Whyte Lyon" whyte_lyon@hotmail.com
*
I *so* agree with the idea of Peter (LOTR) Jackson doing the first Discworld movie I'd hold my breath until I turn blue! However, as that's unlikely to prove influential I suggest that all like-minded Pratchett fans pick their fav. title and send a copy to Mr Jackson c/o Wingnut Films, PO Box 15-208, Miramar, Wellington, New Zealand. When he's been buried in books he can do one of two things - build a small but unique house using the novels as bricks, or *take the hint*!

Even though the knee-jerk reaction is to think *Watch!* and my fav. title to give to first-time Pratchett readers is actually *Small Gods*, I have to say the title I'll be picking up to send on to Mr Jackson will be *Lords & Ladies* - he's done such a fantastic job of getting the world to fall in love w. elves, I'd be very interested to see how he goes about representing them as the fiendish fiends Mr Pratchett sees them!

I wonder what Mr Pratchett would think about getting the same treatment as Tolkien by Mr Jackson...?

*
* From: "Greebo" Greebo@iprimus.com.au
*
Not sure if your familiar with the hasbro game "Diplomacy" but many variants have come from the concept.

Just found a DISCWORLD variant today :) Wierd....

www.variantbank.com/rules/o/octarine.htm

4. Disc Trivia

William "Mr Trivia" Barnett is back with some more brain teasers for
you. Continuing this month with books 21-25, he'll be asking one question per book, in chronological order, until he runs out of books or questions. If you have not read up to The Truth you should probably avoid these questions as they may contain spoilers.

Q20.: Why 71-hour Ahmed? (J)
Q21.: Why do the wizards go to the trouble of trying to locate Rincewind in the first place? (TLC)
Q22.: What's Igor's dog's name? (CJ)
Q23.: What secret about the new Low King is hinted at during his final audience with Vimes? (TFE)
Q24.: What is the original motto of The Ankh-Morpork Times (clever trick question for right spods)? (TT)

As always the answers can be found at the end of this issue.

5. Competition Results: Win a limited edition BBC7 T-Shirt

Last month we offered the opportunity to win a limited edition BBC7 T-Shirt. BBC7 is the new digital radio station that has recently run the radio adaptation of Guards! Guards!

We asked you to send the answer to the following question to us

Q. What fictional Radio Norwich DJ is mentioned in the "Office" greeting card? Check out the following URL to get your answer: ~~www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7/greetings~~

The correct answer was of course C) Alan Partridge

The randomly selected winner was Tom Godfrey. Your T-Shirt will be posted as soon as we get your postal address.

To listen to BBC7 over the Internet or to find out more information about this new station visit www.bbc.co.uk/bbc7

6. Article: Pratchett's Elves Raise A Thousand For Christmas

3 February 2003

1000GBP was raised for charity by the Purple Theatre Company at the end of 2002. In their latest production, Terry Pratchett's 'Lords and Ladies', characters were sponsored in a special appeal to raise funds for BBC's Children in Need.

The challenge was additional to the company's more customary fund-raising, where nightly raffle sales were donated to Shooting Star Trust and raffle sales for signed Pratchett books were donated to The Orangutan Foundation.

The group, which has staged over eight productions in the five years since its creation, has raised money for a number of charitable organisations with each show, including the Hammersmith Hospital Kidney Patients Association, Tiny Smiles and Purple Dreams, among others.

The Purple Theatre Company is a resident dramatics group of the Compass Theatre in Ickenham, and has so far staged adaptations of Terry Pratchett's Masquerade, Carpe Jugulum and Lords and Ladies, as well as having previously presented Mort and Men At Arms as Brunel Alumni Drama in Uxbridge.

The group are now taking on their sixth Pratchett challenge 'Interesting Times', which will be on at the Compass Theatre from 30 April until 3 May 2003 at 8pm. For more information about the forthcoming production please call 07050 605 081, or visit the website at www.purpletheatre.org.uk

7. The End

* Contact Information *

We prefer information to be sent via email, but can accept information via fax or post at the following addresses:

Email: info@discworldmonthly.co.uk
Post: J Anthony-Rowlands (DWM), 20 Cambrian Place, Pontarddulais, Swansea, SA4 8RG

* Latest Book Information *

The latest Discworld book released in paperback was Thief of Time 0552148407/87 and the latest hardback was Night Watch 0385602642/87

Terry's latest children's book is The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents 0385601239/87 and his latest collaboration is The Science of Discworld II: The Globe 0091882737/87

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* Trivia Results *

Q20.: Why 71-hour Ahmed? (J)
A20.: According to D'reg custom, you are obliged to extend hospitality to a guest for 3 days (72 hours). Ahmed killed a guest after 71 hours when he discovered the man had poisoned a well, murdering a whole village.
Q21.: Why do the wizards go to the trouble of trying to locate Rincewind in the first place? (TLC)
A21.: They need someone who remembers the Librarian's name so that he can be magically cured ('Can't magic a wizard without knowing his name. Basic rule.').
Q22.: What's Igor's dog's name? (CJ)
A22.: Scraps ('Thcrapth').
Q23.: What secret about the new Low King is hinted at during his final audience with Vimes? (TFE)
A23.: (S)he's a woman.
Q24.: What is the original motto of The Ankh-Morpork Times (clever trick question for right spods)? (TT)
A24.: 'The Truth Shall Make Ye Free'. 'Fret' is a mis-print.

* Obtaining Terry's Books *

If you are looking for Terry books or videos over the net, simply visit our web page at www.discworldmonthly.org and follow the 'Purchasing' link on the left panel of the page.

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Thanks for reading this issue of 'Discworld Monthly'. We hope you enjoyed it. If you have any comments or suggestions for the future of this newsletter please email: info@discworldmonthly.co.uk

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